Hey everyone! so as you know the last few days have been rather tough for me despite having the last week or so prior to being probably the best in my life. I have noticed a few things, I do feel male when I am at my lowest and female when I am at my highest. Tonight i went to a meditation with some of the other Canadian Native tribes people there too. I must say my insecurities were high, at times I felt male but the more I went into the soul searching with the drum beating and chanting and mediation the more my mind tried to plaster a male, the more i can close to crying and would feel slightly high strung-ish. The more I felt like my true female self without the insecurities the more at peace and lighter I felt with a warmness. I came as my full self, known as Ashley. This was the first time i beelive I came female. Must have been, because I got compliments that I look better and that i seem more at peace with myself then i did when i wasnt being female. I had a talk with the lady who runs it and she told me flat up ''You a female, accept it''.. I felt so awesome to hear that i gave her two hugs lol.. She did say that everyone has a masculine/maleish side and also a feminine/femaleish side. But she told me that I am a female from what she sees and has observed in me (i saw her a lot for advice during my meltdowns last year). Idk, after that night of meditation and such I feel really calm. Calmer then Ihave felt since Monday morning or so.. so I calm I am a bit sleepy hehehe. I just wanted to share that, I love this journey so far
