Being followed...

[AutumnLeaves]

wow don't owe anyone politeness? You must have so many friends.

No, I don't think women owe politeness to men (or anybody else) who is stalking them, making them uncomfortable, or might be a threat. This person's behaviour is clearly disturbing and creepy. Trying to talk to him or engage him on any level would probably only make things worse as he would feel like his attentions were being acknowledged/validated. Way too many women, and trans women especially, become statistics. I don't want that to happen to anyone. Even if he genuinely mentally ill, that doesn't mean his behaviour should be tolerated or would not progress to violence. The safe thing to do is to contact the police and distance herself from the situation.

[AutumnLeaves]

I agree, Alex.

Due to my being partially transmale, despite resembling a tiny woman, I also tend to be macho, not take danger seriously and was nearly killed for it when I was ambushed from behind several years ago by a man I'd previously noticed seemed to be following me.

Ignore all advice to be confrontational, or polite, and tell the authorities, change routes, do what it takes to stay safe.
I now know that ANY male showing an interest in me, changing routes or behavior to keep me in sight is potentially lethal.

I concur. Please ignore anyone telling you to confront him, be nice, carry weapons, start a fight, etc. Contact whatever authorities are in you area and distance yourself from the situation as soon as you can.

Be safe!

[josie76]

Arorasky, I'm glad you called the police about him. I understand now where you are even self defense items like pepper spray are not legal.


Just some other way of looking at things

Pepperspray or mace is not about being armed as some have suggested. Where legal to have, it is a last chance defense for a situation where the attacker has already cornered you and gotten too close making avoidance or running impossible.

The idea of a male friend is more about simply giving the stalker the feeling that you are not alone. If the person is of criminal intent he will normally avoid choosing a victim who is seen to be in a group. If two or more people are seen traveling together most ill-intending persons will think twice before attempting something. If the group is seen regularly the stalker may loose interest. It is not a passive aggressive game. It is basic animal psychology.

[Aurorasky]

Arorasky, I'm glad you called the police about him. I understand now where you are even self defense items like pepper spray are not legal.


Just some other way of looking at things

Pepperspray or mace is not about being armed as some have suggested. Where legal to have, it is a last chance defense for a situation where the attacker has already cornered you and gotten too close making avoidance or running impossible.

The idea of a male friend is more about simply giving the stalker the feeling that you are not alone. If the person is of criminal intent he will normally avoid choosing a victim who is seen to be in a group. If two or more people are seen traveling together most ill-intending persons will think twice before attempting something. If the group is seen regularly the stalker may loose interest. It is not a passive aggressive game. It is basic animal psychology.

Unfortunately, I have done this before. Sorry for the very late reply. I sat beside a man who tried to talk him out of intimidating me but it clearly didn't work, as he said he was only trying to be friendly and to this day continues. Lately I haven't been crossing paths with this creepy man, I hope I don't ever again,