Some things just have to be responded to.
Don't let it get to you, please. I think that one thing that so many of us are unprepared for is finding out what is REALLY going on in the mind of people around us. It doesn't always match the surface. It really bothered me at one point and I tried to make everyone understand. They can't, it's not even possible maybe. We have to let that go or be prepared for heartbreak.
And the article? First and foremost take nothing as fact from a convert. This is not a trans rule, but a rule for life. They may be legit, but the odds are stunningly low. We seek validation, approval or whatever someone wants to call it. The alcoholic will try to get you to take a drink, the overweight person will try to get you to eat desert and you can keep finding examples. I don't know what it is called or why we do it but it happens and it is very real. Why is it that if we take a path, do things one way, we think it's the right one for everyone. You see it in politics and religion, hell even sports. In reality it doesn't take anything from us if someone doesn't do what we do, it doesn't make us less or them more, it just makes us different. Yet people do it over and over and it can be observed if we can keep quiet, objective and still inside.
That was just an observation, I may be wrong but I have thought about it a lot.
Now this is probably less of an opinion. The word "often" means absolutely zero in that context. How often do you eat green beans? You could probably give me a by week, by month, or in the case of my boyfriend, a by year amount. Now I happen to know that if he says that he eats green beans often it really means that he had them once last year. Or was that the year before? Well, he has definitely had them more than once in his life. So we can regard all of the statement as not being fact, not being anything really other than the likelihood that it has happened at some point.
Now the part of the article? that I have personal experience in. My early life was traumatic in many ways. When I did finally think that I either needed to transition or die, I was sure that my childhood was to blame. I went through psychiatrists and psychologists like a halitosis sufferer goes through Mentos. I just wanted one that didn't push that transition was the way or medication was the way or psychotherapy was the way, but the way was to find out where it started and what it was connected to. THEN to move forward from there. Long story short, I found out that my being different was the actual reason that my father gave to the state when he turned me over to them in 1973. Now what I had to accept before I learned that was that I may never find out, that I may have had to move forward without ever knowing. What had my mind made up was that no one could offer a reasonable way to remove the dysphoria without transition. Trust me, I was not about to spend 10 years of my life in psychotherapy that was not proven effective anyway. Or be medicated when they could not say that I was mentally ill and it would not fix anything, just mask the symptoms. I tried that with alcohol once, it wasn't all that effective.
In ALL of life we look at the angles and move forward in what we perceive as the best possible direction. This is just sooooo much bigger than joining the military, getting married, going to college or buying a Mercedes in my opinion. Second guess yourself, third guess yourself, ask questions just be sure, then move forward. What else can we do? I actually had three months talking to my therapist because I had no doubts since the beginning. I tried to be sure, I tried to be safe but I never doubted. Still don't and in a way THAT frightens me a little. I have always known, even when I didn't know what it was.
I wish the best for the author, I don't think there is any malicious intent or I hope not anyway. The how good or how bad my life is comes from me, not the author of the article, the Pope, the President, my therapist or my aunt Ida. It's my responsibly not theirs and they will never care how well my life turns out more than me. If they care at all, which I am sure at least one or two of those don't.
Lol, I talk too much.
Michelle
