Bigender and New Here-Where to go for Info??

[Coyotesdawn]

Hi,

My name is Chenee (well, Chene is preferred when gender neutrality is necessary).  I identify as bigender (woman and non-binary), and am quite possibly neurologically intersex.  It's a complicated situation that I have spent the past 3 years trying to piece through, with no definite conclusions about where I am and how to proceed given my situation.

Anyway, I have come here with the hope of starting round 2 of serious self-education.  I want to learn more about what it means to be bigender, and to find what readings and resources out there speak to my experiences.

We are poorly represented in the trans community and make up a small minority within the trans* circle, to say the least.  That has made finding narrations of relatable experiences, scholary works, etc extremely hard to find.

To anyone who has any pointers, can guide me to the right sub-forums, or who also identifies as bigender and wants to tell their story, your help is much appreciated! 

 

[Mikka55]

Hello Chene,  welcome to the forum.  I am currently on hrt and doing a mtf transition slowly.  I am non-binary/gender fluid.  Some days I am agender (no-gender)  and other days I am female,  but some days i am both,  and sometimes one or the other.   I still dress more tighter fit in general and the the feminine style. 
Story wise,  I grew up always wanted to be a women,  but its not everyday I feel feminine,  some times i'm just what ever.   
Then once the topic of non-binary came up a few years ago I was like oh... ok... Its starting to make sense,  hearing from other people's experience,  even tho everyone's experience is different. 
So that's my story.

Sent from my Nexus 6P using Tapatalk

[Dena]

Welcome to Susan's Place. Unfortunately we don't have much posted about about gender fluid though we have several members who fit into that category. I have a few links I saved along the way that you may find useful. Personally, I was transsexual but I have learned something about bi gender/gender fluid and I am willing to share what I know with you.

https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,202966.0.html

https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,201219.0.html

https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,196073.0.html

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[VeronicaLynn]

Hi Chene!

I sometimes identify as bigender, when my fluidity takes me there...

I agree there aren't a whole lot of resources out there for bigender or genderfluid people.

The short version of my story is that I knew I was transgender when I was a kid, but circumstances made me create a slightly androgynous male persona as a teenager, though this was still not enough for the corporate world, and was forced to pretend to be something I totally wasn't, and wasn't even very good at doing this...where I am now is what to do with this? I actually like the androgynous male persona I had when I was younger, and I was fairly popular also, though as a kid I really just wanted to be a girl...

[V M]

Hi Chene 

Welcome to Susan's Place    Glad to have you here, join on in the fun

Hugs

V M

[Coyotesdawn]

@Mikka55

Thank you and it was nice to hear about your experience too.  I wish there were other agender narratives out there, and I am glad you shared a bit of your story.

But I guess my question concerns how you define being agender exactly? 
For me, it's a rare but serious problem where my brain's map of my body essentially totally shuts down, causing a near complete dissociation from most of my body, and especially the regions manipulated by sex hormones.
I am aware that this is probably not the experience most people who identify themselves as agender relate to (and I hope not because it's quite painful).

I suppose genderfluidity does fit my experience as well, but I have conflicts with the label only because some use it to refer to a fluctuating gender identity, while others define it as a fluctuating change in desired gender expression.
For me, I am almost genderfluid in my sex identity than anything else, even though I see inner alignments with non binary genders, though not to the degree that I remain cis in my gender identity.

[Coyotesdawn]

I am non-binary/gender fluid.  Some days I am agender (no-gender)  and other days I am female,  but some days i am both,  and sometimes one or the other.   I still dress more tighter fit in general and the the feminine style. 
Story wise,  I grew up always wanted to be a women,  but its not everyday I feel feminine,  some times i'm just what ever.   

@Mikka55

Thank you and it was nice to hear about your experience too.  I wish there were other agender narratives out there, and I am glad you shared a bit of your story.

But I guess my question concerns how you define being agender exactly? 
For me, it's a rare but serious problem where my brain's map of my body essentially totally shuts down, causing a near complete dissociation from most of my body, and especially the regions manipulated by sex hormones.
I am aware that this is probably not the experience most people who identify themselves as agender relate to (and I hope not because it's quite painful).

I suppose genderfluidity does fit my experience as well, but I have conflicts with the label only because some use it to refer to a fluctuating gender identity, while others define it as a fluctuating change in desired gender expression.
For me, I am almost genderfluid in my sex identity than anything else, even though I see inner alignments with non binary genders, though not to the degree that I remain cis in my gender identity.

[Coyotesdawn]

Hi Chene!

I sometimes identify as bigender, when my fluidity takes me there...

The short version of my story is that I knew I was transgender when I was a kid, but circumstances made me create a slightly androgynous male persona as a teenager, though this was still not enough for the corporate world, and was forced to pretend to be something I totally wasn't, and wasn't even very good at doing this...where I am now is what to do with this? I actually like the androgynous male persona I had when I was younger.

Yea, I think some people, for whatever reasons, may appreciate preserving a small part of the culture they were raised in, and will want to keep that with them as part of their identity; it might be one explanation as to why folks who transition are more and more frequently identifying as non binary or genderfluid.  The extreme of that is me (I could not imagine life not being a woman)...perhaps that is why you developed your own persona too. 
Then again, many people develop personas to survive periods while they are closeted; why it remained in your case I guess only you can answer.