I know where you're coming from. I was molested when I was 10. I was ashamed and thought it was my fault. That I drove the person to do it. It took me 25 years to realize that I wasn't at fault.
Also I understand the abuse you're going thru. My mother was verbally, mentally, and emotionally abusive. I mean what mother looks their 8 year old child in the eye, and tells the child that she wished she had aborted them? And Dad.... He was a drunk and a violent one. He loved to knock me around. I finally had enough one day and when he came at me I hit him as hard as I could with a shovel. It made me feel better at the moment to take my power back, but it didn't help the situation. In fact that made it worse. He upped the anti and got more violent more often. I eventually left home and disappeared. He found out where I was and came up and stole my truck. Since it had been parked in his driveway a lot I guess that made it his, even tho I was the one that paid for it, insured it, and legally owned it. I guess that all meant nothing. It was, obviously his. He just loaned it to me on occasion.
Thankfully both my parents are dead. I don't miss either of them. I went to each of their funerals, for about 5 minutes each. I pulled up a chair and relieved myself on them, then left to celebrate. I know, I'm cold hearted as hell, but you know what? I don't care.
"Kindness to those who deserve it, instead of love wasted on ingrates."
