I'm afraid I'm going to look like a man dressed up like a woman!

[CarlyMcx]

When I started hormones almost a year ago my thinking was: "I'm 53.   How much could they do?  I'll take them for the psychological benefits, and I'll keep dressing at home, and keep on being male at work."

Well, that has pretty much gone out the window.  I am moving very fast toward the point of "male fail."

I got clocked and catcalled on Friday (see my post about it), so at least one person who figured out that I am trans also thinks I am hot enough to want for a date.  Being pretty and feminine is nice, but be advised, there is a dark side to it as well.  So be careful what you wish for.

Even if I were never 100 percent passable (full passability is extremely unlikely for me given the size of my hands and feet) I would still do this.  I suffered massive, debilitating panic attacks for the last ten years before transition, and I still get them if I go anywhere or do anything in male mode.

[DemonRaven]

I do not know if anyone mentioned this yet I got lazy and did not read though all the replies. Sorry my bad.  But the best advice I can give you is to get ahold of a  female impersonator that you admire and have her teach you how to pass. They can tell you a few tricks as long as you promise not to steal their jobs.  Seriously some of them make me droll and it is hard to get around that fact that they are male.

[Artesia]

I sincerely apologize to anyone I offended. I have posted previously that although I am grateful for the lessening of my depression from realizing my true self, I am not happy that I am TG. I would prefer to be cisgender in a heartbeat. As TG, I want to be a woman, that includes looking like one.

I take no offense.  Just passing on my feelings, and how my perspective has shifted in such a short time.

[JoanneB]

Back some 40 or so years ago this 6ft tall, towering over the average male, balding, deeper then average voiced, frog hand, supersized feet person "Experimented" with transitioning. A few years later I tried it again. Both times utter fails. Both times totally consumed, haunted, obsessed with the dark cloud of "Some Guy in a Dress" enveloping me. Which it did, it showed. Not just I but others spotted it.

It took some 40 or so years later for me to step out into the light of day to feel , to live in sheer joy of being the real me out in the real world. A short time later I realized my lifelong dream of being seen as and accepted as a woman. BTW, this was in rural West Virginia vs the NYC area of my youth

What changed? Well, I did get a little shorter thanks to unrelenting gravitational effects. I still wore a wig as before. It took loosing a boat load of Shame and Guilt about being trans. It took learning healthier ways to think. It took finally, in just a small way, to accept myself for who and what I am. It took finally ALLOWING myself to feel that deserve some joy in my life. That my feelings, needs, and wants do matter and are OK to seek them vs always doing "What was Expected"

In shoes with typical 2-3 inch heels I'm still 6ft tall. I still have a deep voice. I compensate for these by always trying to present as unambiguously female as I can be it in a skirt or jeans. Do I get clocked? I have no doubts I am. Do I care? As long as there isn't finger pointing, laughing, or worse, I don't care. I am being the real, totally genuine me in the real world.

And.... not to harp on a point well piled on, I've been out to various trans functions and seen and met women that at first you say to yourself..... Then when you talk to them you realize they exude the joy of being the real them in the real world and that is what matters.

It is a LOT harder job to change the way you feel about yourself, then your clothes. A TG Support Group and a couple of angels sent there to help me when I needed it most was an immense help. A For-Real Gender Therapist also helped. Even a Trans-Friendly therapist will be good to help with core issues and especially to ask the you the questions you don't want to hear and get you to think about things you would rather ignore

[SailorMars1994]

Back some 40 or so years ago this 6ft tall, towering over the average male, balding, deeper then average voiced, frog hand, supersized feet person "Experimented" with transitioning. A few years later I tried it again. Both times utter fails. Both times totally consumed, haunted, obsessed with the dark cloud of "Some Guy in a Dress" enveloping me. Which it did, it showed. Not just I but others spotted it.

It took some 40 or so years later for me to step out into the light of day to feel , to live in sheer joy of being the real me out in the real world. A short time later I realized my lifelong dream of being seen as and accepted as a woman. BTW, this was in rural West Virginia vs the NYC area of my youth

What changed? Well, I did get a little shorter thanks to unrelenting gravitational effects. I still wore a wig as before. It took loosing a boat load of Shame and Guilt about being trans. It took learning healthier ways to think. It took finally, in just a small way, to accept myself for who and what I am. It took finally ALLOWING myself to feel that deserve some joy in my life. That my feelings, needs, and wants do matter and are OK to seek them vs always doing "What was Expected"

In shoes with typical 2-3 inch heels I'm still 6ft tall. I still have a deep voice. I compensate for these by always trying to present as unambiguously female as I can be it in a skirt or jeans. Do I get clocked? I have no doubts I am. Do I care? As long as there isn't finger pointing, laughing, or worse, I don't care. I am being the real, totally genuine me in the real world.

And.... not to harp on a point well piled on, I've been out to various trans functions and seen and met women that at first you say to yourself..... Then when you talk to them you realize they exude the joy of being the real them in the real world and that is what matters.

It is a LOT harder job to change the way you feel about yourself, then your clothes. A TG Support Group and a couple of angels sent there to help me when I needed it most was an immense help. A For-Real Gender Therapist also helped. Even a Trans-Friendly therapist will be good to help with core issues and especially to ask the you the questions you don't want to hear and get you to think about things you would rather ignore

Not to derail but why did you live in West Virginia? The state of Virginia looks aboslultey beautiful and amazing and is the most progressive state in the south but I havent a clue about WV and what its like, please educate ?? It is funny. In 1996 West Virginia voted heavily for Bill Clinton whereas Virginia went for Bob Dole, 20 years later Bills wife Hilary lost WV by the worst smashing in that states history for either party whereas Virginia, the state Bill lost both times was her only southern win... Sorry, huge poltical nerd that loves to post meaningless crap no-one cares about... Maybe that is my slightly autistic side coming out ?

[sarah1972]

Virginia is pretty much spilt. You have Northern Virginia (close to D.C.) which is mostly Democratic. All the rest is still pretty much Republican.

Last Election, Republicans where in the lead in Virginia until Northern Virginia started having results which tipped the scale.

So it depends where in Virginia you would consider living.

But you are right: WV is even more conservative...

Not to derail but why did you live in West Virginia? The state of Virginia looks aboslultey beautiful and amazing and is the most progressive state in the south but I havent a clue about WV and what its like, please educate ?? It is funny. In 1996 West Virginia voted heavily for Bill Clinton whereas Virginia went for Bob Dole, 20 years later Bills wife Hilary lost WV by the worst smashing in that states history for either party whereas Virginia, the state Bill lost both times was her only southern win... Sorry, huge poltical nerd that loves to post meaningless crap no-one cares about... Maybe that is my slightly autistic side coming out ?