A guy gave me HIS number. What?!

[echo7]

How do you all feel about guys who give you their number, say something to the effect of, "let me know if you want to get together", and don't ask for the girl's number?

This happened to me recently, and I was thinking, what the heck?  What does this mean?!  I've spent a lot of time today searching the web - reading opinions, watching YouTube videos, and trying to understand what is going through a man's mind when he does something like this.  Why isn't he taking the more traditional route of asking for my number and simply asking me out?

I've asked my cis female friends about this, but I want to hear opinions from other trans women (and trans men!) too.  Is this bothering me more than it should because I'm a trans woman?  I enjoy the feeling of being chased, maybe more so than cis women, because it validates and affirms my female identity.  So this role reversal is really throwing me for a loop.  (BTW he doesn't know yet that I'm trans)

[Raell]

Not a good idea to call him unless he looked very nerdy.
Typically, the male is the aggressor in relationships, unless he is femme enough to attract a masculine female willing to pursue.
Even when I believed I was a hetero female, I never pursued males. They came after me and I usually did my best to winnow them out, usually leaving nobody. It was only when males ignored my disinterest and became my "pals" that they might eventually be successful in gaining my interest.

But when my male side was dominant, any romantic aggression from a female frightened me into a hasty retreat.

[Dena]

I think it would be rather rude for the guy to demand the girls number. By the guy giving the number, he is asking are you interested in me. If the girl is, then she can provide her number. She also has the option to think about it and call if she wants to take it farther.

It's a more laid back approach to keep the girl from feeling that things are moving to fast. It also shows that the guy is thinking about the girls feelings and isn't pressuring the girl to make a decision now.

[Lisa_K]

I agree with Dena on this.

I find it far more polite and less intrusive when a guy gives me his number. I don't see this as lack of male aggression or insecurity on their part but as a courtesy that leaves it up to me to be interested or not. In fact, if someone insisted on having my number, it would raise a red flag unless the feeling was immediately mutual.

Now if these numbers I've been getting lately were from guys closer to my own age, I might even call one of them back some day? 

[Dani]

Be careful going on a date before he knows your situation. Too many girls get beat up going on a private date which led to sexual activities and when he discovers your situation, he freaks out.

If you do chose to date him, them keep the date in public places until he knows your situation. If you chose to tell him, then do it over the phone.

Stay safe.

[Julia1996]

I agree with everyone else about being careful if you hook up with the guy. But what's wrong with him giving you his number? I've had guys give me their number. Its totally ok. It's 2017 not 1950.

[KathyLauren]

I agree with Dena and Lisa.  He is being respectful of your privacy. 

If he were to ask for your number, he would be making you vulnerable and putting pressure on you at the same time.  The more respectful way is to make himself vulnerable by offering you his number and leaving you the option to communicate or not.

This is the same rule of etiquette that operates on the Internet.  You never ask someone else to give you their email address.  Instead, you offer your own first.

Definitely look out for your safety and meet in a public place, if you choose to meet at all.  But there is nothing creepy about this situation based on what you have told us.  On the contrary, he is off to a good start.

[rose]

I don't understand
I thought western society is more open
I'm feminine and pretty and I was asking myself if it's acceptable in western society if the girl ask the guy she like to go out

Here in the eastern society women are demand to be sub and wait for the guy to do the move

I also saw British tv were the girl ask the guy out and took his number which was ok and he didn't give her the " shaming look " or treat her less

Was that reality or just tv drama

[echo7]

Well, I replied back and gave him my number, so the ball's back in his court now.  If he wants to ask me out, he can.  And by giving him my number I showed that I'm interested, so if he was previously afraid to ask me out out of fear of rejection, that should be a pretty good assurance for him.  Right?

I just feel like relationships work better when the man likes the woman more than the woman likes the man - especially early on.

And also I am really surprised with the responses here so far, because from what I have read on other internet dating forums, and from talking to my cis female friends, the overwhelming response from women was that the guys should be asking the girls out.  Not the other way around.

[baseballfan]

I have done that move before (I am still presenting as a male currently).  If he is anything like me, he just wanted to casually say that he was interested without trying to extract anything from you on the spot.  It gives you time to think about what you want to do.  All you need to do is text him back if you are interested but don't want him to chase you.  He will take it from there.

Don't take this the wrong way, because I don't mean it in a mean way at all but, I find this whole story kind of adorable.  It put a smile on my face.

-Jessica

[natalie.ashlyne]

I would just use cation obviously but ya he may be into you too or just want to be friends.

[yayo]

I just feel like relationships work better when the man likes the woman more than the woman likes the man - especially early on.

Couldn't disagree more! I think it's best when we're on equal footing - if that's not the case, it's better if I like him more than he likes me. I talk to so many guys, if I am a little disinterested it's not going anywhere, ever. But if a guy cares a bit less than I do, chances are I'm still the best thing he has going, so we'll make it work.