Height & HRT (MtF)

[femfem]

I am 5'6 (or 5'5, not too sure) and I am thankful for my height. I used to want to even shorter but I don't mind it anymore, I just accept that I'm slightly taller than average for a girl here. And everyone is getting taller nowadays in my country.

Exactly!!

[staciM]

There's no humble bragging, at least not intentionally​. I think most on here just live in a very different world than I do, and my overwhelming privilege shines through​ most of my posts. I just live as a regular girl, and thus think much more like a cis person than a trans person. But, insight is still insight, even if it offends someone. Also, I don't feel the need to prove myself to anyone on a website, so my words certainly don't constitute bragging---and I know what my intention was better than anyone.

K.C.

Lol, omg!  So now your thoughts are more "authentic" as well?  Do you even realize when you're doing it? 

K.C., this comes from a place of authentic compassion.  I've come across some of your posts in the past and I think you have just as many "trans" concerns and issues as many of us.

Mod Edit- no judging or attacking another persons trans activities please TOS 9 and 10.

[Mariah]

Okay folks, lets please be understanding of others and how they move about their transitions and lives. We may not agree with it, but judging or attacking them for it is against TOS 9 and 10. Lets be understanding of others and all the rules. Thanks
Mariah

[Arctophile117]

I will likely get reprimanded for this, and I honestly don't care because I went online to try and find s bunch to associate with since the few like me I've met locally take everything out of proportion as well. But StaciM, she has said NOTHING derogatory to you. She has spoken HER opinion, and I for one value it as I have both hairline AND height issues that made me hold out for so long. HEARING someone else state they would have also reconsidered it actually HELPS me feel not alone, and I'm willing to bet I'm not alone here in that. You are outright attacking her only because you've heard something you don't like. Well, guess what? I fought for everyone's right to their opinion, whether or not I personally like those opinions, and what you're doing to her is appalling. Furthermore, the person who just spoke up grouping everyone in on that is wrong. That girl did nothing but POLITELY defend herself. To group her in is also blaming her, and that's garbage.

Oh, and my RATHER muscular build was also a reason I held off so long. If you are offended by that as well, then yell at me for all 3 issues. I can take it. Stop attacking her, though.

[staciM]

I will likely get reprimanded for this, and I honestly don't care because I went online to try and find s bunch to associate with since the few like me I've met locally take everything out of proportion as well. But StaciM, she has said NOTHING derogatory to you. She has spoken HER opinion, and I for one value it as I have both hairline AND height issues that made me hold out for so long. HEARING someone else state they would have also reconsidered it actually HELPS me feel not alone, and I'm willing to bet I'm not alone here in that. You are outright attacking her only because you've heard something you don't like. Well, guess what? I fought for everyone's right to their opinion, whether or not I personally like those opinions, and what you're doing to her is appalling. Furthermore, the person who just spoke up grouping everyone in on that is wrong. That girl did nothing but POLITELY defend herself. To group her in is also blaming her, and that's garbage.

Oh, and my RATHER muscular build was also a reason I held off so long. If you are offended by that as well, then yell at me for all 3 issues. I can take it. Stop attacking her, though.

I wouldn't be offended that you held off, but if you weren't muscular and came into a thread and said you wouldn't because of it, I would be.

You defend people's right to an opinion but it's not ok for me to express me being offended by it?

See my perspective.....

Would it be ok for a 30 year old to state that if they were 50, they wouldn't consider transitioning because that's just too old?  How would that make a fragile 55yo OP feel?

Would it be ok for a medium build woman to state that it they were muscular they wouldn't consider transitioning because that's just too bulky?  How would that make a fragile muscular OP feel?

Would it be ok for someone with a perfect hairline to state that they wouldn't consider transitioning if they had a receding hairline because woman don't ever have them?  How would that make a fragile OP with a receding hairline feel?

What about a beautiful young easily passable woman stating they wouldn't transition if they were ugly....how would that make a fragile OP feel that is unsure and lacking confidence about their looks feel?

Let me take it a step further....what if someone created a thread with severe depression and mental issues and someone without those came into the thread and suggested that if they had those issues they wouldn't or shouldn't transition?  How would the OP take that?  Would it be helpful advice/opinion or possibly VERY damaging to the recovery process?

If my approach was incorrect, I apologize if it was misunderstood, but these examples are similar to how that opinion felt and why I defended my stance.

[Arctophile117]

Yes, it would be (to ALL of your scenarios), so long as it's in regard to what THAT PERSON  would do, just as Femfem did. It does help some people feel understood and not alone in those fears or considerations, and as if someone is listening and therefore cares. I would have defended you just as I defended her had it been you instead of her. What would have placed her in the moral wrong is if she said YOU shouldn't. But what she expressed is what SHE would have done in that scenario. See what I'm saying?

[staciM]

Yes, it would be (to ALL of your scenarios), so long as it's in regard to what THAT PERSON  would do, just as Femfem did. It does help some people feel understood and not alone in those fears or considerations, and as if someone is listening and therefore cares. I would have defended you just as I defended her had it been you instead of her. What would have placed her in the moral wrong is if she said YOU shouldn't. But what she expressed is what SHE would have done in that scenario. See what I'm saying?

We can agree to disagree but I don't see any of those as appropriate scenarios to comment on.  In my view, even if it's a technically "valid" opinion that is given, it can be damaging to someone that is specifically struggling or having doubts.  It's always mentioned that this is a support site, and having a strong opinion (enough to not even transition) against what you are doubting or concerned with, isn't supporting at all, it's damaging.....in my opinion.

Let's say you were having real doubts and fears about your receding hairline to the point of it it possibly causing you not to transition.  I don't see how me (that doesn't have that issue) coming into your thread saying that I would never transition if I had a receding hairline helps you (even if it's a valid opinion).....unless you're looking for excuses not to transition.....but that's another matter.   I think we can assume we are looking for support to transition, rather than excuses not to.

If you feel otherwise, that's your view, but I don't share it.

[Arctophile117]

https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,222777.msg1972894.html#msg1972894

What you're doing is blaming Femfem for doing FOR the OP, what Raell did FOR Emily in this post. There is a difference between "offense" and "disliking." I dislike what Raell said. However, I can't take offense because there are cases where she is right, and Emily should be aware of the risks involved to make an informed decision, and to prepare for the negative.

What Femfem said to the OP, I dislike. Not because it's offensive, but because the topic is uncomfortable. But again, I can't take offense because it's what SHE would have done. And again, it can help people feel not alone in that fear.

People are going to say things that make you uncomfortable. Things aren't ALL pleasant, and trying to treat it like it is will leave some people mulling over many things because they'll feel as if nobody wants to hear it, therefore doesn't care. Get off your high horse. If this forum is going to condone quieting someone because what they say causes someone discomfort, then it's going to help hold our "community" back.

The whole point of tackling the uncomfortable issues is to work through them.

[Artesia]

Could we please drop it.  Agree to disagree and walk away.

It took me forever to get past the what if's and fear of things not looking right as I go.  It almost took as much time for that as it did for me to admit that I was the wrong me.

[Arctophile117]

It took YOU forever. This person needs support in it. And I as well. In case you want to go there.

[J2J]

Thanks for the replies everyone, think I am going to lock this thread now.