So those of you who've read some of my past posts know that my wife has been really struggling with my transition and her grief over the loss of her husband. We've been on the brink of her moving out and getting divorced repeatedly and she's had some serious mental health episodes as well. Her depression over childhood traumas as well as these more recent events have been a real struggle for her.
Well things really seem to be looking up as of late. She's started to reach out for additional help in the forms of more intensive therapy and group support (things she previously rejected). She's also made 2 new friends who are both trans women and have been very helpful for her as well. She admitted being able to talk with them has helped her better understand my feelings and what I'm going through. Her therapist has gotten more aggressive now too. She's no longer allowing her to avoid it, in fact just last week my wife saw pictures of Alyssa for the first time and in the next week or two we'll finally be having our first live introduction. Overall my wife has been able to communicate much better, we can talk about difficult topics (like effects of hormones, transition timeline, etc.) without her falling apart. She even admitted to and apologized for being very cruel and demeaning in her comments to me the past couple months.
Among all of this I got two very positive signs of her improvement last night. First, she went to the store and bought a few sun dresses for herself. Two of them did not fit her. Rather than take them back right away, she gave them to me and said I should see if they'll fit me and if they do they're mine. That's pretty big for her. Then later, she was on the phone with her grandmother and I heard her refer to me as her wife!! First time I've ever heard her do that and again for her to be able to even utter that term is amazing progress.
We've got a long road to go, and I'm doubtful that we'll ever have a romantic relationship ever again. However, if we can manage to stay friends, maybe best friends, through all of this, that would be a major accomplishment and a great outcome in my opinion.
