Having just 'come out' everywhere, I am a bit of a celebrity in some places, including the concert band I play in. (I play tenor sax.) I got an email from one of the newer members suggesting we get together for coffee. She said she didn't yet know many people in the band and wanted to meet me.
I wouldn't have thought I'd be the first person she'd want to meet unless my being trans was part of the story. I had all sorts of possible motivations going through my mind: did she want to deprogram me or heap fire and brimstone on me or maybe recruit me to sell Mary Kay cosmetics? But I figured I'd deal with any of those possibilities if and when they came up, and in the meantime, I'd treat the invitation at face value.
So we met at a coffee shop and had a nice chat about all kinds of stuff. She knew I'd just come from an electrolysis session, so she asked about that, and she asked a couple of questions about hormones, but the rest of the time, we talked about places we'd lived, how many cats we had, our families, and just the sort of things that you'd expect two women to talk about. The kind of conversation I have longed for all my life.
What really impressed me was realizing that I could never have had a relaxed conversation like that prior to transitioning. Two men would never have talked about that kind of stuff. Ever.
Had I been in male mode, I could never have had that conversation with a woman. There would be all the complex sub-plots in play. Is he trying to pick me up? Does she want me to make a move on her? Is her husband going to get upset that we are here talking? That would be too much pressure to have a relaxed conversation.
The only way that conversation could happen is between two women. I think I am going to like being transitioned socially.
