Quote from: Mikka55 on April 15, 2017, 10:32:51 PM
So coming out to my parents was the hardest thing I ever had todo(that was a few weeks ago) and I came out on facebook a few days ago. I came out on Facebook for my friends and co-workers, and me. So yeah I came out I even showed my friends the picture I have here in the forum. So when my dad saw my post he was of course upset, and so was mom. So he said... "is there anything you have to say? why did you post that?" I told him no there is nothing to explain, because really what I described on Facebook was everything I needed to say. So then he said "I thought we agreed we worked on your (my) depression and anxiety first before we talk about the topic about being trans" I ignored him and walked away. What I post on facebook is non of his business. As much as I want to explain everything to him and my mom, they will never understand. I told them I want a female body and non-binary etc etc.... There really is nothing to talk about. Because what ever I tell them they wont understand. I even tell my friends...its who I am... and if you can't support me then don't be my friend. My parents always told me as a kid what ever is on my mind feel free to talk to them. But even as a kid.... I have a hard time trusting them. That's why I never told them anything about my life. In fact I told my mom last week too I might highly be bi also. I just never told them my past experiences with males. Im at that point were I want to say if you support me cool, if you don't have anything good to say.. then don't say it.
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Hi Mikka!
Well, we must agree that the T-bomb is a bomb for us but also for whoever is close to us.
My experience was not exactly like yours, but I can tell you that I came out to my parents with a loooong e-mail and their answer was everything but pretty. They bashed me quite a bit and clearly answered me that they would never accept this. And that is notwithstanding the fact that they saw plenty of cues since I was 4-5 years old (I'm 44 now). I believe they didn't see the T-bomb coming, but it's not like it came totally out of the blue... Anyways, I waited about a month before answering their derogatory e-mail... I needed to calm down, to regroup the forces in me, before answering in a zen way. And a few days ago, a got their answer. Apparently, my mom hasn't read my second e-mail, but my dad has undoubtedly calmed down quite a bit. He no longer totally excludes accepting my transition... But asks me to give more time to my mom, so she can digest the news. So there's been progress where I thought impossible.
My humble advice: above all, don't give up on your intention to transition because of people's reactions. Don't give up on the possibility that your parents will eventually accept it... That may not happen, but you might also have a nice surprise in the future. Give them time to digest the news, especially at such an early stage post-announcement. Don't force these events, don't demand acceptation. Just show your parents how much your happiness improved with you decision, how much kinder, content and how much of a better person you are after taking that decison. They're not blind. They, also, will see and feel it. They will come to their own conclusions. And if they truly love you, as I'm sure they do, they will probably accept.
Acceptation is not ONE event, but a process that may take years of even the entire life... Let things flow... It's a bit like a chinese finger trap. If you rush things you won't be able to get free, but if you're patient, there's a good chance you'll succeed.
Hugs, Sarah
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