MY Brother just told me something that I found very hurtful. (Venting)

[RobynD]

Sorry he said that. Utterly stupid thing to say and shows his own insecurity and if you truly have to worry about violence from him, then i would distance myself from him as much as possible. Finally, the obsession with labeling people according to their sexual preference is also stupid, inaccurate, outdated and also another sign of someone's insecurity.

Oh and i dispute the idea that "straight" guys do not go with pre-op women as the poster above ascertained. Evidence from others and personal experience would say otherwise.

[stephaniec]

sorry you have to deal with that

[Jennifer RachaelAnn]

God, how many times have I had to listen to this ->-bleeped-<- from my own family. As far as I know, we are all "just ->-bleeped-<-s that don't want to admit it". People refuse to accept that not everything determines whether you're straight or gay. There "is no bi. It's one way or the other." I would say if it comes to this situation again, keep a baseball bat handy, in case your brother gets handy. You should never have to bite your tongue due to your brothers intolerance. If he goes on the attack, crack him a good one and ask if he thinks coming at you was a wise decision. I'm not saying go nuts and put him in the hospital. You'll go to jail for that one. But nail him just enough to show him that you're not going to hide your thoughts just to make him comfortable, and that if he tries anything again, you will defend yourself by whatever means are necessary. I ended up temporarily putting my brother in a wheel chair when he attacked me. he hasn't even looked at me cross eyed since. And he's 13 years older than me. But then out of the 3 of us I'm also the biggest. And the meanest.

[Charlie Nicki]

I don't think these labels matter at all...Judging by your pic, you look 100% female so these guys are interested in women. Most importantly they're interested in YOU, nothing else should matter, the way they identify shouldn't matter. Why focus on that? If your dad and brother believe they're bi, gay or whatever then ask them "so what? who cares?" I think this process allows us to understand that just like gender isn't black or white, sexual orientation isn't either and that's it.  You can't expect cis straight men (the most basic species in the entire universe) to understand that, but what you can definitely do is not let them get to you.

[Charlie Nicki]

God, how many times have I had to listen to this ->-bleeped-<- from my own family. As far as I know, we are all "just ->-bleeped-<-s that don't want to admit it". People refuse to accept that not everything determines whether you're straight or gay. There "is no bi. It's one way or the other." I would say if it comes to this situation again, keep a baseball bat handy, in case your brother gets handy. You should never have to bite your tongue due to your brothers intolerance. If he goes on the attack, crack him a good one and ask if he thinks coming at you was a wise decision. I'm not saying go nuts and put him in the hospital. You'll go to jail for that one. But nail him just enough to show him that you're not going to hide your thoughts just to make him comfortable, and that if he tries anything again, you will defend yourself by whatever means are necessary. I ended up temporarily putting my brother in a wheel chair when he attacked me. he hasn't even looked at me cross eyed since. And he's 13 years older than me. But then out of the 3 of us I'm also the biggest. And the meanest.

I really don't think getting physical over some petty comment is the best advice. You can't really fight ignorance, is best to ignore it and move on, it's not worth it.

[Rachel_Christina]

Yea, like others have said if a guy fell in love with you or was very attracted to you as a woman, and before he ever new you are trans, then they are straight most definitely.
If he accepts it afterwards and still decides to go out with you that does not make him gay either, he obviously sees you as a woman.
This is why I hate ->-bleeped-<-s, they are by the very object they are chasing gay, and 99% of the time see us as no more than sexual objects. A good percentage of those would not even be interested in a trans woman if she is post op.
You bro is definitely wrong in his assumption.
I'm sure there are guys that may also fall in love with a cis girl, and just because they go out with a woman or trans woman does not make them any less bi either.

[Devlyn]

Yea, like others have said if a guy fell in love with you or was very attracted to you as a woman, and before he ever new you are trans, then they are straight most definitely.
If he accepts it afterwards and still decides to go out with you that does not make him gay either, he obviously sees you as a woman.
This is why I hate ->-bleeped-<-s, they are by the very object they are chasing gay, and 99% of the time see us as no more than sexual objects. A good percentage of those would not even be interested in a trans woman if she is post op.
You bro is definitely wrong in his assumption.
I'm sure there are guys that may also fall in love with a cis girl, and just because they go out with a woman or trans woman does not make them any less bi either.

Be careful with that, hate will eat you alive. Dehumanizing a person with a pejorative label is  pretty much what all of us here would like to see disappear from the earth. It's disappointing to see people here doing it themselves. 

Hugs, Devlyn

[Rachel_Christina]

Hey Devlyn, I know what you mean.

I don't literally mean hate, it's just a word used lightly, I'm not one to study my posts to make sure I havent offended anyone, I never go out to do that, I'm just super lax when I type and don't care to much, also I'm pretty crud when it comes to things like righting anyway.

But I just think people seeking out trans people specifically kind of shows they don't see us as normal women.
I mean I am sure there or some that maybe finds our story's and or maybe our courage attractive.
But in general it's only one thing they are after

[Cimara]

I have seen the term "->-bleeped-<-" before. What does that mean?

[Angélique LaCava]

Basically means they are bisexual because the only reason they would go out with a transgender is the tits and  penis part, they couldn't care less if you look manly, If you have tits or wear a bra and a penis they will go out/hookup with you. Those types of call themselves straight, but are usually the ones that would hook up with a  feminine gay boy.

[Cimara]

Oh ok. Ewww!

[Devlyn]

It's also a term that people sometimes use to project their own self loathing onto someone that they deem flawed enough to love them.

[roseana21]

hed beat you up if you disagreed??? wow....sorry but that's not a supportive brother....honestly gay bi and straight are just human made labels they aren't real hard scientific things despite what some may say... your brother doesn't know what hes talking about....almost no gay males actually are into trans women and almost all who are are just into cis and trans women...just ignore him 

[roseana21]

also to those who "HATE" "->-bleeped-<-s" you must hate yourself than too cause the fact that someone likes ALL of you shouldn't be a reason to hate someone....your hating on a sexual preference which is no different than hating on gays, bi's etc...

[Rachel_Christina]

You are really missing the boat their Roseanna.

If someone falls in love with a woman, and turns out she is trans but he is able to put that aside and love her anyway, that is beautiful. And fair play to him to put his heart before the views of others.

But a ->-bleeped-<- is literally, after the fact your trans, not the fact your a woman.
I don't 'hate' them but I really don't like what they are at. I get there messages on Instagram all the time, and it ain't nice or because they love all of me lol

[SonadoraXVX]

Younger people are usually experimenting with their sexuality, but as they get older, say 40's and 50's, guys usually settle into what they want to do. Older people who say hurtful things, are usually uneducated on things tg, and even when they are, can be ignorant.

[SailorMars1994]

Yar. If your brother says that and you cant correct him without fear of violence he isnt supportive at all.

[SailorMars1994]

You are really missing the boat their Roseanna.

If someone falls in love with a woman, and turns out she is trans but he is able to put that aside and love her anyway, that is beautiful. And fair play to him to put his heart before the views of others.

But a ->-bleeped-<- is literally, after the fact your trans, not the fact your a woman.
I don't 'hate' them but I really don't like what they are at. I get there messages on Instagram all the time, and it ain't nice or because they love all of me lol

YES! to that

[Iliana.Found]

It's upsetting that your brother isn't accepting. I'm sure it would be nice to have a sibling that accepted you I'm only child sooo I can't really relate, but hopefully your brother comes around soon.

My boyfriend and I have been together for over a year and he prefers trans women. He knew I was trans before we dated. I would have to agree with Roseana that if someone loves all of you, you shouldn't hate them. My bf doesn't solely go for trans girls, but heavily prefers them. Like if I had an exact twin, he'd go for the trans version I don't think he is a ->-bleeped-<- anymore than I am a cis-women ->-bleeped-<- because I prefer a vagina on a woman. Just preference Then I think there is the alternative that, like Angelique said, doesn't care if your extremely masculine looking and identify as a trans-women and they pursue rather aggressively with a fixation on the genitals.

[Charlie Nicki]

But a ->-bleeped-<- is literally, after the fact your trans, not the fact your a woman.

It's no different than a guy who likes Asian or Latin women and looks only for those types because that's what they like. I understand where you're coming from but I really don't think all "->-bleeped-<-s" are bad. The way I see it, they like trans women for the thing that the women usually hate about themselves (the fact that they're trans) which is what makes the trans girls reject these men. But I'm sure there's men out there who are attracted to trans women and can be respectful and take them seriously, not as sex objects.

I, for one, couldn't care less if a guy is interested in me for being trans, if he's a ->-bleeped-<-, or bi or whatever he wants to label himself as. As long as he's respectful and likes me for me, and doesn't see me like some sort of toy to experiment with, I'm fine.