Hi Ashley,
Reading this thread brought a lot memories and emotions back to me. First: your cup size will be what it will be (something like your mom probably) If you have your heart set to being big and you're not after two or thee years you can always augment what grows naturally. I was a B cup at two years and a C at three. The magic of HRT will continue for up to seven years so don't rush and don't panic.
I think that is is to be expected that your wife put up some initial resistance and I doubt that she will embrace the idea for some time. Your children however will probably surprise you if you are willing to be consistent and playful. That was my experience and eventually my marriage did end, but my family did not and for that I give thanks.
Tessa had you do a thought experiment. (I have known her for a long time and pay attention, there is wisdom there) Here is another. Imagine yourself slipping into an endless gray ooze that impedes you some, but mostly just makes you very, very tired. Imagine yourself in the sunshine, bright, beautiful and learning constantly.
Those are your choices if you are trans. Living in the costume of a man is something you can do indefinitely. But the cost to your spirit may kill you. Living authentically requires that you take that leap of faith into change. My experience with low dose HRT is that it will keep you functioning but leave you bereft. I lasted six months and then went to transition doses and have never looked back.
Choosing the light is to accept risk. Huge risk.
And the reward?
To live every day that you are given on this spinning blue disk alive, aware, maybe even happy. The happy took a long time to find me, but she eventually did.
Peace Always,
JB
