Broad shoulders - scared of transitioning

[Lily_james1]

Hey,
So as the title kinda suggests I am really concerned about my broad shoulders for transitioning. I havent started on hormones yet so I am unsure whether or not they will have an impact on my shoulder width?
My shoulders are about 19 inches accross, and family members (who dont yet know I want to transition) constantly comment on my shoulders being quite large. It really gets me down as I feel Ill never truly be able to pass as a woman. I have quite a feminine body and face its just my shoulders.
Can anyone offer any advice or personal experience? Itd be greatly appreciated : )

[Devlyn]

Hi Lily, welcome to Susan's Place! Ooh, bad sign, all this measuring. Only transgender people measure their shoulders, their fingers, their noggins. You better cut it out or you're going to out yourself!   

Don't sweat your shoulders, people come in all shapes and sizes. See you around the site!

Hugs, Devlyn

[TigerLilyNYC]

Hi Lily, I agree with Devlyn Marie's comment! My cis sister has very broad shoulders and no one ever thought she was male. She even did some modeling (she got all the looks in the family).🙃 So don't sweat it!!

[Denise]

My daughter was a swimmer in high school.  Her shoulders are wider than mine. 

[JeanetteLW]

 Hi Lily

I'm Jeanette the unofficial greeter. Welcome welcome come on in. Oh don't you worry about it, our doors are wide enough to allow everyone in.  There's a nice chair over there for you. Have a seat Devlyn won't mind she's out admining or something.  Have you looked at our wiki? Some good info there, or perhaps you would like to read a few more member's posts? Go ahead make a comment or two. What's that? you want to be left alone and get answers to your own question?  Okay okay I'm going, I'm going. Enjoy your stay.

  Hugs,
   Jeanette

[Gertrude]

Mine are 23". I guess I'm Out of luck.


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[Kylo]

My daughter was a swimmer in high school. 

So was I, it makes a big difference doing it during adolescence... I've always had bigger muscular shoulders/traps (for my size) because of it. Nobody ever said a thing about it, or "don't you have big shoulders!" or anything. Wish they'd had, I was proud of it.

[Sydney_NYC]

I have 18" shoulder, but I'm over 6'5", so it's well proportioned to my height, but my cis wife who was a lifeguard in college and a swimmer is 5'3" and also has 18" shoulders which is quite large for a 5'3" woman and she has no issues with it.

Keep in mind that there are cis women who are tall and have wide shoulders.

[vicki_sixx]

Hey,
So as the title kinda suggests I am really concerned about my broad shoulders for transitioning. I havent started on hormones yet so I am unsure whether or not they will have an impact on my shoulder width?
My shoulders are about 19 inches accross, and family members (who dont yet know I want to transition) constantly comment on my shoulders being quite large. It really gets me down as I feel Ill never truly be able to pass as a woman. I have quite a feminine body and face its just my shoulders.
Can anyone offer any advice or personal experience? Itd be greatly appreciated : )

Your fear is rational. I know people are trying to allay your fears by saying not to worry - and they aren't helping you - but of course you should - it risks being a major tell. Yes, some GG's have big arms but they either look like beasts themselves (not a look to aspire to) or compensate with feminine features: face, boobs, hips etc. Most of all, they will balance out their top half with their bottom half and be of the same width there or thereabouts.

Don't worry though (I am in the same boat too BTW) as you can expect to lose 40% or so muscle mass through HRT and this will significantly reduce your broadness. You can also look into fat grafting (as I am) to plump out your hips and balance you out. You'd look killer - pure Kim Kardashain lol. After FFS, that should be your number one surgical procedure.

[CrziCricket]

My shoulder width is about 20" naturally (I'm 5'6" and genetically female)...now I want to gain muscle mass there to increase the appearance of it since I want the masculine look (while attempting to lose hip width), but don't worry about feeling too large because of a slightly larger shoulder width.

Everyone is built differently. Of me and my two other sisters no pair of us have the same build, body type, or measurements. I  only know my shoulder width so that I could buy a binder so it isn't something most people look at. (family excluded as those people tend to nit-pick non-consequential things.)

[Janes Groove]

Don't sweat it. Lots of cisgender women actually want bigger shoulders.  Lots of tops are sold with shoulder pads to make the shoulders look bigger.

[Charlie Nicki]

You're not alone! I have a very wide back, so it also worries me that I won't be able to look good enough. But as the others said, HRT will probably help you a lot.

[RobynD]

You'll learn to emphasize the physical aspects of yourself you like, and downplay or compensate with other assets, those you do not like. I had fairly broad shoulders and thick pecs and biceps. HRT has effected them and they are more feminine but they are never going to petite. For some overall weight loss to your target weight will help with a more feminine figure in general, for others it does't matter.

They way you dress can really make a big difference. For instance someone that does not want to emphasize their shoulders may think twice about a boat neck sort of collared top because that tends to widen us visually. The same with horizontal stripes etc.

Don't be afraid there is a lot under your control for your appearance.

[Nora Kayte]

Hey,
So as the title kinda suggests I am really concerned about my broad shoulders for transitioning. I havent started on hormones yet so I am unsure whether or not they will have an impact on my shoulder width?
My shoulders are about 19 inches accross, and family members (who dont yet know I want to transition) constantly comment on my shoulders being quite large. It really gets me down as I feel Ill never truly be able to pass as a woman. I have quite a feminine body and face its just my shoulders.
Can anyone offer any advice or personal experience? Itd be greatly appreciated : )

I totally get being down when you get the comments about your shoulders. I never knew I had nice shoulders until I met my wife. And not nice the way we would like. Nice as in broad. Which is what my wife likes. And keeps saying. " I love your shoulders." She says one of the things she was attracted to. So at lease once a week I get a comment which she thinks is a nice compliment. But for me it is a mood killer. But if it was the only thing I had to worry about I would never worry, so you should not either.


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[November Fox]

I´m FTM, but I believe the muscle mass in your shoulders will decrease.
This is judging from what testosterone has done to increase the mass in my shoulders.

Also, I´ve always had very broad shoulders. So yes, it isn´t gendered

[Angieisalone]

I wonder if every is measuring correctly because there seems to be quite a bit of randomness here. They should be measured like this


With that said, broad shoulders are defined as shoulders that go beyond the length of hips.
At 5'9, my shoulders are 16ish" and my hip width is 13". This means that my shoulders are very broad especially for my height.
The circumference of my shoulders is 43" which is pretty masculine imo and because of this I'm forced to wear a Women's M which is a plus size :/

[Karen_A]

If you need to transition you will regardless or likely be be miserable for a long time and do it anyway and likey lament the lost time and teh life that has passed you by...

The times are now much more accepting than they used to be so 100% passing is not needed for survival...

I say these things from experience. Even though I wanted to be a girl from some of my earliest memories, my physicality was such that it seemed impossible by teh time i got to high school... and times were MUCH less accepting than now...

So I buried it and tried to get in in life... But I did not do that very well and made things a lot more complicated both physically and emotionally... and then I wound up transiting anyway at 42... and it's now 20 years later

I am not and can never be 100% passable and i knew it ... but I could not go on living without trying and hoped for a miracle  ... I did do better than I thought I would in the passing department, but not where I felt I needed to be to have the life I carved...

But even with all the feelings around that, I am in better shape than I was before ... I have been able to keep a professional job and I am not alone (though that is complicated)

My point is you need to really be honest with yourself about hope deeply you need to transition... Emotional needs don't pay a whole lot of attention to teh rational mind... If you REALLy need to do this "resistance is futile" if you can assimilate complete or not... so waiting (unless it's with very specific plans to make the money for SRS, FFS etc) will hurt things more than they will help.

If you don't REALLY need to transition to be happy, if you can be at peace with yourself without it, then by all mens don't do it... It complicates life immensely... Check on the thread on the post-op board about staying stealth or not.

The fear your feel is reasonable and healthy, as long as it does not control everything, as it allows you to go into this with eyes wide open... But living your whole life in fear and always wonder if if I had... is really really not.

- Karen