Knowing you are ready for grs

[Amoré]

I am in the spot where I may have the opportunity to have grs this year or early next year the thing is I am so so scared of the pain I just don't like pain. I want the surgery badly but I want it to not hurt or disable me in life. The idea of this surgery just scares me.The horror stories of people also. Is this a sign that I am not ready for srs or is it normal too feel this way and be unsure?

I read some threads and did some research on how much pain is involved and it even scared me more. Is there a way to mentally prepare oneself for this surgery long before hand that once you are there you can me comfortable and know this is happening and to prepare for the pain.

I tried to mutilate my genitals numerous times as a teen because I wanted them to take them off I tried to castrate myself but now that I am at the point of having maybe secured my surgery opportunity I feel like getting cold feet because I am scared

[Maybebaby56]

Hi Amore,

Like they said in "Dune", that old sci-fi movie, "Fear is the mind-killer".  It's normal to feel fear.  When I first contemplated transitioning three years ago, I told myself I would give it my best shot, but there was no way in the world I could fully transition.  I was afraid of people's reactions, afraid of losing my friends, family, and job. It has been the hardest thing I have ever done, and I say this as someone who survived drug addiction and prison many years ago. But here I am, living full-time as a woman. Honestly, I have no idea how I managed to get this far, but I found a way.

I don't think anyone wants to go through the pain of recovery and the hassle of dilations, but there is no way around it. I had FFS last year and it was hell, but I am glad I did it.  I dread the post-surgical recovery from SRS, but what can I do? I just try not to think about it. I will be nervous and scared before the surgery, but I will get through it, just like everybody else. The pain will pass, and a lifetime of genital dysphoria will be over.  I will have the body I always wanted.  I just focus on that.

With kindness,

Terri

[Denise]

Pain is temporary.  Being right lasts a life time

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[Dena]

The intense pain only last a couple of days at the most. After that it's a low grade pain like about 3 or 4 out of 10. Something you should keep in mind is if you hurt, talk with the medical staff. They often can adjust your medication to control the pain. I went through the entire process without any pain medication other than what they gave me while I was in surgery. Granted I have a pretty high tolerance to pain but at about 6 day when they remove the packing, you should be over most of the pain. That's a small price to pay in order to become complete.

[jentay1367]

I can't imagine any temporary physical pain superseding the emotional pain of not doing it.

[AnonyMs]

Safe to say I a have a fear of pain. I had an awful time after a procedure I had many years ago.

I learned that pain is simply a lack of proper drugs and every time I've had something done after that I've always made sure the doctor prescribes decent painkillers. I make sure I get a prescription even if they say I won't need it. Anyway, no more problems.

There's quite a lot on the subject pain after GRS here

http://totalirc.net/hosted/Suporn2015.pdf

I'm not worried about pain from GRS, but I have some concern about finding a doctor willing to prescribe strong drugs for months. However I'm reasonably confident I could just go doctor shopping until I find one. Its quite rare for women to have bad problems with pain so its all a bit academic, but I do like to overthink things.

[Cindy]

I've just had far more invasive major surgery than a GRS and the pre-surgery discussion was very interesting.

I was told very bluntly that there was absolutely no reason that my pain level should ever exceed 2 out of 10. If I was getting any higher than it was up to me to ask for more pain relief. It was stated very clearly that avoiding pain was a medical necessity as far as my recovery was concerned and not 'just' a comfort issue. And that asking for pain relief was not a request it was a medical directive to be followed by staff.

I followed the instructions and I recovered extremely quickly from my surgery. I suggest you discuss this with your medical team prior to your surgery so that everyone is clear on the issue.

[Rachel]

GCS was not that bad to me. I took 2 oxi in the hospital and 2 at my sisters. After the packing is removed most of the discomfort was gone.

[Amoré]

Thanks guy's well I hope this investment pay's out otherwise it is going to be a couple of years before I have the cash. I am sitting with bad genital dysphoria today and I am thinking how  can I say no if the opportunity present itself. Sex life would be so much better also for me and my boyfriend. The dysphoria is disabling and he asked me like a million times today are you okay what is bothering you. I hate my genitals they are useless to me I can't use them for sexual pleasure because of the dysphoria it causes. Sex in the past was an selfless act it always felt wrong.  So this is the route too go I know the pain would be worth aligning my body finally to who I am. It is going to be amazing the day it happens. It is like closing a door and saying I made it I am complete now. Until that day I guess the suffering of genital dysphoria won't end it is the worst dysphoria I have I lost my mind as a teenager trying to castrate myself just to get rid of the thing now I know I need it because of what it must become.

[2.B.Dana]

Amore,

Looking at SRS is quite an awesome step. It didn't seem like too long ago you said it would never happen.  I have had similar feelings about the pain and ongoing upkeep of getting a neovagina. Well it didn't take too long to research and see that I was willing to go through it to have my bottom "right" for the rest of my life.

Others have described the pan levels and each of us experience them differently so it is hard to base it on the horror stories. The flip side is they have good drugs to kill the pain if you aren't shy about using them. My wife as a nurse and she always chuckled at the ladies who wanted a "natural" childbirth and feel the pain. She always said you got a baby at the end whether you had pain or no pain, she always thought the no pain option made more sense

A good part of my therapy session yesterday was learning about focusing on today, which is all we have. She said we tend to put so much energy planning and worrying about the future that we miss living today. Its something we have all heard in a variety of ways but she assured me it is one of the hardest things in life to live out.

Worry about tomorrow creates stress in today.

[Amoré]

Amore,

Looking at SRS is quite an awesome step. It didn't seem like too long ago you said it would never happen.  I have had similar feelings about the pain and ongoing upkeep of getting a neovagina. Well it didn't take too long to research and see that I was willing to go through it to have my bottom "right" for the rest of my life.

Others have described the pan levels and each of us experience them differently so it is hard to base it on the horror stories. The flip side is they have good drugs to kill the pain if you aren't shy about using them. My wife as a nurse and she always chuckled at the ladies who wanted a "natural" childbirth and feel the pain. She always said you got a baby at the end whether you had pain or no pain, she always thought the no pain option made more sense

A good part of my therapy session yesterday was learning about focusing on today, which is all we have. She said we tend to put so much energy planning and worrying about the future that we miss living today. Its something we have all heard in a variety of ways but she assured me it is one of the hardest things in life to live out.

Worry about tomorrow creates stress in today.

Awesome advice in living for today. It is very hard to live for today though. On the upside I have my daughter with me and we are playing barbie. the only thing I can't change today is that I have to live with that darn thing in between my legs. It runes everything at this stage because it causes me dysphoria that causes depression that sort of keeps me from enjoying life.