Article: staying alive when you're suicidal

[Asche]

I ran across this article by a blogger whose blog (bellejar.ca I've loved:

If You're Suicidal, Staying Alive Is The Most Selfless Thing You Can Do

By Anne Thériault
theestablishment.co
April 26, 2017


"We talk about how suicide is 'selfish,'" a friend said to me a few weeks ago. "But that means that people who are suicidal but struggling to live are doing something incredibly selfless, every day. Why don't we talk about that?"


As someone who has dealt with with suicidal ideation on pretty much a daily basis, I felt like the article really spoke to me.  (At least, the first part.)  So often, it's a struggle just to get through the day and put one foot in front of another, and I find myself wishing I could just go to sleep and never wake up.  There are good times, when I feel like, "I'm so glad to be me!", but I think I spend more time the other way.

One of the things that hurts is that in our society it's not acceptable to tell people that this is how you feel.  There's this "OMG, she's going to off herself today" reaction and people stop listening to you because they're so busy looking for clues that you're about to actually do it.  Even though I keep saying, I've been living with this for over 50 years and didn't do it back when I was a child living in Hell, I'm not going to do it now.

So I've learned not to tell anyone, which is a barrier between me and the rest of humanity.

Which is kind of where this all started in the first place.  (The barrier; feeling like a Martian or a Monster.)

[AlyssaJ]

Asche, thanks for sharing and I hope that you've found that here it's ok to express that you're feeling this way and no one is going to judge or anything. So many of us, myself included, have been in that same dark place, struggling day to day to just exist.  I've been there, I continue to watch my wife struggle with it too, but the thing is you're still here and that's sooooooo important and an accomplishment you should be proud of. In another thread I talked about a recent bout I had, the one thing I've been able to do since is really recommit myself to rising above this, proving I can be strong and proving I can be the woman I know I am.  I hope you're able to get there too.

We're all here for you anytime you need.  If you need a more private setting, send me a PM, I'm always willing to listen or talk.