Hugs, support, and words of encouragement needed

[Rena-san]

Hey, so I'm writing as an update to this post that I wrote quite a while back. If you care to see it you can look at it here:
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,198019.msg1761040.html#msg1761040

In short, I ended up legally marrying this woman. She married me knowing fully what I was and what she was getting into. And I suppose that I married her also knowing what she was and what I was getting into...well she cheated on me...again. Didn't even have the nerve to tell me to my face when I finally found out about it. She was with this guy for a good two months. Drama after drama ensued. There was even a point where I allowed her to live at our house and I moved back in with my parents. Came to find out that she was allowing the guy to stay there with her...sleeping in our house, in our bed. Eventually she broke up with this guy and stayed single for like a whopping day. Now she is with another man and posting all sorts of hateful things about me on Facebook and about how wonderful this new guy is compared to me. Needless to say, I am very hurt. And just to show you how low my self-esteem is...I still want her back. I want to be loved so bad. I love her so much. I just want to be held and hold her again. I want to go on adventures, have someone to talk to, to go shopping with, to cook and eat with... I am a sad and sorry pathetic excuse for a human being.

Any words of wisdom..besides f-ing "let it be," would be sorely needed.

[ainsley]

If you truly want her back, and it sounds like you really do, then do whatever you have to in order to make that happen.  Don't let it be.  Life is too short, IMHO.  If you want it (her), go do what it takes to make that happen!  Especially if your self esteem is not so high you won't take the needed steps to get her...now is the time to strike.  If, after all efforts possible it does not and cannot happen, then, and only then, can you walk away knowing it is lost.  Else, fight for what you want to have.  That is my opinion.