One year plus HRT - Not much to see

[Phlox1]

I've read a lot of posts about how much progress some people on this forum have made since taking HRT, so I thought I would toss out my experience after being on estrogen for a year plus a few months.

My doctor started me on oral HRT and increased the dosage twice until I was on what is considered a full transitioning dosage and stayed on that for a few months.  She switched me to patches and I used them for close to 6 months, but I didn't particularly care for those so she switched me back to oral earlier this spring and I've been on them since.

The most important benefit I've noticed from HRT is that I feel really good, and actually just plain normal.  I'm satisfied being "me" and have no real desire to transition and it looks like I can just stay this way for the rest of my life.  That would really make my life a lot easier if I can do that.  I feel comfortable now wearing men's clothes, and I really no longer have that overwhelming desire to dress in female clothing.  I still do it occasionally but it's mainly because I like the way they fit, but it's not because I must do that to fulfill a need.

I've had what I would call a little bit of breast growth, but not a whole lot.  It's just enough that I shouldn't go without a shirt (which I haven't done is recent years anyway), but not enough to need a bra or be noticeable under male clothes.  So I guess I'm really quite lucky.

I've read any number of times about the effects of estrogen on your brain.  I'm not real sure what those effects are because I don't think I've noticed anything there.  I'm not saying it doesn't happen, but I haven't experienced anything.  My brain works just like it always has and I still enjoy doing all the things I've always done and still have the same interests.

There's not a day that goes by that I don't wonder if maybe I'm not really trans at all.  Many transgender people know absolutely for certain that they are, but I still question it daily.  But I feel absolutely great on estrogen and have no plans to quit.

Anyway, my experience is probably quite a bit different than most I read about on here so I thought it would be nice to share mine.

I wish everyone the best and hope your experiences on HRT are everything you want them to be.

[Brooke]

Thanks for sharing! It's perfectly okay to question whether you're transgender or not. Please remember that gender falls upon a spectrum. Transitioning does as well.

I think the main reason most end up fully socially and physically transition is they still haven't gotten to that "normal" feeling you mentioned.

As far back as four years I felt female. Upon reflecting on your comment on questioning if you are trans or not, I recall a comment I read in a different thread fairly recently here.

"It never even occurs to most people, is never even an issue that there is an incongruity between ones assigned sex and their gender. The fact that you are questioning it, is indicative that your gender is not completely aligned with the body you were given".

What I take from that is the fact that I am thinking about it means there's something to address. The other point from that statement I take is that gender is definitely not binary.

I say if you are content and feel normal (finally woot!), by all means stick with what's working. If at some point in the future that is no longer the case you can take additional steps in whatever direction you feel is needed.

This too is true for hormones and physical changes. If you decide that you're not seeing the changes you want definitely address that. What comes to mind is checking hormone levels and seeing if your Testosterone is properly suppressed and your Estridiol levels are in the female range. If that's the case and you're still stuck, definitely reach out here, as well as try and get a second medical opinion on the physical development.

I will still say it's huge to get to the point of being comfortable in your own skin. Congrats!


~Brooke~

[Phlox1]

Thank you Brooke, for the nice reply.  As you said, the fact that I'm even questioning the possibility of being trans probably means that I'm not completely in the "binary" male side.  I'm willing to bet that the average Joe or Jill never questions their gender identity or sexual orientation.  I suspect that most things in life are not completely binary.

The most important thing to me is that I feel really great.  Especially mentally, but also physically.

[rmaddy]

Phlox,

Somewhere around the 4-5 month period on HRT I just started to feel well.  Curiously, it was in Nov/December, at the time where I usually get hit hard by Seasonal Affective Disorder.  Within 6-8 months, I had come to the conclusion that I wanted to continue HRT indefinitely.    My body changes weren't dramatic, but I enjoyed them--even found myself cheering for them a bit (and felt a little disappointed that they were so limited).  Sexual tension disappeared from my social interactions.  I found this to be a big plus.  There were times when I felt like I was experiencing greater emotional depth, but honestly my thinking hasn't changed much.  Gender dysphoria decreased.  Maybe this accounted for my subtle changes in emotional life. 

I read with a somewhat jaded eye many of the local accounts of radical changes in patterns of thought, especially those that happen within the first few months.  The placebo effect is rather powerful, and gender dysphoria seems to contain at its essence at least a degree of wishful thinking.  Nevertheless, as the expression goes, your mileage may vary.

Renae