Hi everyone. I'm new to this forum and I've come here looking for advice and support. I guess I should start out by telling you guys about me. I'm a 34 year old biological male from a very conservative part of Kentucky. I've spent my entire life working a variety of jobs. Most notably I worked the local independent professional wrestling circuit for 11 years before retiring 4 years ago due to back problems. I always loved dressing up and putting on makeup. Where I come from the only way to get away with that is to either do theater or be a wrestler and for most of my life I did either 1 or both.
I tried crossdressing when I was younger, but like a lot people I was met with a lot of hate speech and name calling. I was in my mid 20's at the time and played it off as a joke because I didn't know what else to do. Since then I repressed that side of my personality.
A few months ago, I tried doing a drag show for the first time. It felt very liberating. I had never been so scared and happy at the same time, because it was my first time in public in a dress. What I didn't like though is with drag you're expected to have big hair and elaborate makeup and when I looked in the mirror I just wanted something simple. I found myself just wanting to be beautiful.
Since then I've been wondering if maybe I'm transgender. I'm spending more and more time online looking at women's clothes reading about breast augmentation surgery wondering if I should ever get it. I dress like a man for the most part in my everyday life. I almost always wear a t-shirt and jeans everywhere I go. I wear panties on an almost daily basis, unless I have a doctor's appointment. But it seems like everyday when I put a shirt on I feel disappointed because I'm not wearing a bra.
My wife has been very supportive and she knows I've been openly bisexual for about 14 years now and she's comfortable with everything. She says I'm gender fluid and tells me that she feels I'm equal parts male and female. Right now I tend to agree with her, but I feel the need to be more feminine. I'm just not sure what I am right now.
I'm at major transition point in my life right now. My wife and I are getting ready for a major move in the next few months and I'm hopefully going to be switching careers. I'm just wondering if maybe it's time to make the change and start living my life as women. I feel drawn in that direction, but to say I'm scared would be an understatement. But with all the other changes in my life, maybe it's time to make this change as well.
What do you guys think? Any advice would be appreciated.
