the stall next door

[AshleyP]

This may sound kinda strange, but I'd really would like to have y'alls input.

The other day, I was talking to a long time trans girl. She's been full time for over 10 years and had GCS years ago.  I mentioned an encounter I had at the bathroom entrances in a retail store. I walked up to the entrances and paused because there was a custodian with his cleaning cart in between the men's and women's. I wasn't sure if either was closed. The custodian looked at me and said, "Go ahead, it's open" and gestured towards the women's room. It totally surprised me. Usually, I avoid using public restrooms if at all possible, but I had to go pretty badly; I went on in.

I relayed the story to my friend, and she said she wanted to give me a piece of advice about using the women's room. She advised that I needed to "hold it down, so that I peed into the water not onto the side of the toilet bowl." The reason is that it sounds more "natural." I took her to be serious at the time. I've thought about a bit. Makes me wonder if other's in the women's restroom really do listen to the sounds coming from the other stalls? That just seems kinda improbable, but I'd be the first to say there's a lot about womanhood that I don't know. Do you y'all think it was a sincere piece of advice or that she was just pulling my leg? Do women really listen to what's going on next door?

Feedback, please.

All the best,
--AshleyP

[kaytigibbs]

Never thought of it but men are louder when they urinate.  Good question.  It is small things like that we tend not to think of.  Kayti

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[AshleyP]

Never thought of it but men are louder when they urinate.

They are when they're standing; not so much when they're sitting.

All the best,
--AshleyP

[Julia1996]

Really?  I never thought about sound. As long as you're sitting I thought it was fine. If someone ever commented on how my peeing sounded I would tell her to get a ##life! The whole bathroom deal makes me mad anyway. I saw a video of security hauling a cis woman out of the ladies room. She was a masculine  looking lesbian. She didn't have ID so they told her to get the ## out!  I would have sued the place.

[elkie-t]

I think even when sitting, male bits pushes urine out as a jet, whereas girl bits breaks the jet and just let urine trinkle down. One more reason why I thought about chastity belt when I had one (cheap Chinese, bad results - waste of money), I could see a lot of difference in my pee sounds. Nowadays, when I pee, I try to control it and let it go slow (can't tell I can do it every time, but I try).

But I never cared about next stall ladies' sounds. The ladies are kind enough to allow me in without raising a hell of a noise, I'm not into prying into their privacy


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[KathyLauren]

I doubt if women pay a whole lot of attention to the sound effects.  On the other hand, if you have attracted attention on the way in ("Hmm, she's kind of tall and broad-shouldered, with a somewhat masculine face..."), they might be paying more attention.

Personally, I don't worry about it a whole lot, but I do try not to stand out.

[elkie-t]

Quite often there's a line to the stalls and, unless you're absolutely stealth passable (and I'm not with my 6'3"), those ladies in front of you will know you're trans. So far, no lady raised any objections to my presence and obviously I follow the etiquette there.

Speaking of 'no objections of my presence' - I was really surprised at times how accepting are the ladies. I took a road trip once along rt66 and stopped at travel plazas restrooms in each state. I overheard once a mom telling their small daughters, 'she just needs to pee', or patiently waited in a long line (and subconsciously were expecting someone would raise the issue - then with so many people around I would be kicked out in no time - but it never happened, not once, not from any lady in the restroom.

But I was harassed by a male restroom attendant, a state employee. He tried to stop entering. I was in a serious need, and ignored him. I walked faster than him and locked the stall (thank god it was empty, or nearly empty, no line that time). He followed me in and tried to get me out of the stall. Well, I obviously had to finish what I started, then on my way out - i gave him a lecture of him (a state employee) violating my rights and state law allowing transgender folks using restrooms of their gender - it was a bs as far as I know) but I hope he won't know that for a fact and think twice when he meet another MTF


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[Julia1996]

So, a MAN followed you into the LADIES room because he was afraid you were ,in his eyes, a guy and he was trying to spare the cis women embarrassment from having what he believed was a man in there? Really? That guy is a total imbecile!

[Julia1996]

[pligirl75]

As a cis woman I will tell you we listen but not necessarily for the reasons you think... many of us get nervous when other women come in... when another woman starts it's like running a tap... it makes us able to go....


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[summer710]

Since I'm usually tucked in some form, my stream just goes straight down into the bowl, not to the sides.  I guess you can think of it like this:  Penis plumbing - shower head; Vagina plumbing - shower faucet (sorta)

[Ryuichi13]

I don't know about cis women, but when I was pretending to be a cis-female, my piss sounds were pretty loud. [emoji23]

Honestly, I never paid any attention to sounds in the bathroom...unless someone farted.  Then I'd have to try and quiet my chuckling!

Ryuichi

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[Anne Blake]

I think that it is also about the sounds that one is used to and don't hear. Take a listen the next few times you are in the restroom. CIS women are often louder because the urine stream hits the water directly while trans women tend to hit the porcelain side of the bowl and are quieter. Also, you will always hear the CIS women tearing toilet paper from the role while many trans women aren't in the habit of using it. Women that are subconsciously aware of their surroundings often notice that something is different than normal. In this case a few may notice but rarely make an issue of it. 

[Lady Sarah]

I noticed my mother's pee sounds like a spray, and others like a trickle. I learned to make mine sound like a trickle. What worries me more, is when little girls try to peek through the gaps of the stalls, like they're going to see something they shouldn't.

[martiabernathey]

LoL a friend of mine, who's a trans man, had a long discussion on this. I'm very visibly trans and this would worry me a lot.  He said that he's shared bathrooms with crossdressers at a trans convention and the biggest thing was farting. That women generally don't fart (or poop) in public.

Me being the person I am, generally pee with breaks because that (in my decade of transition) is what I've noticed. Also it's a good way to do kegals, which is good for you anyway.

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[Julia1996]

OMG, farting is like HILARIOUS! I've heard women slap out some big ones in the ladies room. Then it like echoes off the walls. If I wasn't already on the toilet I would wet myself from laughing so hard. My grandma farts when she bends over. I know she can't help it but its still hilarious!

[Nora Kayte]

Ok it's true. Women sound different when peeing than men. Even when men are sitting down.
Now most people who don't care what sound we transwomen make when we are peeing and would probably never be a problem. The one kind of person who would notice would be the psycho bathroom nazi. The one who was not sure, but suspected. You know the type. So that 1 in 1,000,000 million chance you are found out because of your pee sound I would always hold it down. JK

But actually I think it depends on where the natural aim is. For me if I don't hold it down it aims right between the lid and bowl and floods the floor a little. Never had it happen in public. But I know exactly what your friend is talking about.


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[RobynD]

That women generally don't fart (or poop) in public.

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I can assure you from years of using women's facilities that your friend is not at all correct. Cis Women do both of these things like everyone else in public facilities.

[martiabernathey]

I can assure you from years of using women's facilities that your friend is not at all correct. Cis Women do both of these things like everyone else in public facilities.

I've heard it a few times, but not generally.

But what does he know know, he only used women's restrooms for 3.5 decades.

Women can be as gross as men, but generally aren't in terms of openness of it. Ymmv

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[TransAm]

Okay...
Women ****, fart and even go full simian and finger paint with poop in public restrooms (I recall several bathrooms being closed for such reasons growing up stuck as a female). I've seen blood smears, blowouts, crack-shaped poo stains, piss on the floor and used feminine products tossed openly on the floor.
Now, is every women's bathroom a war zone? No. But exercise basic tact and you'll already be ahead of a decent percentage of cis women.

Also, I pissed weird for a cis female; it's great now, but it sucked before. I used to absolutely loathe using female restrooms because, in order to sit down and piss effectively, I'd have to almost bend in half or I'd piss a solid stream right out onto the floor. As a result, I'd end up just hitting the side of the toilet bowl which would dampen the sound like someone with a penis. In 27 years, no one ever commented or noticed.
Now, I happily stand and freely piss jet streams. Life is much simpler.

Anyway, 99% of the time, we're the ones blowing the tiny little things out of proportion in panic.