Another re-introduction, Hello v2

[Severance]

I'm saying hello again! I came back to the forum because originally a forum was just not something I felt I could keep up with. I need the community, the communication, the support, so I'm back here. Last time I said hello, I called myself Sev... because I didn't know which way I was going and that was just a short form for my username. But again...

I'm Amy, a transgender woman. Well, at least now I know those two words fit me better than any other two words that I've found. I'm not "the man" I was failing to be. I'm 35, married with two young boys (err... children). Males... two young males. I've come out to my immediate family now, though my father and brother found out via other members. Wife is completely livid in stages and phases. Sometimes she's sad. Sometimes she insulted. Sometimes she's throwing things at me and hitting me. She's the dominant figure in the marriage and I'm the silent victim that doesn't say anything and just endures the words. Regardless of how I type or sound anywhere else. (I type in my... man voice, if that makes sense).

So ultimatums being what they are, I'm not allowed near a support group. I have a therapist, wife approved, but feel I'm going no where because I'm asking for the impossible.

I want to overcome dysphoria and the myriad of unhealthy workarounds I've come up with over the years without having to transition. I don't want to be transgender. But I also don't want to keep ignoring this issue or denying it over and over like I did for so long until things started to just fall apart. My life was falling apart before I came out, now I feel like I'm desperately holding things together and hoping people start cutting me some slack. I want my family to stay together. My wife has already threatened to fight for full custody and move out of the country. I don't think she's allowed, but there's nothing that prevents her from visiting family abroad and just staying. With the kids. She says she won't do that to my parents who have been more than supporting for her... but anyway. I'm here because I can't interact with any other trans folks anywhere else. No support group. And I'm a... uh, person of my word. yes, I agreed to her ultimatums and I'm sticking to them. But forums were not off limits.

So that's me in a few large walnut shells.

[Severance]

Okay, wow, that made my wife out to be horrible. She was very loving to the point where I felt guilty or not being able to give her more or do things more or help her fulfill what she wants in her life. Like purpose and to see new things. She's not a horrible person. She uprooted her life several times and came out on the other end with two children when we'd only really planned for 1, a career that was great in her home nation but a joke here in the US, a backwater, criminally conservative southern town, and now a husband who wants to be a woman. She's got a lot to be upset about. I can't will her to accept me or the other ways her life has sucked. I was/am one of the only good things in her life, she told me. So... I feel horrible about it too. She's the suicide risk.

[V M]

Hi Amy 

Welcome back to Susan's Place    Glad to have you here again, join on in the fun

Here are some links to the site rules and stuff that we offer to all new and returning members to help them along

Please be sure to review:

Things that you should read

• Site Terms of Service and rules to live by
  
• Standard Terms and Definitions
  
• Post Ranks (including when you can upload an avatar)
  
• Reputation rules
  
• News posting & quoting guidelines
  
• Photo, avatars, and signature images policy
  

Hugs

V M

[Sno]

Hi Amy,

Firstly, you need this :

https://www.ag.gov.au/FamiliesAndMarriage/Families/InternationalFamilyLaw/Pages/HagueConventionOnTheCivilAspectsOfInternationalChildAbduction.aspx

Welcome back hon, (hugs)

Rowan

[Dena]

Welcome back to Susan's Place. We understand that your wife isn't a horrible person. We often encounter spouses that have difficulty adjusting to a transitioning partner. Sometimes taking it slow allows the spouse to adjust but far to often it results in separation. We like to see couples remain together but unfortunately, it doesn't always happen. Just let use know if there is anything we can help with.