Gay man --> Lesbian?

[tgirlamg]

I find this very interesting.  I've only had relationships with women and can't even imagine myself (as I currently am) with a man.  However, when I imagine or fantasize about being a woman I always imagine myself with men.  Was that your experience too?

Hey Jessica!!!

Yes... I had never felt gay as a man or a desire to have a sexual experience with a man as a man but.... I had always had fantasies about being with a man as a woman... Once I started transition, I decided to explore that and things just kind of took off from there!!!... Presto Change-O!!!!

Onward we go!!!!

Ashley

[baseballfan]

Hey Jessica!!!

Yes... I had never felt gay as a man or a desire to have a sexual experience with a man as a man but.... I had always had fantasies about being with a man as a woman... Once I started transition, I decided to explore that and things just kind of took off from there!!!... Presto Change-O!!!!

Onward we go!!!!

Ashley

Wow good for you.  Isnt sexuality crazy?

[baseballfan]

Hey Jessica!!!

Yes... I had never felt gay as a man or a desire to have a sexual experience with a man as a man but.... I had always had fantasies about being with a man as a woman... Once I started transition, I decided to explore that and things just kind of took off from there!!!... Presto Change-O!!!!

Onward we go!!!!

Ashley

And I love being called by that name! 

[tgirlamg]

Wow good for you.  Isnt sexuality crazy?

It is indeed! ... I went through a brief intermediary period where I felt like my attraction to others was more on a case by case basis as far as gender and orientation of my partners.. I did have some experiences with crossdresser friends and transwomen but as of today I feel like a confirmed hetrosexual woman... I can only really picture myself with a man... Actually The Man!!... My Husband!!!

Onward we go!!!

Ashley

[Raell]

Yeah, I got crushes on boys all my life, but it was more envy, or wanting a male pal to hang with.
I'm asexual, or demisexual-after two years of close association, so even though males were the only ones willing to wait for me until I felt sexual attraction, I suppose a very persistent woman would have worked as well, or maybe better.

I now consider myself nonbinary partial transmale, and think both males and females are beautiful, but without feeling lust.
But when I finally get used to someone long enough to feel sexual attraction, my libido is scary strong and I can play either role.
This leads me to believe that I'd be pansexual if not asexual, so I suppose it doesn't matter which gender I marry. It's hard to even date, though, if the thought of sex is nauseating, although I think I could actually kiss a female.

[Shy]

I'm a heterosexual female. I'm not attracted to gay men but would like to settle down with a man one day once I have fully transitioned. That's of course if I could find someone to put up with me

Peace and love and all that good stuff,

Sadie

[RavenMoon]

I find this very interesting.  I've only had relationships with women and can't even imagine myself (as I currently am) with a man.  However, when I imagine or fantasize about being a woman I always imagine myself with men.  Was that your experience too?

Never, ever for me. I don't even like most men as people. Lol. And I find body and facial hair repulsive.


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[Mikaela]

Hi Mikaela!

This was my take on what was going on... A friend told me that my attraction to women which I had always viewed as normal was really just " hero worship " and seeking out female energy. Anne Vitale's writings seem to say the same thing as well... I had noticed as my attraction began to fade, when I would look at a woman that I would previously been attracted to, my thoughts were more just envy... As in, I wish I had her hair or her body etc... Exploration of self... The last frontier!

Onward we go!!!

Ashley

I'm definitely enjoying the interplay of the masculine/feminine from a new perspective now. Currently I lean towards feeling like I'm a lesbian, but I'm not sure. I used to be drawn to dalliances with men (with my wife's knowledge), but lately I've lost all interest there. I'm curious to see where that will go. Maybe the type of man I'm attracted to will shift? Maybe the way I interact with them will shift? I don't know. I don't worry about it. For now, with my greatly diminished libido (which, btw, I'm enjoying on it's own merits!), I'm just letting things flow.


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[Perle]

I really appreciate this discussion. I've recently started treating trans patients with hormones and hysterectomies. I'm a gynecologist but I don't do gender reassignment surgery. I've always had an affinity for gender nonconforming folks and being in here has really helped me understand my patients and speak respectfully to them and their partners. Thank you very much.


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[Mikaela]

I really appreciate this discussion. I've recently started treating trans patients with hormones and hysterectomies. I'm a gynecologist but I don't do gender reassignment surgery. I've always had an affinity for gender nonconforming folks and being in here has really helped me understand my patients and speak respectfully to them and their partners. Thank you very much.


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Awesome that you're doing the real research! Welcome!


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[CMD042414]

Hi, y'all. I'm from the other side of the pond (FTM) but I was talking to one of my MTF friends about this and thought I'd ask you ladies. A lot of people in the trans community know that it's common for an FTM to go from being a lesbian to a gay man as he transitions, but is the reverse common in the MTF community?

That is actually an inaccurate myth that seems to stubbornly persist. Common to go from lesbian to gay man is entirely too absolute. There are some FTMs that report an ability to see men as a viable option only after starting T but it is 100% not "common". And I would argue they most likely had the capability to be attracted to men before but the desire to act on it was extremely low. Testosterone ramps up the libido and I really believe it has a ton do with sexual energy and desire. It is not a coincidence to me that FTMs who have sex with men tend to be less dysphoric about their genitalia. Perhaps they are suddenly horny all of the time and the plumbing connects quite well with a cis male. Also women may no longer be able to match their level of sexual desire. In terms of dating and love, being comfortable with yourself and feeling whole does wonders. Maybe they find it easier to date men now that they are finally in the body that matches their soul.

I identified as exclusively lesbian before, I now am exclusively heterosexual.

[Julia1996]

It's totally interesting how sexuality can change. I am straight. I've only ever been attracted to guys. I guess I'm boring compared to some of you.  Lol

[SashaGrace]

I came out as gay when I was 14, trans when I was 16, dated guys then met the most amazing woman you could ever imagine when I was 18...




...We've been together nearly 5 years and married nearly 2. I couldn't imagine it any other way now

[RobynD]

One of the subjects that really interests me. In my estimate sexual preference and attraction is a spectrum or a scale with a sliding button. It moves back and fourth some amount our entire lives. Still people do need their labels, don't they? and with regard to sex they really, really like them.

Label wise it was easier for me, i was bi before transition and i am bi after. I am starting to like the more inclusive term of pansexual though. Being a bi presenting man and a bi woman, are fairly different experiences though.

Sexual preference evokes strong feelings in people, even other peoples sexual preference. This is witnessed by the fact that we sometimes use very strong words like "repulsed" etc when contemplating physical intimacy with one person or another. Not saying this is wrong, it is just interesting and i sometimes think it would serve us better to look on things more softly than that. I'm not sure why i feel that but i do.

[tgirlamg]

Well said Robyn!!!