Did I just forfeit my new job!?

[rainecloude]

So I start an ideal office job in my city centre after being desperately unemployed for almost 2 months. I presented at my interview as a male because I don't really pass and I didn't want my chances of obtaining employment to be limited.

I decided however that this office would be a good place to start as Raine. I wouldn't have to transition with old friends and colleagues who knew me as something else. So while waiting for employment to start next week I sent this email to my new manager. Have I thrown it all down the drain!?

"Hi *******,

I hope you are having a fun and productive week! As you know I am extremely excited to commence my employment with ****** next week and I am grateful for the opportunity.

Before I start however I feel I must disclose that I am actually a woman of transgender experience. This was my first time seeking employment since starting my transition so I presented as a male because I had the fear of being turned away because of who I am.

I want to be honest with my new team and I feel I could not do this if I am forced to present as male.

I am more than happy to field any questions or concerns you may have and hope sincerely that this will not affect my employment opportunities.

Kind regards,
"

I can't lose this opportunity!!

Much love. <3

[Transdude]

I would have waited till I worked there a couple of months before coming out as trans. But employers worry about being lawsuits and bad publicity from discrimination.  So that might work in your favor. Good luck.

I also have to say I think you really need to reconsider your not passing idea. Like I already told you in another post you do pass. Your picture doesn't look male at all. You're pretty.  Use it to your advantage.

[jentay1367]

I'd hope for the best and expect the worst. It really looks like you're daring them not to hire you at this point. Like you're going to do something about it if they don't follow through and hire you. This haves you starting off on a contentious, adversial footing regardless of what comes your way. Not a sound decision in my opinion. People don't like ultimatums, regardless of any other circumstance.

[Gertrude]

I find that offering too much information usually will be used against oneself. The question to ask is why? Cui bono? At this point there's no up side to disclosure.


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[Wednesday]

Have I thrown it all down the drain!?

Don't think so. Anyway I'm wishing you the best for the next week!

[Laurie]

 Raine,

  I won't speculate on the outcome of your disclosure. I believe it was an effort to be honest and genuine though as others have said it may not be taken  as such. You will just have to await the repercussions from doing it.

I wish you all the good luck with your new job next week and we'll just hope for the best. I can happen.

Hugs,
   Laurie

[Violets]

I don't think they can not hire you now if they have already made a formal offer of employment. However, if there's a probationary period involved, they could possibly let you go for any number of trumped up reasons.

If your new employer is a large organisation, they will likely have a diversity policy in place, as well as a LGBT program such as "Bring your whole self to work" or something along those lines. If this is the case you'll probably be safe as long as you meet your KPIs.

In any case, good luck with the new job!

[rainecloude]

I would have waited till I worked there a couple of months before coming out as trans. But employers worry about being lawsuits and bad publicity from discrimination.  So that might work in your favor. Good luck.

I also have to say I think you really need to reconsider your not passing idea. Like I already told you in another post you do pass. Your picture doesn't look male at all. You're pretty.  Use it to your advantage.

Thanks man! That means a lot. I couldn't really have waited that long as I live full time and I would have to go out and buy a whole male work wardrobe and change my hairstyle, my voice, etc.

I find that offering too much information usually will be used against oneself. The question to ask is why? Cui bono? At this point there's no up side to disclosure.


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I don't usually share to much information about myself but I needed to disclose so that I could present the way I wanted to at work. If they thought I was male they might not take it so well if I rock up in pumps and a business blouse.

Raine,

  I won't speculate on the outcome of your disclosure. I believe it was an effort to be honest and genuine though as others have said it may not be taken  as such. You will just have to await the repercussions from doing it.

I wish you all the good luck with your new job next week and we'll just hope for the best. I can happen.

Hugs,
   Laurie

I don't think they can not hire you now if they have already made a formal offer of employment. However, if there's a probationary period involved, they could possibly let you go for any number of trumped up reasons.

If your new employer is a large organisation, they will likely have a diversity policy in place, as well as a LGBT program such as "Bring your whole self to work" or something along those lines. If this is the case you'll probably be safe as long as you meet your KPIs.

In any case, good luck with the new job!

At this point I can say I was just over-reacting a little! Here in Australia we have very strong anti-descrimination laws and I have been been openly trans at my past 2 employers both of which were religious community service organisations.

I recieved a response back almost immediatley!

"Hi Raine,

Thank-you for being open and honest. It means a lot that you would confide in us.  In no way would this effect any employment opportunities, and we are looking forward to having you on board.   From my experience most of the team have had exposure to people making the transition, and I have not experienced anyone in the team that is not accepting and supporting everyone's personal experience.

It is entirely up to you on if you would like to make team aware or would like me to brief the team beforehand.  As your manager I want you to be as comfortable moving into the team, and I believe that you will have no issues with the team or the wider ****** environment. If you run into any trouble it will be dealt with discreetly and swiftly. Please let me know how you would like to approach, I will support whatever you feel is appropriate walking into the office.

Look forward to you joining the team come Monday.

Kind regards,"

Looks like it all worked out in the end.

Much love. <3

[Wednesday]

Glad to hear!

[Laurie]

Well you certainly can't complain about that response. Congrats on your new job Raine.

Hugs,
  Laurie

[Gertrude]

I don't think they can not hire you now if they have already made a formal offer of employment. However, if there's a probationary period involved, they could possibly let you go for any number of trumped up reasons.

If your new employer is a large organisation, they will likely have a diversity policy in place, as well as a LGBT program such as "Bring your whole self to work" or something along those lines. If this is the case you'll probably be safe as long as you meet your KPIs.

In any case, good luck with the new job!

Unless there was a contract that had terms that covered termination of the offer before she started, yeah, they could withdraw the offer. Employment at will is pretty standard in the US.


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[Gertrude]

Thanks man! That means a lot. I couldn't really have waited that long as I live full time and I would have to go out and buy a whole male work wardrobe and change my hairstyle, my voice, etc.

I don't usually share to much information about myself but I needed to disclose so that I could present the way I wanted to at work. If they thought I was male they might not take it so well if I rock up in pumps and a business blouse.

At this point I can say I was just over-reacting a little! Here in Australia we have very strong anti-descrimination laws and I have been been openly trans at my past 2 employers both of which were religious community service organisations.

I recieved a response back almost immediatley!

"Hi Raine,

Thank-you for being open and honest. It means a lot that you would confide in us.  In no way would this effect any employment opportunities, and we are looking forward to having you on board.   From my experience most of the team have had exposure to people making the transition, and I have not experienced anyone in the team that is not accepting and supporting everyone's personal experience.

It is entirely up to you on if you would like to make team aware or would like me to brief the team beforehand.  As your manager I want you to be as comfortable moving into the team, and I believe that you will have no issues with the team or the wider ****** environment. If you run into any trouble it will be dealt with discreetly and swiftly. Please let me know how you would like to approach, I will support whatever you feel is appropriate walking into the office.

Look forward to you joining the team come Monday.

Kind regards,"

Looks like it all worked out in the end.

Much love. <3

One way to feel it out is to ask for the employee handbook before accepting an offer. This way you can see what the policies are. Another help is researching the company on the HRC CEI . Glad to hear it worked out.


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[jentay1367]

Just awesome.....you gotta love best case scenarios. Congratulations on the new gig and the new home.

[Violets]

What a great response! Congrats!

[MeTony]

Wow! Congratulations on the new job and the understanding boss!

[Sarah77]

That must be such a relief - and kudos to you and employer

[Rachel]

Congratulations, I was hoping it worked out.