Still don't pass, but.....

[Artesia]

So I took a new picture for my profile today.  I know I still don't pass, but it feels so good to get to do this again.  My wife is off to a concert, so I get to dress how I feel comfortable because she doesn't have work/errands for me to do outside of the house.  Did eyeliner for the first time today, the right eye went pretty poorly, the left went so much better.  Still not comfortable enough to go out as me.

The hair on my right side decided to lay flatish today, rather than curl up like it usually does.  I seem to sweat a little while doing my makeup, which makes it a lot harder for me to do, and jacks the hair up.

My wife is still having issues with my transition, and her already present depression is making it worse, so I don't dress and do makeup as much as I want.  She loves me, but doesn't like being with a woman.  Hoping things work out as I love her!

[Dani]

Artesia,

You are beginning to look good. Are you on HRT?

[Artesia]

Yes, somewhere between 7 and 8 months.  I don't remember the actual date I started, because I am horrible at dates, but I do know it's been a while, but not near a year yet.  I believe I was 2 months at Christmas, but I may have been 3 months at that point.

[Violets]

It's a good idea to keep a photo record of your progress. If you don't think HRT is doing much, all you need to do is to look back to where you started and you'll be amazed at the difference.

That said, I've been on HRT for nearly 2 years and I still look like a smurf!

[Artesia]

That said, I've been on HRT for nearly 2 years and I still look like a smurf!

You look like Smurfette to me.

I guess, looking at the one from 2 months ago, my face is a bit more rounded now.  The hair is definitely longer.  The gut still needs to go away, stupid abusing myself with food for decades....but it tasted so good and bad habits are so hard to break.  One of these days I'll get a full body picture taken.

[Dani]

  The gut still needs to go away, stupid abusing myself with food for decades....but it tasted so good and bad habits are so hard to break.  One of these days I'll get a full body picture taken.

Artesia,

One of the first and most important things I did in my physical transition is to lose weight. I had to lose about 125 pounds to even qualify for surgery. It took about 2 years of eating mainly vegetables and very little of the sweet stuff.

We have sections on nutrition, weight loss and exercise here at Susan's Place. There is a lot of good advice here.

[Artesia]

Artesia,

One of the first and most important things I did in my physical transition is to lose weight. I had to lose about 125 pounds to even qualify for surgery. It took about 2 years of eating mainly vegetables and very little of the sweet stuff.

We have sections on nutrition, weight loss and exercise here at Susan's Place. There is a lot of good advice here.

Visited them, and found some good advice.  I am using the VA weight loss program, and physical therapy department to lose weight, and help with my issues beyond the excess weight.  Roughly 2 years ago I had a Stent placed do to my poor eating habits.  The VA Docs have been helping a lot at getting rid of the bad habits.  What they didn't do is take every food I like away from me, but gave me sensible meal plans that use my likes and dislikes as a guide.  I can eat pizza, but instead of eating the whole thing, they told me to knock it down to half or less, they prefer 2 slices I've got it down to either 3 slices or half depending on hunger level at the time.  Their system of gradual changes is reducing the cravings for stuff, while introducing healthy foods.  I can now tolerate a greater amount of vegetables than I previously could.  The PT staff gave me side exercises to help tighten the stomach area because sit ups and crunches would build the muscle under the fat and not necessarily reduced the fat there.  I actually am doing more exercises than they recommend, and have also started biking to work(Approx 3MI) every other day depending on weather, only made it 3 times so far.  I have problems with water retention, so have removed most sodium from my foods, but we haven't found the good middle ground for it yet, I am either cramping or bloating from to much water weight.

In all, I've lost roughly 40Lbs, and been stuck there for several months.  I was 317Lbs, and am now 272-275 depending on water/sodium intake for the day.  I have a Dr appointment to check another issue that I've been having, as the issue could be cancer or another GI problem, which may be causing my weight loss problems.

[Dani]

In all, I've lost roughly 40Lbs, and been stuck there for several months.  I was 317Lbs, and am now 272-275 depending on water/sodium intake for the day.

40 pounds!! Good for you!

My peak weight was 340 pounds. My biggest problem was that I was eating comfort foods. I was not eating because I was hungry. I was eating to relieve stress. And I was eating processed, calorie dense foods. I switched to more raw vegetables and the weight slowly came off.

[Cimara]

Actually you do pass. Looking at that picture I would not think you are trans. We all tend to be our own worst critics. You look good.

[Artesia]

Actually you do pass. Looking at that picture I would not think you are trans. We all tend to be our own worst critics. You look good.

Thank you!!!!

I still don't see it, and neither does my wife, but occasionally I see a bit of me peeking out.  I like that people outside my group are seeing changes.

The Doctors appointment went well, I'm scheduled for a flex sigmoidoscopy at the end of the month for a better check, but the doctor is fairly certain that nothing is horribly wrong.  He thinks it is the diet changes that have caused some of my issues, and that as the body gets used to the change it will go away.  Oh, and for the first time in 10 years my blood pressure was a touch low, even after driving, which is one of the most stressful things for me, I HATE driving and my beard.

I also managed to make it to a group session at the Indianapolis VA and met some wonderful ladies.  It's amazing how comfortable and open they were.  They invited my wife and I out to a bar/restaurant for food and drink, but I had to get my wife to her doctor to get some medicine that he had gotten for her.  Next time I'm going with them.  I found out after the meeting that my wife may have been allowed into the meeting itself, but I need to talk to the head therapist who wasn't there this time, to be sure.  Also, one of the group members who wasn't there this time, has apparently received an invite to go see the President and talk to him face to face about LGBTQ issues, which sounds AWESOME.

All in all a GREAT day!

[rainecloude]

It's so awesome to see you trying new things such as eyeliner. I'm right with you there about the sweating though! Haha!

When I was first starting out I really tried my best to get into makeup but it irritates my skin so bad and left me feeling more dysphoric when I wasn't very good at it!

Keep it up beautiful lady. You look amazing! Much love <3

[Artesia]

It's so awesome to see you trying new things such as eyeliner. I'm right with you there about the sweating though! Haha!

When I was first starting out I really tried my best to get into makeup but it irritates my skin so bad and left me feeling more dysphoric when I wasn't very good at it!

Keep it up beautiful lady. You look amazing! Much love <3

The first try for the eyeliner over one eye I had to remove as it went anywhere but where I wanted it.  The second try was a little sloppy, when I did the other eye it went on smooth and I ticked off my wife because I did it better than she does.  Probably the miniatures painting background.  The current hardest part for makeup and such is doing my right hands nail polish, as my left hand is not very steady and I'm right handed.  Also being color deficient makes seeing certain shades almost impossible for me.  I can see colors, but colors that are close look like the same color.  example for decades I would tell people that the Bears colors were blue and red, apparently it's orange.  Some light purples look pink to me, and some greens look yellow and some tan but a green light and grass appear green.

Also lesson learned, paint the nails first, do the makeup second, and turn on the bathroom fan to circulate the air.

Is it an allergy to something?  Some makeups use different ingredients so if you can avoid the ones with the allergens you are sensitive to you might be alright.  My wife has a similar problem, some makeups work for her and others make her look like a puffer fish.  The lipstick I use will make her break out in a rash, so if I wear it I can't kiss her.

[Cimara]

You will get better at makeup. It takes time to learn how to apply it. My mother taught me when I was young. Then I picked up a lot from other girls in high school. Now I watch you tube makeup videos.  Makeup is a long term learning experience as styles and trends are always changing.  I have always had the same problem with nail polish. My solution was simple. I make my bf polish the nails on my right hand.