The end of transition

[Dayta]

I think that I began my transition pretty much when I decided to start.  I had been kind of creeping up on it for several years, but it wasn't until making the appointment that the clock actually started for me.  When then, is the transition done?  In my mind, it mostly hinges on the legal document changes, as I feel like those are the things that give me the legal right to project my identity into public places, including work, travel, etc..  I decided that I wouldn't peg it to any specific sort of physical changes, such as completion of electrolysis, or some such thing.  I know plenty of cis women who get hairs removed, and who wear hairpieces, and do all of those things that tweak their appearance to how they'd like to look. 

Given that, I have a few more documents, like my health insurance and maybe my birth certificate, at which time I feel like I can declare my transition completed.  All of the other things that I may want to do, like hair removal, hair transplants, and whatever else it may be, are simply part of my evolution as a human being, and don't make me any more or less a woman.  So I'm here, literally within weeks of successfully completing my transition.

I'm curious about others' opinions on when transition is done.  Am I being a little broad in my interpretation?  Thanks for your thoughts.

Erin

[Megan.]

For me personally it's more about my internal identity. I'm less than a month full-time,  and I don't fully identify with other women yet,  though I certainly don't feel like one of the blokes either. If I ever get to the point of unconsciously relating with other women,  then I'll consider my transition complete. As for the medical stuff,  that might help,  but I don't consider it too relevant.

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[Barb99]

I'm curious about others' opinions on when transition is done.  Am I being a little broad in my interpretation?  Thanks for your thoughts.

For me it was sometime after SRS, probably around the time I had healed enough to not look like I had had surgery and dilation no longer ran my life.
I am still working on electrolysis and improving my voice but I'm far enough along on those that I just consider these to be refinements now. I completely agree with you that plenty of cis women get hairs removed and all sorts of things to improve their appearance. I'm just doing the same!

[TonyaW]

I started thinking about this and I came up with two types of transition.  Social and physical maybe?  They definitely overlap so not phases 

Physical is obvious and ends when you've gone as far as you want with the body changes.  So maybe never.

Social  to me will be over when I stop presenting as male. More than just coming out, probably the same as going full time.  Could include the legal details in that, name and gender marker change etc.,  or maybe there's a third type in legal. 





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[Michelle_P]

OK, I've been full-time about 7 months, on HRT almost a year.  I've had over 100 hours of electrolysis, and speech therapy.  I've done the legal name change, and my ID, birth certificate, credit cards, bank and investment accounts are all in my name. 

I am usually gendered correctly, particularly by people whose income depends on keeping the customer happy. I have men holding doors open for me and deferring to me.  I'm expected to step aside when men walking abreast are coming from the other direction on the sidewalk.  Many women see me as passing when at a distance. (The expressions as they get closer and take a good look are priceless!)

Is my transition done?

Nope.   Definitely not.

I still need work done.  FFS, GCS, a tracheal shave.  There are many hours of electrolysis to go.  If I step outside without the usual 25 minutes of makeup and prep, I won't pass, guaranteed (64 years in a testosterone-loaded body has this effect.)

Socially, it would be nice to be accepted as 'our friend, Michelle', rather than 'our transgender person, Michelle'.  That will take time.

Time seems to be at the center of it all.  Time to marinade this body in estrogen until it looks reasonable.  Time to wait on the surgical queue.  Time to let others who know me lose interest in the 'trans stuff' and recognize me as a fellow human being, with interests, activities, and hobbies.

Transition will take years.  Many years.  I'm actually not sure if it is ever really 'done' short of death.  The entire process of life and living is a transition and aspects of myself are all tangled up in it.

[ainsley]

For me, I felt my transition was done when I was female inside and out, and on paper in all legal aspects (mentally, physically, and legally).  I mean, I use my wife as a standard, and I have the same social female criteria as she.

[Kylo]

When I look in the mirror and see me.
When others don't look twice.
When the second puberty is over and the body parts I can't stand are removed.

[The Flying Lemur]

I think it makes sense to look at social, legal, and physical transition as different spheres.  I think I'll feel done when I'm comfortable living full-time, but the physical and legal aspects probably have to be taken care of before that can happen.

[ghostbees]

I think transition for me is never truly over. I will still need to go on T, already changed my name and have to have surgery.
I think it's over when I die. Maybe once on testosterone it'll be different or maybe I'm confusing it with the trans identity. I see transition in a prism rather as one big thing.
There are so many aspects of it so lumping it together seems a bit pointless.


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[Transdude]

For me transition was about getting to where I am.  I pass as male 100% of the time and I like the way I look. So for me transition is over. But I think it's different for everyone.

[KatieByrne]

I think for me it was at the point where i started to reliably pass on a regular basis. Like now I pass 95-98 percent of the time i'd say. I don't ALWAYS but it's rare to be noticed now (well, for THAT reason anyway lol ).

Up until my VFS 2 months ago though i think my voice would ALWAYS give me away so i'd say THAT was probably the defining moment for me when transition ended.

Even though i have to admit part of me feels like transition will never REALLY end as there is always more surgery i could undergo. I'm happy with where i'm at now though you know? like not perfect, but it feels like me.

[warlockmaker]

Transition is living, learning and experiencing. When this stops we are no longer living. Our transition never ends, what we expect in a ftm as we progress in lifes journey will change. Each day I pinch myself to make sure its not a dream, and I live each day appreciating the wonders of life. I cherish the memories of the past, live and enjoy the present and look forward to the future with hopes and dreams  I accept that I am and always will be the third gender, Im at peace and happy with that.