I goofed.. but I won't do it again

[Gracie]

It seems the greater goof was posting a mistake here so hopefully others won't make the mistake I did, but since it turned into a piling on kind of thing I'll just help someone cope with what happened with me if and when it happens.

[Ember Lewis]

The rule I use in my life is never directly say that you are trans. I had this tested in my Social Service Class when we where talking about trans people, I just couldn't keep my mouth shut and spoke out about the issue. No one has treated me different since then, but I did say that I know some transgendered people and know how hard it is for them. I have never said that I am trans and never will, I am a woman and ya I have some deformities to deal with but that does not make me less of a woman. I don't know how old you are but it is harder for older people to adjust sometimes, I try to say "I am a strong independent woman" every night before I go to bed. I don't need to be reminded that I'm a woman but I do need to be reminded that I am strong and independent. May be something like that will help you

[Steph]

I transitioned at work so there was no need to tell the employees.  However, I have never told any of the many new employees who have been hired since then.  Now I'm not so naive that to think that the older employees don't talk to the new ones, but I don't let that concern me, as it hasn't been a problem.

Like others here, I would never tell employees, it's none of their business.

Steph

[Kate]

Don't feel bad, I almost did the same exact thing...

We hired a new woman recently, and a coworker referred to me as HE and HIM to her a number of times. Naturally, I assumed I'd been exposed, and I've been SO tempted to ask her if she'd figured me out BEFORE I was exposed (I'm still a BIT insecure about my passing ability, lol).

But I've spoken with her since then, and I swear she still doesn't know. I kept thinking back now about how awkward it would have been if I'd started talking about it, assuming she knew, only to realize I'd just outed myself.

Sooooo....

My rule is to NEVER bring up the subject myself. Never. That's terribly difficult for me, as it goes against my nature to not explain myself (more insecurities), but it's served me well so far. If someone asks politely (hasn't happened yet), I'll discuss it - to a point. But no justifying, no mention of "birth defects," or transsexualism, or GID, or being born this way, or... whatever. No, just "Yep, I transitioned a few months ago and I'm Kate now." IMHO, the more we "educate" people, the less normal we seem to them. The more we describe ourselves as having a "condition" or "birth defect," the more different and odd we seem. But if we focus on the facts ("I'm xxx now"), people seem to take it more in stride, as you give them nothing to question or argue with.

~Kate~

[Enigma]

IMHO, the more we "educate" people, the less normal we seem to them. The more we describe ourselves as having a "condition" or "birth defect," the more different and odd we seem. But if we focus on the facts ("I'm xxx now"), people seem to take it more in stride, as you give them nothing to question or argue with.

I think that's so true.  The more we try to explain, justify, etc the more insecure it makes us sound.  Its like animals "smelling fear", if we come across as insecure people are bound to question our motives more and our transitions will be seen as less legitimate on some level.

I think what I'm saying is if we don't accept ourselves as just "Kate" (in this case) with no exceptions, neither will anyone else.