Yeah Hon, it is a battle between the fears and this incredibly powerful force telling you you need to be true to yourself. I can tell you my experience but of course you could be different. Once I uncapped whatever it was in me that kept me in hiding, there was no going back. I could only go forward and nothing happened soon enough for me. It is good to ramp up on the meds anyway. Allowing yourself to be slow at first, as far as presenting in public, can be good to build your confidence.
If I could give you one piece of advice about the fear, I would say "It will be scary at first, it will get gradually better, and the payoff of being regarded by others as your true self is fantastic." You will be surprised at what you are capable of. Don't fool yourself thinking, "I'll do this or that when I am less afraid." You have to progress through the fear. Kick it in the shins, then walk right past it. You will find that the world will not end when you start being visible to people. I am, what, 11 months full time and still get scared sometimes. You can't let it beat you. You have good support, use them to back you up.
Is Sweden tolerant of trans folk generally?
Moni
