Dreams (while asleep)

[Alex M]

I noticed that I usually either appear as male or just completely not able to see what I look like in my dreams.  Usually, I have a hatred of my dreams for this reason.  Last night, I had a dream where I could see my appearance as female and I looked much further in my transition than I am in waking life.  My hair was softer, without any hair line issues, and styled in a very feminine way.

I was wondering how other trans people see themselves within dreams.

[JeanetteLW]

Hi Alex,

  Funny you should ask. I used to think I only had nightmares or just didn't dream. Many of those nightmares involved me crossdressed and running and hiding trying to escape people out to do me harm or expose me for the pervert I was.
  Since I started doing HRT,  I've had more dreams that I remember and in them I am a woman under more pleasant circumstances.

  Purely coincidental I'm sure. 

Hugs,
    Jeanette

[maksim]

I have a system of dreams that's very predictable.
In all of my trauma-related nightmares, I'm female. My trauma heavily revolved around my birth sex.
In my unrelated-to-trauma nightmares or neutral dreams, I'm as I am now: trans male.
In all of my good dreams, I'm cis male. Like the one I had last night, where I beat my favorite figure skater in the ISU Men's Worlds and broke world records in both programs! We were on the podium together, it was so cool
But either way, gender is a big factor in how my dreams will go. If I'm a girl, my dream will be related to trauma; if I'm trans, it'll either be bad or just be dull; and if I'm cis, then I know I'm gonna have a good night and wake up feeling well.

[V M]

I have both good and bad dreams, some are reoccurring and often relate to PTSD issues and others are rather happy good dreams and about various happy things

I tend to like the happy dreams much better

[JoanneB]

"Pre-transitioning" dreams that I could actually recall or know I had fell mostly into 3rd person, like I was watching a movie. About 1/4 of them I (as male, but a far better looking version) was actually part of the dream itself. Usually involved cool stuff like flying, or scary stuff.

These days it varies a lot depending on what sort of crap in my life I am dealing with. A good half are still 3rd person, then the split between knowing I am male, female or ? varies a lot with the intensity of the GD or the painful futility of why am I even bothering to try dealing with it?

And then there is the occasional I am an FTM female dream Not sure what category you can put that one in

[Kylo]

Usually male, usually just as I see myself now, although occasionally I've had some idealized dreams.

[Sluggy]

A little over a month on HRT now I had a dream where I was transitioning physically and it altered my perception a bit.

For me though, my self has always been detached from my physical body, so I don't really see myself as "male" in my dreams, so much as having nightmares that others perceive me as male.

[Janes Groove]

Many dream theorists believe that ALL of the characters in one's dreams are manifestations of the self.  In other words we may dream about another person male or female but it is some facet of our personality that our mind is projecting into the form of another person.  Also, the more one becomes aware of one's dreaming the more lucid the dreaming becomes.   In my most lucid dreams I am a transitioning transgender woman.

[Alex81]

I usually have quite vivid dreams that range in a variety of things. I could ramble for awhile about dreams, but I wont and people might think I'm mental case.

I do recall a higher than normal vivid dream this past weekend, where I drove from where I live to get GCS from Dr Rumer. The dream consisted of the road-trip, arriving in the parking lot, walking inside to fill out some paperwork and to talk with the medical staff, then finally undergo the operation. When I woke up from the dream, I didn't feel it was a nightmare or an euphoric dream.

Here's the strange thing. I was looking at Rumer's site a month ago, and used Garmin basecamp to see how far away it was. That was it. Also GCS isn't on my radar at this time or any time soon (I still haven't seen a therapist). I'm not opposed to it however.

Back on topic...

Anyway in my dreams I'm typically male, but have been female a number of times as well as not human. I have also died several times in my dreams, and they did continue after my death. Most of the time, my dreams are unrelated to whats currently going on in my life, but on some rare occasions I will dream about what I was last doing before I went to bed. Even more rarely, depending on my stress level with my current longer term jobs (I'm an electrician) I will dream about particular jobs and these are incredibly vivid like the GCS dream...

I have thus far been unable to correlate the "quality" of my dreams to its actual meaning. Most of my dreams what i would call "normal" (day to day), then there are the "hyper-realistic" & "gritty" dreams and these are the ones I remember well.

[ImSomething]

In dreams I usually see myself as I physically am or don't see myself at all. Although I sometimes get perspective into my mental situation regarding transition and dysphoria. Like, the other day I had a dream at the end of my nap in which I was talking to my friend and my mother and I felt like I couldn't express myself as female in the conversation, so I used male pronouns and my given name to refer to myself. And every time I used a wrong pronoun or wrong name I could feel this anguish build up until the pain eventually woke me up.

Dreams are weird.

[mac1]

My dreams are infrequent and occasionally as a girl. I am really happy and excited when that happens.