Second Therapy Appointment, Was Good and...Unexpected!

[ChloChlo]

So I had my second therapy session today and we started to dig a little more in to my gender issues & etc.  Everything was going more or less how I expected it, but at the very end she asked if I wanted a referral to speak with the therapist that is in charge of recommending HRT.

I just sat there and was sort of like "Wait.....what?"

I hadn't intended on starting HRT for a while because I have been feeling absolutely terrified about passing, how it would effect my job, you know, all the usual.

But after she recommended it i didn't feel quite as scared.  Still scared for sure, but it didn't seem quite as impossible as it has before.

I told her that part of me wanted to throw the dice and just do it, because if I wait until I am "ready" it would never happen.  I wanted to wait so I could lose some weight and transition to a thinner women right from the start, but that of course is pure vanity

As tempted as I was, I told her that this early on my wife my completely break down, I wasn't sure if she was ready for that.  She said talk to her and make an appointment to bring her with me if she is willing, then we can all talk about it together.

I asked my wife about it and explained why the therapist wanted her to come in and talk.  Her first response was to say no way, but she thought about it for a second and said that she would go, she wants to try and be supportive. She said she is terrified, but she wants to support me.

So I made an appointment for 2 weeks from now and we will see what happens.  It's wild to think that in a month or two I could possibly be starting HRT, I thought that I would end up psyching myself out and delaying it forever.  But maybe I was wrong.

[RobynTx]

Congratulations. That's a big step to take. I'm glad your wife is going. My first session is next Wednesday but my wife isn't coming. She wants to but our work schedules don't work well very often. Hopefully mine will be there for the second or third one.

Congratulations again. Hope everything goes smoothly for you.

[Devlyn]

Yays and big hugs to you and your wife! She sounds like a real peach.

Hugs, Devlyn

[sarah1972]

First congratulations! Getting HRT approval is a big step.

In one paragraph you mentioned not wanting to start HRT out of fear for not passing (in the long term it will help with passing) and for your job. The last is a fully understandable fear.
The good part about HRT is that you can start low dose. It will bring you a small amount of physical changes and some mental changes. That would be a good trial to see if this is a way you want to go.
I did go on full transition dose from day one but still set myself a few checkpoints: two month and six month. Two weeks in I noticed so many mental changes that I knew I was on the right track. Down to other people noticing. Original plan was not to come out until the six month mark which is in two weeks. Well - I am fully out and about for a month now. So much for checkpoints. Everything just feels right.

Long story short - if you are unsure, start with a low dose and see how you feel. You will know pretty quick if it feels right or not...

[ChloChlo]

First congratulations! Getting HRT approval is a big step.

In one paragraph you mentioned not wanting to start HRT out of fear for not passing (in the long term it will help with passing) and for your job. The last is a fully understandable fear.
The good part about HRT is that you can start low dose. It will bring you a small amount of physical changes and some mental changes. That would be a good trial to see if this is a way you want to go.
I did go on full transition dose from day one but still set myself a few checkpoints: two month and six month. Two weeks in I noticed so many mental changes that I knew I was on the right track. Down to other people noticing. Original plan was not to come out until the six month mark which is in two weeks. Well - I am fully out and about for a month now. So much for checkpoints. Everything just feels right.

Long story short - if you are unsure, start with a low dose and see how you feel. You will know pretty quick if it feels right or not...

Honestly I am more worried about the short term interim period that's the hardest.  I know I can get FFS and things like that, it's just the waiting until then that make me nervous.

As for the job having a job that pays well for only having a high school diploma and 9/10 of am associates degree makes me nervous.  I like to think my work career at least makes me a good candidate, at least now.  Once I am transitioning?  Who knows.

But as for the dosage, yes you are right that I can choose the dosage to start.  I am not sure where I land on that yet.  Low dose would probably be easy in the short term, but transition dosage would let me know a lot sooner how it makes me feel, and at that point I may feel so good about things that I would feel much more comfortable jumping in head first.