Best way to come out?

[Britt116]

So I'm going to tell my parents (or at least my mom first) that I am transgender but I am looking for the best way to do so. I don't want to start with talking. I want to start with a letter or something but is it better to do e-mail or letter and how would I go about that? Any help appreciated... Thanks!

[Dena]

Go to our WiKi page and near the bottom of the page on the left hand side, you will find what you are after. In addition, I worked on a letter that you can find here. Gather what you need and rework the letters to say what you want.

[Charlie Nicki]

I think you need to think about the best way for you to say what you wanna say and feel good about it. One really good tip that my therapist gave me is that we need to have this conversation (or email or text) in a positive light, for example, instead of saying "I need to talk to you" or "there's something you should know" which instantly makes the other person think there's something wrong or some big tragedy in your life, change the wording to "I want you to know something about me that has made me happy" or "something positive happened to me and I want to share it with you" this will make the conversation start on a positive note and can change the perception of the other person to what you're telling them.

[Wednesday]

I think you need to think about the best way for you to say what you wanna say and feel good about it. One really good tip that my therapist gave me is that we need to have this conversation (or email or text) in a positive light, for example, instead of saying "I need to talk to you" or "there's something you should know" which instantly makes the other person think there's something wrong or some big tragedy in your life, change the wording to "I want you to know something about me that has made me happy" or "something positive happened to me and I want to share it with you" this will make the conversation start on a positive note and can change the perception of the other person to what you're telling them.u

Great tip.

Also try to strenghten bonds with your parents the most you can. Its really important to make easy to them to empathize with you. Let them feel what you feel, and give them an easy way to be on your shoes.

Best of luck!

[Claire_Sydney]

I blundered through this conversation the first dozen or so times.  Then I started to see common themes and found an effective way to get through it.

I usually use phrasing that doesn't carry any negative connotation, but establishes a bond between you:

"Can I share something personal about myself with you."

"I'm in the process of changing my gender" OR "I'm thinking about changing my gender."

I'm not a fan of letters.  I told everyone I care about face to face.  I arranged a place that is quiet where we wouldn't be interrupted, and left the time for the conversation open for as long as was necessary to answer all their questions.

Is it possible that your mum will come away from the conversation a little bit apprehensive, and will tell your dad?  My parents are highly co-dependent and share everything with each other.  I've found there is no point telling them at different times, as they always end up sharing with each other - and the conversation is much better coming from my own mouth since I can describe my experiences better to my father than my mother can second-hand.  Something else to consider, anyway.

Good luck to you!