Any advice on picking a name?

[GameDame]

Hiiiiiii!

New to both the site and my identity as a woman.  I've only fully realized that I'm trans for the past few months, and I'm still in the first baby steps towards a transition - and part of that is finding a new name.

I've brainstormed and scanned name lists and thought it through, but I haven't hit on a name that really feels right.  Some are too conventional, others are too exotic, some just seem silly or contrived.  How did you guys/gals pick out a name that suited you?

[Amanda_Combs]

I would recommend as close as possible to the way mothers choose for their children.  If you know what your parents would have named you, that's a good start!  Or you could use the name of some relative.  Possibly a famous person that you admire.  Or just make up something that sounds like it's from a fantasy novel if that's what will really make you happy!  [emoji16]  Just choose a name you like.


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[The Flying Lemur]

I've been talking this over with friends and relatives, and I think I've come up with something that suits me.  These were my criteria:

1) Unambiguously male.  Aaron was out, since I figured if I didn't pass people would hear "Erin" and call me "she."
2) Appropriate to someone of my age.  There are lots of adorable baby Ashtons/Aidens/Braydens/Kaydens out there, but I'm in my 40's.  I needed something that was at least heard of in the early 70's.
3) Not taken by a close friend or family member

That still leaves a lot of names to choose from. 

[itschristina]

Eventually you will come across a name and it will feel right!
Personally, I agree with the "as close as possible to your old name" thing. You and the people who know you will get used to the new name more easily and it will most likely sound very natural to you. Otherwise, what would you name be if you were AFAB?
These are the most common criteria, but if you find a name that doesn't meet them but makes you happy go ahead and make it yours!

[Elis]

I kind of stumbled across my name; I can't remember how exactly. I wanted something that suited my personality (a mix of fem and masculine). As well as something that didn't sound really common which was one of the reasons I disliked my birth name. I also wanted something not too 'out there' because I knew I wouldn't be able to handle a lot of questions about my name. But ultimately I just settled. A lot of androgynous sounding names just sound really silly so I picked one that sounded better than the others and became more used to it. I don't think it's likely a person will find a name that 100% suits them and will 100% feel 'right'.

Unfortunately I've noticed my name often gets misspelled or shortened; the latter I find most irritating because I wanted a name that couldn't be shortened unlike my birth name. But I've had to learn to just ignore the people that do that.

[Erica b]

I cant remember  how i came across mine. I did look at baby names from the year i was born and asked my mom what she would have named me had been born differently. I was trying to find somthing i liked better but i settled on erica.

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[Raell]

I'm more bigender, so chose a name based on my given name. It's somewhat male, but a bit ambiguous.
But when I'm in full male mode, I only want an unmistakably male name.

Just pick whatever name you like and change it later if you find a better choice.

[KathyLauren]

I felt much like you: I couldn't find a name I liked, for all the reasons you mentioned.  My birth name was Keith, so I started using Kathy because it sounded similar.  As I considered other names, and my wife was a never-ending source of suggestions, I started to realize that I liked Kathy because it felt like me.  I did the same with my middle name: Lawrence -> Lauren.

Not only did my new name feel like me, but it is age-appropriate, and it kept my initials the same.  I recently had to order new cheques from the bank.  Since I didn't want my old name staring at me every time I wrote a cheque, but I haven't yet completed the legal name change that the bank needs, I ordered the new ones with my initials.  Works for them; works for me.

[Rambler]

I might have settled on the name that my parents selected had I been born female, but they gave that one away to my little sister so I was out of luck there. To find my name, I started by making a list of women's names that sounded like they could fit me. First just from what would pop I to my mind, then through discussion with my therapist and consulting baby names guides. After that I started going down the list and crossing off the ones that just wouldn't work, and once I had a shortened version I started putting together different combinations until I found something that just felt right. The moment I found Liberty Autumn, I never looked back!

[Kelly1ca]

I was lucky on this. My male name is Kelvin. But everybody has always call me Kelly. So I figure that I will stick to Kelly.

[Charlie Nicki]

I also agree that picking something closer to your boy name is probably a good idea.

[Jennifer RachaelAnn]

I would suggest you sit back and think of names you think are beautiful, or an amalgamation of your name if you had been born correctly. I asked my father once what my name had been if I had been born female. He said I would have been named Rachael Ann. I liked that a lot. And Jennifer is a name that I have always loved. Allison is right up there, so I considered going with Jennifer Allison. But there was too much of a draw with Rachael Ann. So I combined the two, and lo and behold, here I am. Jennifer RachaelAnn. It all just boils down to preference. Good luck.

[GameDame]

Wow, guys, thanks for all the advice! 

I've considered the two easiest options (feminizing my given name or using the feminine name my parents would have given me), but my problem is my parents are.....not very creative. XD  The first method gives me Danielle, the second Mary-Yen ('Yen' pronounced 'In'; I'm half vietnamese). 

Mary-Yen would make a neat middle name (and has the added benefit of giving my parents something positive to grab onto when I come out) but requires too much explanation for a first name; and I've never liked how bland Daniel/Danielle feels to me (nothing wrong with those names, I just personally never liked them). 

The first name that popped into my head was Layla - and I really like it.  It's unusual but not diva-ishly-exotic, and it's a modified form of 'Lilith', who has been a personal hero of mine since before I even knew I was a woman  .  It literally means 'night woman', which fits me really well - I'm mostly nocturnal by nature, and have an appreciation for sexuality that I suspect won't be dampened much when hormone therapy cools my sex drive.

It just...I'm afraid it sounds like a stripper name. XD  So I've been casting around for alternatives that fit as well or better.  Maybe I'm just being insecure, I dunno.

[kylen kantari]

I went through a lot of the methods that everyone else has suggested when I was trying to find my name. My parents said they would have named me Daniel if I had been born a boy. But that name is super common, I swear one in every five guys is named Daniel in my generation. And as my female name is also super common, I really don't want to go through that again.

If I had been given my sister's name, I would definitely have gone with the masculine version of it as I just really like that name anyway, but my female name has no way of masculinizing it. I then thought about using the name I had picked out for if I ever have a son. I really liked the name Kyle, or to make it less common, Kylen. I had this name picked out for about a month, (and signed up on this site with the name) but it just never felt quite right.

Eventually started going through name websites, looking at the lists of names for the year I was born and a few years around it. I made a list of every name that I liked and tried saying each out loud a few times, then crossing out the ones that didn't feel right. Eventually I found one that when I said it, it was just "that's it, that's my name." By the way my name is Isaac.

Your name is an important part of your new self, there's no need to rush it. Take all the time you need to find one that fits. You can also look up names by meanings or ethinic origins on some of those name websites if that's important to you.

Good luck!

[Sinclair]

I think a name change should incorporate part of your past and build on the that. So, slight changes to your birth name makes sense to me. My birth middle name is Sinclair and since it has always been part of me, but is gender neutral, it seemed perfect to be my true female name. 

[femfem]

Hiiiiiii!

New to both the site and my identity as a woman.  I've only fully realized that I'm trans for the past few months, and I'm still in the first baby steps towards a transition - and part of that is finding a new name.

I've brainstormed and scanned name lists and thought it through, but I haven't hit on a name that really feels right.  Some are too conventional, others are too exotic, some just seem silly or contrived.  How did you guys/gals pick out a name that suited you?

Lol I think we all go through phases of wanting to choose names that cis people would consider a bit "over the top".  Some of us even follow through, and couldn't care less about what cis people think; I'm not one of those people, which has been good since like a trillion people say my name on a daily basis.

My birth name was extremely common for males in my age group (right up there with Jacob), so I knew I didn't want such a popular name as a girl.  Something like "Michelle" or "Hannah" (two more common female names that come to mind for me) would have been way too typical for someone as oh-so unique as myself (lol).

First, I tried out the name Allison, but I learned that it didn't fit with me at all---so that lasted like not even a month.  A good number of people had been calling me [insert name here] (shortened version of Allison), so I actually went by that for a very long time.  However, then I became rather well-known in the drag scene, and I was using [insert name here lol] as my stage name.  That definitely precluded it ever getting to be my legal name because I'd prefer employers not be able to Google me and see me drunk-singing on stage.

So, my thought process was: "Darn it---[insert name here] was such a beautiful name!!! And now it's tarnished, even if it did help me pay the bills!!! I need to pick a name that has the same 'feel' as that name I used to go by."

So, I tried Claire very briefly---totally didn't work for me and didn't feel right at all.  I then considered Alcyone. but no one could pronounce the dang thing---so a very close friend of mine eventually started shortening it to "Cye", which became my legal middle name since no one can pronounce that either.  I wound up, after much thought (and banging my head against the wall), with three  top-contending names that were similar in feel to the name that eventually became tarnished by my performances: Nikki, Brooke, and my now-legal first name. Lol. In other words, it's a-okay to be clueless about your name.  The name will eventually find YOU haha.

K.C.

[Sinclair]

Eventually you will come across a name and it will feel right!
Personally, I agree with the "as close as possible to your old name" thing. You and the people who know you will get used to the new name more easily and it will most likely sound very natural to you. Otherwise, what would you name be if you were AFAB?
These are the most common criteria, but if you find a name that doesn't meet them but makes you happy go ahead and make it yours!

BTW, luv your profile pic ... it's very cute!

[Charlie Nicki]

0  Mary-Yen would make a neat middle name (and has the added benefit of giving my parents something positive to grab onto when I come out) but requires too much explanation for a first name; and I've never liked how bland Daniel/Danielle feels to me (nothing wrong with those names, I just personally never liked them). 

We got the same name lol...Well in Spanish the feminine version of Daniel is Daniela/Daniella. It'll be my name whenever I transition

[GameDame]

Daniela's definitely better!  But yeah I go by my last name even as a guy because there's soooooo many Daniels out there. XD

Thanks again for all the advice, girls!  And you lovely gentlemen who've responded as well. <3