I went to church today - Hmmmm

[Steph]

I went on a date with a gentleman on Saturday evening in Ottawa.  We had a wonderful time and danced the night away (and he knew of my past).

At his suggestion we went to church the next morning, a Baptist Church.  Now although I was baptized a Mormon, I no longer practice my religion, and I doubt very much if I would be accepted back into the church; Cindy will back me up on this.

However, off we went.  The congregation was very mixed, young folk, old folk and all those in between from a variety of racial backgrounds.  A small but very friendly congregation.  I was welcomed with open arms, smiles and hugs, and encouraged to participate.  I felt very good, comfortable, amongst caring, loving people.

The service lasted about an hour and a half, and included, singing, prayers, reading from the bible and of course a sermon.  Very nice and as they projected the words to the hymns on a screen, I was able to sing along, albeit not very loudly and way off tune.

After the service everyone was invited to the back of the hall for coffee and snacks where we stood around, chatting about nothing in particular.  The pastor made a point of introducing me to as many people as he could, and everyone continued to be friendly, adding how good it was to see me there and how they hoped I would return to join in the fellowship etc... They had no idea...

After my date and I left and we were standing in the parking lot, and knowing their stand on homosexuality, I wondered to myself - How would they have treated me if they had known that I was transsexual?  Would I have been as welcome?  Having previously met, and judged me, would I have been welcomed with open arms the next time if I had told them about "me"?  After all the person they met would have been the same person regardless after my revelation.

Just a thought, as folks say and preach "God doesn't make mistakes"...

Steph

[tinkerbell]

Hmmm...I was raised Catholic and when I went back to my parish after I transitioned, people didn't know who I was and treated me very well.  Weeks later, I told the Priest who had participated in my first communion that I was "so and so" (referring to my previous name).

His words to me were "you can't be "him"".  I honestly thought I was not going to be welcome there anymore, but to my surprise I was.  He even started calling me by my current name and using the right pronouns.  So you never know.. 

tink  

[Sheila]

Steph,
  Sounds like you had a great time. Don't judge the group by the sign on the building. Just like Tink said, some are very welcoming. I have met a lot of religious people and most are very welcoming. It is the small percentage that makes the loud noise. Have fun and be yourself. I know you will.
Love Sheila

[Suzy]

Steph,

Glad you had a good experience.  Did you ever stop to think that maybe those things are not coincidences?  Maybe you were there for their benefit as much as the other way around?  Anyway, I'm glad you put a personal face on everything for them, whether they realized it or not.

Well done!

Kristi

[Cursty]

I like churches! I find them peaceful and lovely! Here in Hobart they are mostly old sandstone and built with great architecture! The people who attend these churches are generally nice and dont judge people too much! Im not sure if they like transexuals! I guess it comes down to the individuals beliefs. The church can only brainwash people so much then they have to make up their own opinions. But its all too much for me! So I visit churches when there is no one in there because its peaceful and spiritual and makes me feel closer to God! God loves me and thats all I care about not petty Human books and prophets with there magical powers! I like to sit in there and regress silently and pray that people will just be nice to each other and tolerate our differences! We all should all help each other to get along as life isnt easy....But it doesnt have to be so hard either! Im a Taoist by the way! I also like to sit in parks and watch the birds and listen to the trees. I feel nature is where the true power of God lies and I admire how beautiful a garden can be! Like the saying goes 'Green is good!' And I feel closest to God in nature.
Especially in spring when everything is in bloom and all the flowers are out! Its so pretty and makes me feel good about the world we live in! Plus Nature doesnt judge me at all so we get along fine! Just like all the fury little friends and animals that I absolutely adore...

[carol_w]

Steph,
What does it matter?  You're a woman now.  No one needs to know your complete past history.  If people ask, you can change enough of it to make it where it's "yours". 

You are who you are right now.  That's all that matters to God, and it's all that should matter to them as well. 

I pray that you would give them a chance and go back.  And like Kristi said:

  Did you ever stop to think that maybe those things are not coincidences?  Maybe you were there for their benefit as much as the other way around?  Anyway, I'm glad you put a personal face on everything for them, whether they realized it or not.

God Bless You, lady. 

Carol

[suregirl]

From past experience of a Baptist church I would say yes they would have treated you differently-I had a battle with a Baptist church here in the uk which has hurt me deeply--trying to explain myself or getting any reason from them was like banging my head on a brick wall,eventually I made a mistake which has set me back years all for the sake of acceptance of others.

[cindianna_jones]

No, the Mormon faith will not completely take you back.   As a post op, you would officially be excommunicated.  You can work your way back into the fold (a minimum 2 year process) but they wouldn't quite know what to do with you. You would likely have to openly repent.  Although they claim you are still male, they would probably never let you exercise the rights of the priesthood unless you freely admitted that you had made a mistake and promised to live the rest of your life as a ... heterosexual male.

Yes, you would likely be treated differently had you come out to them.  In such a situation, I would never out myself.  If I were contemplating worship with a group, I would want to feel assured that they would love and accept me regardless of my past.

We humans put a terrible face on God don't we?  For all the good we ascribe to a supreme being, we fall so short in emulating those things which are truly righteous.

BUT.... once in a while, you'll find a refuge where these things matter little to the congregation.  If you are religious, I encourage you to seek out that place.

Cindi

[Steph]

I'm not a religious person but I was pleasantly surprised at the reception I received.  Who knows how I would have been received had they known about me.  But I'll never know as I'll not be returning.  Thanks for the replies everyone.

Steph

[Valerie]

Um, wow, Steph...I really HAVE been gone a long time!  Date?  Guy?  CHURCH?! 

Holy canoles...

I'm glad you had a positive experience. True one never knows how others will respond when they know all of who you are & where you've been....but that's to be expected in general society, too.  Anyway, kudos to you for being open-minded enough to give it a go.   

XOXO,
Valerie

[Steph]

Um, wow, Steph...I really HAVE been gone a long time!  Date?  Guy?  CHURCH?! 

Holy canoles...

I'm glad you had a positive experience. True one never knows how others will respond when they know all of who you are & where you've been....but that's to be expected in general society, too.  Anyway, kudos to you for being open-minded enough to give it a go.  

XOXO,
Valerie

Holy canoles is right, Wow, Val where the heck have you been.  Yep I guess you might say that things have changed a little since you were here last

It's so good to see you.

Steph

[pennyjane]

it's becoming more and more apparent to me that, as kristi pointed out in another thread, it's really more about the individual chruch.  i just read in a tennessee paper about a young theology student doing an internship at a babtist church in nashville.  she is openly gay.  go figure.

that you pass so well, at least from looking at your pic here, it may very well be that these folks are just nice and welcoming to certain people, and as you say, would not have been quite so nice if you had a sign on you that read, "transsexual."  it's a shame you didn't let them know, then you wouldn't have had to keep wondering.

i went to a church women's united meeting just recently.  there were women from all different chruchs in our county.  i didn't wear a sign outing me as ts, but.....i don't figure i pass all that well.  i certainly make no effort to.  at any rate no one, not one there, treated me as anything other then just one of the women from fpc.  i never found an acceptable opportunity in the conversations i had to out myself.  it would have been off topic and i felt it would make me seem to be trying to get attention.  this does create in me a bit of a dilemna.  on the one hand transitioning to me was a matter of open and honest living.  on the other hand, sometimes it's nice not being in a fishbowl.  i feel like i'm not being all that true to my principles when i allow others to see me as gg.  but lately i'm finding outing myself intentionally is becoming combersome.  at what point, if you believe it is irrelevant to your person, do you accept that and pay it no mind?

i used to believe that not outing myself was lying by omission. now i seem to be questioning if not outing myself is really that much of a lie.  i've alerted myself to what i know would be a great temptation to jump right back in another closet if i ever got to pass too well.  that is..hiding my transsexualism.  i am not in any way ashamed of my ts, nor am i all that proud.  i didn't earn it, ask for it, buy it, steal it or come by it in any other way then...i was just born that way.

but there is also the other matter, that of responsibility to my peers and my decendants.  if i truly want those girls who come after me to have an easier time of it, and a surely believe i do, then don't i owe it to them to make sure that people around me know?  so that they will gain an appreciation of us and share that with those around them.  it can be a quandry, i think i can appreciate some of what must have been going through your mind while you were there........ 

[Lisbeth]

I was the reader at church last Sunday, and everybody there knows all about me.

[bethzerosix]

i am christian... and the thing that gets me about religious types saying, "god doesnt  make mistakes" meaning that it is not possible to be t/s..... why cant they see that what it really means is, "god didnt make a mistake with me. he knows that i am t/s because he made me that way." ?

[pennyjane]

amen.  i believe that nature made my body, God made my spirit.  where there is conflict between God and nature.....i'll go with God every time.

[Chaunte]

Steph,

Hey, girlfriend!

A lot of people have good words for you in this thread.  And it does come down to the community.

"God doesn't make mistakes..."  I heard this from my sister-in-law.

No, we are not mistakes.  Nor are we saying that the Almighty made a mistake in creating us.  We are as we have been created.  Denying who we are is denying the Hand that gave our spirit life.

Perhaps our task is to challenge some communities.  Are they followers of Christ, or are they followers of their own fears? 

This journey tests our own faith as well.  Will we trust the Hand of Creation, or force our own way in the world?

And somewhere in the middle, maybe - just maybe - we discover who we truly are....

Chaunte