Hi, Princess_Jasmine, hon. This is not just the heart of a woman but of an empath as well.
I quit the church when I was sixteen and just developed my own beliefs through the years, but for some reason in later years when I was going through some very troubling times with depression, bipolar, and yet again later, throw in GID, the thoughts of suicide often came to mind.
The memories of the master of hell, *satan* and the lake of fire and little devil beings poking one with their forks came to mind and that was what deterred me enough to change my mind. Cheeeeeez whiz, reading "Dante's Inferno" in high school was also one to curl..... well uncurl my hair back then.
**Not to judge,** boy, that wasn't the easiest sport to give up. But then I have better things to do besides picking whoever's seat in hell for them. I was never aggressive or feeling the need to have revenge, I was never confrontational, *peace at any price, as I see it*, nor did I ever have the desire to physically hit someone; thought about it, maybe, but it never went further than just a thinking about it. But I was certainly guilty of wishing different stuff on them. If I had a magic wand I would hate to think how much the toad population would have grown!
Bless my trespassers, I pray they only got back what was due them in Karma.
When I first started to forgive my trespassers by prayer I would pray for them when they would get their Karma. I did my amends to those I needed to do amends to in the same manner, then did an honest one later on. Now when someone gets under my skin I just say to myself, "God bless your soul" then I make a small nodding gesture, smile and move on. Do you know how many times I said the, "May God bless!" or post a message telling them I will send prayers for different individuals here on this board? Well, sometimes I get to hurting emotionally for someone here, sometimes for some silly-ass reason, but I still say say a short prayer and go on with something else.
And yes, every day we influence someone in some way or another, whether it be in a negative or positive way, or in a great way or in a small way that may feel to you practically insignificant, but to that person, you just handed then a gold mine. I suppose that is the way we should look at it when no one appears to notice our post on the board, as some have here lately, myself included. This is the reason I started a blog, I started it in the hopes someone can pick up something useful from it and I don't expect responses unless someone finds the urge to do so. The main purpose for this blog is an attempt to teach some of my own experiences and to help others to find their own way.
Cindy