Conflicting feelings about my man bits

[Michaela397]

Hi all, I'm new to the forum so apologies in advance if this subject is too explicit.

I came out of my denial about my dysphoria a while ago and now I'm ok with disclosing that I despise my male genitalia, my man junk is the thing I'm most dysphoric about and I above all I'm most interested in the SRS. This is nothing to feel guilty or embarrassed about, I know. But, why does it demand so much attention, why do I feel like a sex addict all the time, why can it not behave itself? One would think that if I feel this way about my penis and my male sexuality I would refrain from gratifying myself in this way.

To put it really bluntly, I can't stop masturbating and I feel really conflicted about it.

I've listened to some of what some of the TERFs say and I'm concerned that my feeling about myself might be misinterpreted in the way they misinterpret the ->-bleeped-<-.

Am I getting myself too wound up over this? I'd really appreciate a diversity of opinion about this.

Thanks in advance.

[Harley Quinn]

Sexual gratification is human nature... I wouldn't over think it. You're just working with what you got. It doesn't mean anything.

[Kylo]

I'd really appreciate a diversity of opinion about this.

I'd say the conflict could be because

a) if you're not on HRT, male levels of testosterone contributes to making you think about gratification FAR more often than without it. There's a massive difference between how much I thought about it without male levels and after, with male levels of it. It's almost nothing to do with whether you "want" to think about it or not. That stuff just makes you.

and b) if you aren't comfortable with your junk, using it feels unpleasant.

Not much more I can add. It makes perfect sense to me you feel this way, and if you get SRS and take hormones you'll probably stop feeling so bad about it.

[AnonyMs]

I've heard this many many times before. Its just testosterone doing what it does, and its good for stress relief - I'm guessing you're under a lot of stress. I will change dramatically if you start on HRT.

[LizK]

Hi all, I'm new to the forum so apologies in advance if this subject is too explicit.

I came out of my denial about my dysphoria a while ago and now I'm ok with disclosing that I despise my male genitalia, my man junk is the thing I'm most dysphoric about and I above all I'm most interested in the SRS. This is nothing to feel guilty or embarrassed about, I know. But, why does it demand so much attention, why do I feel like a sex addict all the time, why can it not behave itself? One would think that if I feel this way about my penis and my male sexuality I would refrain from gratifying myself in this way.

To put it really bluntly, I can't stop masturbating and I feel really conflicted about it.

I've listened to some of what some of the TERFs say and I'm concerned that my feeling about myself might be misinterpreted in the way they misinterpret the ->-bleeped-<-.

Am I getting myself too wound up over this? I'd really appreciate a diversity of opinion about this.

Thanks in advance.

Hi Michaela397

Welcome to Susan's. I hope you enjoy your time here.

Simple answer....Yes stop stressing

You are a slave to Testosterone...if your T levels are normal then becoming aroused is not going to be difficult. In many cases it is a learned response.

Do yourself a favour stop listening to TERF's...they mean you nothing but harm, based on blatant unsupported lies they try and sell as evidence which is really just opinion...and opinions are just like bums...we all have one!!!

I hate my junk too, but it still requires exercising so it can be at least useful for creating the junk I do want...


So you are able to get the very best from being here there are a couple of links we give to all our new members

Regards

Liz

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[JeanetteLW]

Hi Michaela397,

  I'm Jeanette. I'm 64,mtf and on hrt. I'd like yo unofficially welcome you to Susan's Place. (( Hug )) Yes I do that. Anyway welcome, come right in and have a seat. I don't share your dislike of my male parts as a whole I do however want at least 2/3 of them gone. I did share your desire to play with oneself though. I found myself doing many time a day while perusing porn featuring girls similar to myself. (Gee I wonder where my head was at) yep you got it those shes were me in my head and I got off to that a lot, I mean a LOT!  Funny, now that I figured out I was trans for real and started doing HRT that pleasurable pastime has come to a screeching halt. My desire to engage in such activity is about nil.  Now maybe once a week I'll get the urge but it takes working at it now and is nowhere near as fun. It's just a bodily need now I think.
  So maybe that is your solution. to got to your doctor and get the ball rolling to become who you believe you need to be. Doing so may just resolve that particular issue you are having trouble with.

I hope this helped you.
   Hugs
Jeanette

[Wild Flower]

I don't know where to start with this thread.

I'll just say once T is remove you won't have such a need to be arouse and all that.

[Iliana.Found]

I think that there is no guarantee that your libido will be gone and that you will no longer want to masturbate. For me, the urge pretty much went away when I started hormones. Then came back and then away and then back. I want GRS, but It's not a ruling factor in my life. I like pleasure and I do love the feeling of orgasm using my current genitalia. Doesn't make me any more or less of a woman because I get aroused when using my penis. I would love to have GRS, but finances are currently preventing me from that. If I could have a wish granted to have P turn in to a V at the snap of fingers, then I'd 110% do it  how I feel about it is that, if this is what I have to work with for now, then there is no point in denying myself sexual gratification. Oh and I'm pretty sure that there are plenty of cis-females that feel like sex addicts as well I feel like the societal perception of females is that they don't like sex as much as men, therefor making women feel masculine if they do crave sex "like men". Like i hear all the time, if a girl wants to have sex a lot, then shes acting like a guy hehehehe liiiikkkeee what?!?!?!?

[Janes Groove]

Is sex addict even a real thing?  The DSM certainly doesn't list it nor does it even list hypersexuality.  From my experience many people who go to sex addict support groups are feeling deep shame about their sexual orientation, feelings or druthers, and many, perhaps most, are greatly influenced by religious dogma and shame about what is an infinitely varied and natural human response to having a human body.
Gender dysphoria however is listed in the DSM. It's real thing, and the more closely one can align one's unique sexuality with one's internal gender identity or sense of one's own gender, the less stress there will be.   Gender is the means by which sexuality find's its target.

[RobynD]

Is sex addict even a real thing?  The DSM certainly doesn't list it nor does it even list hypersexuality.  From my experience many people who go to sex addict support groups are feeling deep shame about their sexual orientation, feelings or druthers, and many, perhaps most, are greatly influenced by religious dogma and shame about what is an infinitely varied and natural human response to having a human body.
Gender dysphoria however is listed in the DSM. It's real thing, and the more closely one can align one's unique sexuality with one's internal gender identity or sense of one's own gender, the less stress there will be.   Gender is the means by which sexuality find's its target.

Jane this is a super good point that i recently discussed with someone. For one that  considered herself  to have a hyper-sex drive in the past, it was more about feeling controlled by it. If i did not get frequent, sometimes very frequent relief i was not a great person to be around. I did not like it in myself at all.

I love your last line "gender is the means that sexuality finds its target" and i would add that being happy in your gender, means that you are usually sexually more fulfilled. Whatever you express as sexual preference

[Michaela397]

Thanks for for the replies everyone, that all make a lot of sense. I guess I've got a lot to learn about myself and this journey I'm going on.