Hi everyone

[Kelly1ca]

I'm new to all this. I'm a 50years old member of the Canadian military. I'm retiring this summer. I have always considered myself to be gay and  just came to terms with that about 4 years ago and am still in the closet at work. When not at work I have always wore panties. I'm just comfortable wearing them. lately I have started wearing bras and stockings. I have just come to the idea  that I might be transgender. I have always been more comfortable around women even as a kid most of my friends were girls. I was never one that enjoyed sports or other similar activities. I have started buying women's cloths and footwear and have ordered a wig ( since my hair is short due to the military). This weekend I finally dress completely as a women and I was in heaven. I have told my Doctor now I am looking for some counselling.

[goliard]

Did you had a wish earlier in life that you want to be a girl, or at least different as you are?
I know something iust right for my whole life starting to wish to be a girl arround 7. it took me another 20 years to follow that wish cause it did never go away.

[Kelly1ca]

Something seemed to be missing or wrong in my life. I continuously pushed my self to a more masculine way of living. I think my reasoning on Joining the military and being a construction Engineer. The  whole time though something seemed wrong. Not only were most of my friends girls but I felt more comfortable in the kitchen than in the garage ( So to speak).

[V M]

Hi Kelly 

Welcome to Susan's Place    Glad to have you here, join on in the fun

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Hugs

V M

[JeanetteLW]

  Hi Kelly,

  I'm Jeanette, 64,mtf and by special self apointing, an unofficial greeter for Susan's Place. Yup I did it all by myself.
Anywho, I'd like to welcome you to Susan's Place. ((hug)) yup you get one of those too. Come on in Kelly, come in and have a chair. We're glad to meet you and glad to have you here.

  From what you've told us I think your telling you doctor your feeling and seeking a gender therapist to discuss it with further can be a big help to you. You sound as though this behavior of dress up was exciting and nice for you it is a fairly new thing. If it is pretty new then I would high suggest you talk with a therapist and explore those feelings. I know you said you wear panties when not at work and have done so for awhile now. However it also sounded kind of new in that it's only been several years. I am not saying you are not trans, no not at all, But most of the folk I've met have a long history of such behavior and feeling of things not being quite and a longing for female things and indeed a longing to be female. A gender therapist can help you sort it all out.
  I am glad you found Susan's. It is a good place for all who have trans leanings to come and talk about it. There are many here that will help you and give you support in things you are having trouble with but we are medical professionals, nor are we gender therapists. We are people just like you that have gone through or are going through our issues just the same as you. We''l give you help, hold your hand and make recommendations based on our personal knowledge of thought.
  Anyway welcome Kelly.

  Hugs,
   Jeanette