I'm flaky and all over the place, so it's been a while since posting/commenting. But whoa my god, the things that are happening!
Last week was by far the best yet. On Wed, I had my two month followup after starting HRT. My doc said he was very happy with where I was at, and wanted to do blood work just to make sure. And then he tells me that my T level at the very beginning was only at 284 (had no idea it was that low!). My blood work came back showing T at 200, with my kidney levels just a bit wonky. So we upped my Estradiol (SO THRILLED!) and are tapering the Spiro. He thinks that these doses may in fact be all I'll need, considering the progress at the low level in just two months. This left me at the top of the world!!
Then Thu, I go to work a day shift at the retail job I have 1-2 days a week, and introduce myself to a new coworker as Aria. She was the first person to ever only know me as Aria, and I nearly cried on the spot. I let my manager know that I was ready to go by Aria exclusively while there, and she was almost more excited than I was! I already get gendered by customers as she (to others and in front of me), which is in and of itself fantastic. Since it's retail, I put a lot more effort into clothing, shaping, makeup, and hair, so it makes sense that I would receive this in that atmosphere. But then I did a chair massage gig (I'm an MT) at a high school, and twice when I asked for the restroom, I was brought to the women's without any question. I'd introduced myself as Daniel when I'd arrived, and was wearing a little makeup, but the uniform is pretty unisex. Another moment I just about cried.
I've been posting on Facebook about these and many other moments and feelings and progress. The support is overwhelming, and I feel more love than I have in a long time. I just keep gushing wherever I go, even if only in my head. Even the owner at the salon I go to asked if I'd like to change my name yet, and that it is a safe space for however I want to express myself.
I knew that I wanted to start hormones when I did, but I still had doubts/anxieties/panic at times. Even now, there are moments I question it, but that's usually when my insomnia kicks at 2am and my mind is searching for anything to be anxious about. But taking the hormones have relieved about 98% of the anxieties, and not just with my transition. I'm more confident in general, more direct with family and friends, more energized to see what comes tomorrow. Living in the moment has never been easy for me, but now I love daily life too much to get ahead of myself. Alright, I've gone on a lot now, and I do hope I'm not seen as self centered by showing up again to just post all this "go me" stuff. But really....GO ME
1 Week before my appt
Got my hair done just before my appt
1 Week after my appt
