Name change and coming out to work.

[Mikka55]

My paper work and photocopied documents for name change is completed,  I just need to send it to the gov office. 
Now what is the best approach for telling my company that I am transitioning?  Should I tell them once I get my approval for name change? 
How much should I tell them? 
Can I tell​ them that,  I went through the process of a name change,  this is my new name and bank info for direct deposit,  also letting the company know that I am in the process of transitioning. Is it ok If I only let management know for now? 

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[ainsley]

I am not sure what country you are in, but in the USA it is always best to start by having a conversation with the Human Resources department before doing anything.  They can guide you from there.   When I did it, I went in and spoke to them about a hypothetical situation. lol  I work for a very conservative company and did not want to lose my job.  They've since added SRS to our insurance coverage.    Took a few years of lobbying, but they did it!

Start with HR Dept.

[Sarah.VanDistel]

Hi Mikka!
I'm still on a much earlier stage than you so zero experience about that, but one interesting idea I read was to talk to the head of Human Resources. In principle, they are in an optimal position to help you inform whoever you want, with your chosen timing, as well as with the more practical and bureaucratic matters (business cards, name in companie's phone list, name on corporate web site, etc). Here in Belgium there's a very nice little guide about those matters, published by the our Federal Government (Institute for the equality of women and men), but it's only available in Dutch and French (here's the link if want: http://igvm-iefh.belgium.be/nl/publicaties/gids_ter_begeleiding_van_transgenders_op_het_werk)

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[Mikka55]

Alright then,  Looks like ill have to ask my managers for the hr e-mail.  I mean like I have heard people from my area that it takes like 3 weeks to process every for a name change.  I guess once I hand in my name change forms I can let hr know that I am transitioning and getting my name changed. I feel thats the best approach

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[vicki_sixx]

My colleagues all know I am trans, they've seen the pics and I've discussed dysphoria, HRT and voice training with them yet still, the thought of turning up as Vicki scares the hell out of me.

[Georgette]

My experience is always different then today.

Did a lot of preliminary work done first (74-76), grow hair to shoulders, Electrolysis, HRT for a year.  Told family of my intentions in 76.

Got my name change (court order) in NOV 76.  Went to work (in DEC 76) to tell of that and of my need to work for the RLE.  Had to get new work ID and Government security ID, had a Top Secret clearance and you don't hide stuff from them.  Security already knew of my TS from when I was in military.

Met with local managers and HR people.  NO eMail or stuff yet.  Had to send many typewritten letters to doctors and HR to get permission to start working as female.  Finally started to work as female in MAY 77, SRS in SEP 77.  Then everything was Legal and Kosher than.

Did not keep any records of much from then, so can't relate how everyone from work reacted.  I figure if it was bad, I would remember.

[Mikka55]

Here goes the 30% of my doubt about my name change.   I know what I want,  I know my name that I want,  why am I afraid to be judged.... once I get my name change.  I know getting the name change will only make my dysphoria lessen.  I want to me Mika but im too male-ish ughhh.  Advice?

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[ainsley]

If you want to be Mika, then do it.  Let them judge.  There will be many people that respond well to it and those will be the ones that matter in your life.

[EmmaLoo]

They will absolutely judge. The question is how prepared you are to handle it. It really does help when you HR dept and direct management has a chance to prepare and understand what it means to support you during the transition. Don't assume they understand, it may take some outside training. You don't need to compromise who you are to work with your company in creating a productive, long lasting and safe work environment. Be a part of that process.

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[Mikka55]

So how much should I tell HR and management? 

Dear, HR and Food and Bev managers 
My name is (......) I am currently transitioning from male to female,  I prefer the pronoun They/Them,  for now I would like to keep this information confidential and with the management team only,  at least for now. 
I want you all to know this will not affect the way I work,  and my performance at work.   
If there are any questions you want to ask,  I will try to answer them as much to my ability .
Thank You for your understanding. 
From: (Legal name now).

does that sound...good enough?  not too much detail,  but enough detail. 

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[Charlie Nicki]

I work in HR so definitely talk to HR about it, we know what to do , also you might consider talking to your manager after you've spoken to HR (so they got your back in case your manager isn't understanding).

[Gertrude]

I work in HR so definitely talk to HR about it, we know what to do , also you might consider talking to your manager after you've spoken to HR (so they got your back in case your manager isn't understanding).

It's funny. I work for a public university with 23k+ employees and there's nothing in the staff manual about transitioning and nothing on the benefits site about trans health benefits. I had to ask hr to find out they have no policies regarding transitioning and starting this year they will cover hormones. Of course I told them what I thought.


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[Charlie Nicki]

So how much should I tell HR and management? 

Dear, HR and Food and Bev managers 
My name is (......) I am currently transitioning from male to female,  I prefer the pronoun They/Them,  for now I would like to keep this information confidential and with the management team only,  at least for now. 
I want you all to know this will not affect the way I work,  and my performance at work.   
If there are any questions you want to ask,  I will try to answer them as much to my ability .
Thank You for your understanding. 
From: (Legal name now).

does that sound...good enough?  not too much detail,  but enough detail. 

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Hmmm I think a call or a face to face meeting would be better. They might have questions, and it's probably easier to understand you and be empathetic with you if they know where you're coming from...An e-mail seems very impersonal IMO.

[Charlie Nicki]

It's funny. I work for a public university with 23k+ employees and there's nothing in the staff manual about transitioning and nothing on the benefits site about trans health benefits. I had to ask hr to find out they have no policies regarding transitioning and starting this year they will cover hormones. Of course I told them what I thought.


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Here in my company we don't have a transgender policy per se, but we do have a diversity/ no discrimination policy. We basically handle each case judging by good sense and based on this policy. We actually had a transgender female hired recently, and I only found out she was trans when doing the background check since her legal name is still her male name. I'm very proud of the way it was handled by the ones who were involved, it's confidential (that's how she wanted it) and nobody but 4 people, who are involved in hiring and payroll, know about it.

It also makes me feel positive about me transitioning at work.

[EmmaLoo]

You bring up a good point abput background checks. Most employers do them when hiring these days and to various degrees. If you've changed all of your legal docs, is there information aggregated from other sources that would be of concern?

This would helpful for people to understand.

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[Charlie Nicki]

You bring up a good point abput background checks. Most employers do them when hiring these days and to various degrees. If you've changed all of your legal docs, is there information aggregated from other sources that would be of concern?

This would helpful for people to understand.

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Hard to say because it varies in every country and also background checks differ. But for example, even if you changed your legal name, a very simple work history verification (when you call past employers to verify this person's affiliation to them) might let you know the person's old name if they changed it after working in that particular place. Companies usually have an internal database and the person's record won't be updated unless they still work there, so they'll show up under their old name.

[Gertrude]

Here in my company we don't have a transgender policy per se, but we do have a diversity/ no discrimination policy. We basically handle each case judging by good sense and based on this policy. We actually had a transgender female hired recently, and I only found out she was trans when doing the background check since her legal name is still her male name. I'm very proud of the way it was handled by the ones who were involved, it's confidential (that's how she wanted it) and nobody but 4 people, who are involved in hiring and payroll, know about it.

It also makes me feel positive about me transitioning at work.

I'd prefer some written policy on it, even if it just says, contact HR. The problem with where I work is that there's too much latitude in how some things are done such that there are times that the exceptions exceed the policy in size. It's seems like that if they made things consistent, and encompassing, they're afraid they'd be held to it. We have too many autonomous islands...for instance, a trans man that works in my department went to the university undergrad and was a student worker. He was fired as a student worker because her cis female boss didn't like he was using male pronouns and refused to acknowledge him as such. He should have reported it, but didn't. This was in 2009. Not that long ago. I don't think that would fly today, but it's disheartening.


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[Mikka55]

Alright I think a direct call to HR is a better approach.   Once I get the name approved,  also I handed in my forms today to the gov.  About being "fired" I am worried about that.  I have a few weeks to figure everything out.   Just saying I work in a sports arena..if I get "let go" its gonna be big news if I sue.

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[Tommi]

I started at a new company at the beginning of April. Luckily, I was able to easily find the corporate LGBT policies along with specific training on transgender issues. Along with checklists for timelines and where you need to change your listed gender. 100% score from HRC. I hope your place of employment is as supportive!

--
"You do realize, this means you get to do character creation & the newbie zone all over again? "