The bathroom issue

[JakeMarley]

I am female assigned at birth bi-gender. How has anyone else dealt with days when you're in the opposite role from your assigned gender and need to use the restroom in public. I'm terrified of going into the men's room in public. I think I read mostly female but sometimes get called sir. My dress is always the same jeans and a t-shirt or button up plaid. My shirts are all baggy and I'm a fairly small chested person. I've worn men's jeans shoes and shirrs for years, even before I realized what I was. On male mode days the only things I change is wearing a prosthetic stp and putting my long straight hair up into a ponytail.

I've only ever told 1 person I know about what I am and even that was an accident. (The words fell out my mouth before I could catch them.) But that is another story.

Im partially afraid of someone saying something and making me leave the men's room but mostly afraid I might run into some one I know either while in there or coming out of there. There are some people I would never want to know because it's none of their business.

Single person bathrooms are a little easier to deal with. I can just say the ladies room was full and I was having a bathroom emergency.

So what if anything does anyone else do to alleviate this issue for themselves?

[FTMax]

Literally no one cares in the men's room. Pre-everything I can only recall one time where someone looked twice at me for being in there and even then they didn't say anything.

If you run into someone you know, just pretend to be confused. Say you really had to go and didn't even notice the urinals.

[Mikka55]

(AMAB)  There were a lot of times I went to the women's washroom.  I went once when I was in high school,  principal called me in... I just said oh I really had to go,  another time was starbucks,  i just waited for the women to get in the stall.  Washed my hands and left.  Another time was when I first came out in public,  but I went to the washroom with my friend. I'm sometimes afraid to go to the women's washroom too. If I really have to go.  I would go which ever one was free.

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[Mikka55]

Even in shopping malls when I want to try something.  I'm usually in the womens department anyways,  they let me in the female fitting rooms.

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[AnneK]

I'm usually in the womens department anyways,  they let me in the female fitting rooms.

I don't recall seeing gender based change rooms.  While there may be some located in men's or women's sections, each one is a little room, completely closed off, where anyone can try on clothes.  Even in traditional women's wear stores, I've never had a problem with a change room.  Just go in and close the door or curtain and no one cares.

[Dena]

If you have enough visible clues, it's likely that you would be gendered as a young male. If so, you should have no difficulty in the male bathroom. If people's attention isn't drawn to you of some reason, they don't consider your gender and you will pass with far less difficulty. In the male rest rooms, normally it's no conversation and no looking. You go in, do your business and leave. This is somewhat different that the women bathrooms where they can become a social center.

[JakeMarley]

I know what you mean about the ladies rooms. They pay attention to everything which is why I worry about feet facing the wrong way. I know they would notice.

[DemonRaven]

Worst case senerio if they do see you as a female just say the women's was full and i really had to go sorry. Then they give you this sympathetic look and let it slide.

[cinderkaburagi]

It sounds like you pass enough to go into the men's bathroom so I don't think it's a problem. Like other people said, you could always just say you really had to use the bathroom if someone does confront you. I would use the men's if could, but having a large chest makes it near impossible to pass most of the time with a binder.

[mac1]

I have been in the men's restroom on various occasions when a woman has come in. They just proceed to an empty stall without incident, or with only a minor comment from one of the men.

[mac1]

I know what you mean about the ladies rooms. They pay attention to everything which is why I worry about feet facing the wrong way. I know they would notice.

If you use the women's restroom you should sit and that would not be a problem.

[JakeMarley]

I do sit but that causes issues with my dsyphoria. Sorry I should have clarified that.

[Mikka55]

I don't recall seeing gender based change rooms.  While there may be some located in men's or women's sections, each one is a little room, completely closed off, where anyone can try on clothes.  Even in traditional women's wear stores, I've never had a problem with a change room.  Just go in and close the door or curtain and no one cares.

Oh trust me I have been told a few years back. 7+ years.  The department store I was at was divided a few levels,  I wanted to try on a few pieces of clothing, and the lady who worked there told me, are you looking for the men's fitting room it's upstairs. Even at the Walmart near where I live,  if you look like a "male" they will unlock the left side of the hallway, if you are "female" they will unlock the right side.