Grrrr frustrated!

[MissKairi]

I thought another site I was on was full of a great bunch of trans people but every day its the same.
Super short skirts and knickers and saying that genetic girls would totally wear stocking and suspenders daily.

I dont have many friends but the genetic girls I know prefer to wear jeans.

Its making me extremely confused again.
Am I missing something?
Do genetic girls dress in jeans but T girls dress in sexual clothes?

[AnneK]

I've known a couple of women who regularly wear stockings and garter belt.  There are also some who normally wear skirts or dress, with hose.  That's certainly the case in many business environments.  My ex only wore jeans when cleaning.  I don't think she ever set foot outside in them.  She also only wore shorts when bike riding, camping, cleaning, etc.

[MissKairi]

sorry let me clarify
stockings and knickers photos in obvious sexual poses.
not for daily wear

[LizK]

sorry let me clarify
stockings and knickers photos in obvious sexual poses.
not for daily wear

So do you think for them it is all about the clothes maybe?

I love a nice skirt or dress as much as the next girl but I also have some modesty plus lace garter belts can be scratchy  (and expensive)...I also have two daughters who NEVER dressed like that...and neither did most of their friends with the exception of one and she would have worn a bikini to work if she could have gotten away with it...One is really a jeans and tops girls who when she glams up "really" glams up...and the other who is a dresses girl and wouldn't be cause dead in anything too revealing

[Tommi]

Maybe look up the differences between ->-bleeped-<-s, crossdressers, and transgendered folks. Basically are they women, or do they have a fetish about being one?

--
"You do realize, this means you get to do character creation & the newbie zone all over again? "

[Raell]

Yeah, both of my married, 60+year old transwomen friends are that way. Their idea of passing as ciswomen is to wear low-cut, skintight minidresses, 5-inch heels, expensive jewelry and heavy make up, even for ordinary tasks like going to get the mail.
Nothing I've said, such as asking them to observe cis women their age, pointing out that women mostly wear jeans and T-shirts, etc. seems to have made any difference. They only want to dress like their own sexual fantasies and can't comprehend how ridiculous they look to others.

[AnneK]

So do you think for them it is all about the clothes maybe?

I love a nice skirt or dress as much as the next girl but I also have some modesty plus lace garter belts can be scratchy  (and expensive).

Back when I wore garter belts, it was always fairly plain, functional ones.  I found the fancy ones just didn't stand up to daily wear, along with being uncomfortable.  However, since the line of stockings I wore regularly was discontinued and my garter belts and panties were getting beat up, I switched to pantyhose a few years ago.  But I still have one nice, though plain, black, 6 strap garter belt, just in case...

[Sarah.VanDistel]

Hi MissKairi,

I suppose the answer to your question is: it depends. It depends on the personality, culture, education, social context and probably a bunch of other variables that I am forgetting to mention. There's an entire spectrum of possibilities of expressing gender and no one is more valid than the others. I think that one must above all remain faithful to herself and certainly not do things just because others do, others say or others say they do.

I'll give you my example, which is the one I know best. 😏 As a male, I've always been a quite discrete person. Along the years, I always preferred plain clothes and avoided flamboyant colors. This is how I was and it hasn't changed. So as a woman, I wear black jeans, plain T-shirts, plain blouses... During the summer months, I like wearing light a-line skirts or women's shorts at home because I feel more comfortable in them when it's warm. As for the underwear, I  only use lace shorties and bras, because it makes me feel pleasantly feminine and (contrary to many women) very comfortable. I do have some stockings (both normal and holdup), tights and two garter belts, but I seldom use them. And it's not just for practical reasons. They just don't really reflect how I am, how I feel feminity.

But you know what? If someone else likes to use more "daring" clothes in more "provocative" poses, it's all right. If that suits their lot, why not? And of course, if you don't feel comfortable around these people, you have a simple solution: stay away. 😉 Just don't change who you are to please them and don't try to change them. I would never hang out with drag queens, for instance, not because I condemn how they are (I certainly don't - I love diversity) but simply because it's not how I am... And we do tend to hang out with people with whom we have more in common.

My two cents... and don't worry too much about this. Just be happy. 💐

Hugs, Sarah

Sent from my SM-T810 using Tapatalk

[ds1987]

I wonder if when some people transition from one gender to the other, they dress and behave the way they perceive their ideal to dress and behave.  As an example, if you look up "trans girl" on Google, you'll see a lot of the same beauty "standards" in body/face/attitude that you'll see if you look up "sexy girl" or something of the like. 

I've found myself having moments of "oh, I want a tiny waist" or "I could never wear something like that and look sexy" then feel bad about myself.  But then it hit me recently that those thoughts are some of the same that cis women have too.  I'm not saying that people transition solely to emulate a specific type, but we are all prone to the same pitfalls and insecurities.  I love that there are Trans women who dress sexy and alluring and want to entice, etc.  But I also love that there are other Trans women who would be comfortable as themselves wearing jeans and keeping their hair in a ponytail.  Because a Trans woman is a woman, and women fall all over the spectrum of clothing choices and presentation. 

All this to say, you are beautiful, and never forget that.  As you discover yourself on this journey, there are going to be wonderful things about you that you love, and that INCLUDES flaws and insecurities, because they make up a person just as much as anything else. 

Much love,
Aria

[Julia1996]

There are no rules really. I think most women dress by whatever mood they are in or the stuff they are doing.  I wear skirts and heels if I am going out someplace but not for every day. Usually in the summer I just wear shorts and tank tops if I know I don't have to go out in sunlight.  In cold weather I wear jeans, yoga pants,sweaters and plain tops. I think the reason some transwomen dress over the top to go to Walmart and the grocery store is because they never had the chance to experiment with clothes and makeup growing up and they are making up for lost time. But sometimes trying to look too good can backfire. There is this lady who lives 3 houses down from us. She is 65 years old and she wears short skirts, high heels and a lot of makeup. During the summer she will wear a 2 piece bathing suit to work on her flowers in front of her house. I have talked to her before and she is totally a sweet person.  But she is also a huge joke around the neighborhood.  People, including my mom laugh at her and make fun of her. If dressing that way makes her feel pretty then people shouldn't mess with her or worry about what she wears. But people are mean. Especially other women!

[Shy]

Maybe seek out your local trans group and see what the ladies actually wear in real life.
In my local group it's anything from mini, midi and maxi skirts to dresses, jeans and leggings, heels or flats. There are cross-dressers, transexuals, and non-binary members. Some wear makeup, others don't but we still all fit under the same trans umbrella.
Just be yourself and wear what makes you happy would be my advice

Peace and love and all that good stuff,

Sadie

[Julia1996]

I wonder if when some people transition from one gender to the other, they dress and behave the way they perceive their ideal to dress and behave.  As an example, if you look up "trans girl" on Google, you'll see a lot of the same beauty "standards" in body/face/attitude that you'll see if you look up "sexy girl" or something of the like. 

I've found myself having moments of "oh, I want a tiny waist" or "I could never wear something like that and look sexy" then feel bad about myself.  But then it hit me recently that those thoughts are some of the same that cis women have too.  I'm not saying that people transition solely to emulate a specific type, but we are all prone to the same pitfalls and insecurities.  I love that there are Trans women who dress sexy and alluring and want to entice, etc.  But I also love that there are other Trans women who would be comfortable as themselves wearing jeans and keeping their hair in a ponytail.  Because a Trans woman is a woman, and women fall all over the spectrum of clothing choices and presentation. 

All this to say, you are beautiful, and never forget that.  As you discover yourself on this journey, there are going to be wonderful things about you that you love, and that INCLUDES flaws and insecurities, because they make up a person just as much as anything else. 

Much love,
Aria

When I first transitioned I would look at magazines and get stressed and upset that I didn't look like those girls and could never look like some of them. I used to get really depressed over it. One day when I was feeling sorry for myself my brother said: "why look at the girls in the magazines? You are never going to be tall and have long legs and you won't ever have normal eye or skin color. Instead of stressing yourself out over it realize you can't change it and make yourself look good the way you are."  that totally pissed me off! But after a while I started thinking he was right.  I still get jealous of other girls but I have stopped obsessing over it. And my mom told me something thats true also. She told me that no matter how good you look there always will be someone who is prettier or has a better body.

[ds1987]

When I first transitioned I would look at magazines and get stressed and upset that I didn't look like those girls and could never look like some of them. I used to get really depressed over it. One day when I was feeling sorry for myself my brother said: "why look at the girls in the magazines? You are never going to be tall and have long legs and you won't ever have normal eye or skin color. Instead of stressing yourself out over it realize you can't change it and make yourself look good the way you are."  that totally pissed me off! But after a while I started thinking he was right.  I still get jealous of other girls but I have stopped obsessing over it. And my mom told me something thats true also. She told me that no matter how good you look there always will be someone who is prettier or has a better body.

Absolutely!  I'll also add that it's true the other way around.  I'll have a day that I feel gross or unattractive or whatever, and someone will see me and go "I wish I could look like you do."  Even something so simple reminds me that while there will always be someone who looks prettier, there will always be someone who thinks you look prettier than they do.  Even truer, there will always be someone who thinks you are beautiful, period.

[Julia1996]

Thats true. I have had people tell me I am beautiful and ethereal.  It always totally surprises me. It doesn't matter if you live near the ocean or not.  A tan is a beauty standard among most people.

[AnneK]

When I first transitioned I would look at magazines and get stressed and upset that I didn't look like those girls and could never look like some of them.

The same applies for many cis women.  Those magazine pics are "ideals" and often retouched.

[MissKairi]

Thanks everyone

From re-evaluating this other site it seems a lot of them are crossdressers with that are their sole purpose.
I was speaking to someone there who explainrd a lot of them are gay males who dress to get attention/sex.
More power to them

I think it is time I left that site as I feel I am, I dunno, frustrated perhaps because they are always showing their buts and thats not the type of person I am.

I think my conservative way of living is a total clash with theirs.
I am at fault and I feel silly for making this thread now