Henlo there. You can call me Las or Emma. I'm a 27 year young mtf in Colorado. Haven't actually started HRT or anything, yet. Perhaps I should go into some background/history how I ended up here *takes breath*:
I grew up predominantly as a cis male. Did mostly cis male things, including being a brother. I did, however, have a big fascination with girls clothing. Would regularly wear my sisters cheerleading outfits, dance leotards, and regular skirts. Never told my parents cause they were a traditional Christian family and well, it would have gone pretty poorly. Did this for a few years, then got into highschool and stopped for the most part. Was preoccupied with school to really focus on other things.
Fast forward to about 10 months ago. I had met a mtf person online that I became friends with quickly. She would tease/compliment me here and there about wearing women's clothing (in a nice way). It was at this point my memories of younger me and my experimenting came back. I started getting that urge to look and feel beautiful. I had no clue up until this point that transgender was a term I'd end up using for myself. I went back and forth for probably a good 2 months, highly considering transitioning and then not wanting too. That ended up being out of fear/uncertain with myself. Since I could not make up my mind (and it was a constant battle daily), I decided to label myself as gender queer (or gender fluid). Ended up getting myself a few dresses, some makeup, etc. I embraced both genders. I felt much better and continued my daily routines.
Met another mtf friend 4 months ago. Then about a week ago, I got that urge to transition...again. I was confused, as i thought not tying myself to one gender would give me the freedom my mind craved (or so I thought). So I decided to think it over, do some talking with my friend and others. I then decided that transitioning was something I want, and not just some random urge. I realized that being a women, physically and mentally, was something I would not be able to satisfy with being gender fluid/queer. I wanted it (and still do). I'd look at women just while out and about and found myself wishing I was that beautiful/pretty/etc (in a none creepy way of course!).
That leads me to hear. Was recommend this site by my friend and encouraged to see what other help I can find. I know that the transition will take a lonnng time (in terms of mental and physical l and it will probably be awhile before I can really even look into starting HRT or anything similar. That's my story and I'm sticking to it lol. Again, hi and I hope everyone is having a wonderful day wherever you may be.
