Just tired

[RachelH]

This may seem like a silly question. Is anyone else just tired? I am physically and mentally exhausted. I just want to run away and get away from everything! Please don't get me wrong I don't mean anything negative or intend to harm myself comma but I am just tired! I don't know how else to describe it. Sometimes I feel like I just want to curl up and cry but the tears just will not come. Does any of this make sense?

[Tommi]

I feel that way about having diabetes, but not about transition (though, the decision to do something about it is reletively new). So, i can relate, but not perfectly

--
"You do realize, this means you get to do character creation & the newbie zone all over again? "

[Sarah77]

I'm exactly at the same place as you. I don't feel sorry for myself..just exhausted at trying to make my life make sense.

[RachelH]

I'm exactly at the same place as you. I don't feel sorry for myself..just exhausted at trying to make my life make sense.

Exactly!!  I finally admitted to my wife a year ago and for a while it seemed easier but the past few months it has really hit harder and made it more difficult to find a good balance. I am still pre everything and have wondered if a low does might help but I just can't seem to make the call to the doctor.

[Charlie Nicki]

Yeah today is one of those days for me. Since I started therapy I'm usually happier because I feel I'm getting closer to who I really am but on days like today I wake up and wonder "why was I born this way? Why did I get such a difficult weight to carry?" I mean, I can only imagine the stupid things straight cisgender people (especially males) worry about. Whatever they worry about, I have to worry as well but then also I got this gender situation that I need to sort out. I'm almost 30 and it kinda feels ridiculous that at this point I'm still trying to figure myself out while other cis straight people already have families, houses, cars, a job they love etc...And I'm in an eternal adolescent stage still finding myself.

Oh well, tomorrow will be a better day .

[Paige]

This may seem like a silly question. Is anyone else just tired? I am physically and mentally exhausted. I just want to run away and get away from everything! Please don't get me wrong I don't mean anything negative or intend to harm myself comma but I am just tired! I don't know how else to describe it. Sometimes I feel like I just want to curl up and cry but the tears just will not come. Does any of this make sense?

Hi PaulaLee,

Yup that's me.  I feel exhausted from all this.  I've been on low dose E for almost a year.  When I look ahead at the transition I've wanted my whole life, I just want to collapse.  All I can think about is how much work this will be, how much conflict I'll have to endure and how tired just thinking about it makes me.  I've never been much of an optimist so that probably explains some of it.

Hope you find some energy,
Paige

[Shy]

I kind of phase in and out of exhaustion. Some days everything seems fine and dandy whilst other days I feel like i'm stuck in treacle.
I actually had a chat about it with my therapist, who recommended taking a day off every now an then. Problem is I asked her, "how can I take a day off from myself?" So I just stick to the plan and wait for a shift in energy. I always bounce back eventually.
Also keep well hydrated, eat healthily and don't skimp on the sleep. Exercise also helps.

Peace and love and all that good stuff,

Sadie

[AlyssaJ]

Yes I have been there too.  Much to the detriment of my bank account, I've found that one of the ways I can deal with it is to simply do something special for myself.  A lot of times it's go shopping and get a new outfit or something.  Other times it's bigger like spending this weekend with my sisters.  Even bigger, I'm planning a trip to meet up with one of our sisters here on Susan's in July.  I've found that the more time I can spend as me not really thinking about the painful aspects of transition, the better I do overall.

[staciM]

My exhaustion right now comes from my electrolysis (with laser sprinkled in) schedule.  It seems my entire life right now revolves around the growth cycles of the hair on my face...which is ironic.

[Asche]

I spend most of my time in that place.  Almost every day, I feel like I just can't handle everything I have to do.  I just put one foot in front of the other and what gets done gets done and what doesn't get done just doesn't.  And I take a lot of mental health breaks.

The weird part is that I also have frequent episodes where I'm just so happy to be me.  Just today, as I was coming down in the elevator from yet another doctor visit in my long journey to SRS, I just started dancing in the elevator.  Or I'll sing while washing the dishes.  Sometimes at the same time that I feel too worn out to take another step.

I think in my case it's not just about gender.  Transition for me has turned out to be about dealing with all the damage that was done to me when I was a child.  I won't bore you with the details, I've posted enough about it, but the feeling that in order simply to survive I have to be more capable than I am just weighs me down until I can't move at all.  And there are a lot of periods when simply being alive hurts so much I can't understand why I'm still alive.  It takes all my resilience away.

[JMJW]

Most the time I'm too mentally drained to put make up on which makes me more mentally drained which causes a cycle.