Taking it slow or jumping head first

[MissKairi]

I am taking it slow. Lots of reasons including work, weight and looks but I am okay doing so as long as I take consistant small steps.

I'm just more curious to hear from people who have spent years progressing before coming out and those who just decided to go straight out and be their inner self overnight.

[Daniellekai]

Taking it slow as well, there's gonna be an awkward in between phase no matter what you do though.

[rmaddy]

Is 10 years slow?

I think there is a lot to learn about oneself (and about being a woman!) along the way.  Those whom I have met who raced through their transition are still struggling with the things they needed to figure out first.  Of course this comes with the caveat that I know mostly older transwomen, who lived for decades as men.  I'm open to the idea that those who transition early face different issues.

[Wanda Jane]

I kicked the closet door open so hard it came off the hinges! For a couple of months I let my hair grow, wore VERY light eye makeup and very translucent nail polish. When I moved out of the ex wife's house 12/29/16 I went full time. Clothes,  nails, makeup, etc. Started hormones right away. Laser hair removal. I just jumped in and immersed. The first couple of months were difficult, but the results have been amazing for me. It's taken a lot of courage, thick skin and a wonderful support network. I wouldn't change a thing though. My dysphoria is all but gone, my self esteem is back and most of all I love who I see in the mirror now.

[Gertrude]

Glacially slow, but accelerating glacially.


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[I Am Jess]

I just jumped into the deep end of the pool a little over two years ago.  Started in 2015 with therapy in February, HRT in March, had name and gender change in May and was full time as me by the middle of June.  In August I had FFS and BA.  In August of 2016 I had GCS.  There was no going back for me.

[JB_Girl]

I am taking it slow. Lots of reasons including work, weight and looks but I am okay doing so as long as I take consistant small steps.

I'm just more curious to hear from people who have spent years progressing before coming out and those who just decided to go straight out and be their inner self overnight.

Every story is unique and every story valid.  For many of us it took decades before we were ready to admit to ourselves the truth.  In my case almost six, so by the time I could no longer hide from myself and was prepared to pay whatever cost must be paid.  I felt pressure to advance, but was also realistic enough to be willing to not go faster than I could prepare.  I spent six years getting fit, getting smart, and getting help between my initial irrevocable decision and GCS.  For me that was about as speedy as I could manage and still be fair to the people I love, the institution where I work, and the only body that I am likely to ever get.

It worked for me at that pace for many that is just too slow (Jess you rock lady (I am neither that clever nor that brave), but in my world, six years from beginning to final realization was about right.

Peace,
Julie

[Denise]

From first therapy session to full-time in 16 months. Four months on hormones.  Is that fast?  For me it was just right.

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[Sarah_P]

At first I was wanting everything to happen NOW!!   But I realized that it wasn't going to happen that quick, and kind of mapped out a rough estimate. I got started with therapy in May, began laser hair removal on my face & voice lessons (not professional, but they're working for now!) in June, and just started HRT this month  .  My goal is to be full time by the new year, but that may depend on if I can find both a new job & a place to live that isn't in a tiny little hateful town like the one I currently live in.

[KathyLauren]

Is 61 years to come out slow enough?  It was definitely too slow for me, so now I'm making up for lost time.  Two months from coming out to therapy.  Four months from therapy to HRT.  Three months from HRT to full-time.  GRS still in the future, but no farther in the future than it has to be. 

I have spent at least 2/3 of my life as the wrong person.  I intend to catch up as fast as I can so I can enjoy whatever time remains to me.

[Michelle_P]

Is 61 years to come out slow enough?  It was definitely too slow for me, so now I'm making up for lost time.  Two months from coming out to therapy.  Four months from therapy to HRT.  Three months from HRT to full-time.  GRS still in the future, but no farther in the future than it has to be. 

I have spent at least 2/3 of my life as the wrong person.  I intend to catch up as fast as I can so I can enjoy whatever time remains to me.

THIS!  Maybe even faster for me. Days from coming out (via attempted suicide) to therapy.  3 1/2 months of therapy to HRT.  4 months of HRT to full time, less if full time when out of the house counts.  (it was complicated).  One year almost to the day of full time before GCS, or a year and 7 months, roughly, from coming out.

Oh, I was certain of what I was over 30 years ago.  I just opted to hide it so I wouldn't upset others.  Big mistake.

[Cheaney]

I think that we just do what's comfortable for us. Whatever style or time frame that is. To do it any other way would be forced and likely not successful as others have said already. 

For me, everything just kind of happened all at once. I repressed and ignored feelings my whole life(31 years) until a couple of months ago. Now is the first time in my life where I gave those thoughts merit and eventually accepted those thoughts/feelings. Now that I'm doing that and have more time go by, I am ok with a more steadied pace now. As long as I feel like I'm taking steady steps in the direction then I'm good. If something gets in the way of that though I'm probably going to react by saying it needs to be done yesterday. And I think that see a GT on a regular basis helps sort out and process those thoughts and feelings to know more what you can handle and can't. From my very little experience so far lol.

[MissKairi]

Very interesting replies

Now, I finally do genuinely feel if I went to bed now and woke up female and nobody knew the difference how elated I would be!
That's new.
But my life never works like that so I have to keep proding and hinting until someone, one day goes "why are you (insert like a girl)?) and I can reply "cos I am"

It takes me a long long while to accept major changes but I'll get there, as will the rest of us trudgers
As for you jumping in, you go people! Get this shiz done!

[Dan]

Good question with very interesting and definitely not surprising variety of responses.

The best speed is the one that you feel comfortable with.

I'm letting T take the reigns in my case. I believe I will be able to manage the speed, whatever it is in the end.

[SophiaBleu]

Taking it medium slow. Been in and out of therapy for years. Had a massive mental break down in 2015. Started hrt in 2016. Next up for this year (or early next) is name/gender change and an orchi. My last day at my latest job is tomorrow (yay!), so I will have a little more time to devote to transition and finding a job as the authentic me!

[Sophia Sage]

I started slow...

Months 1-6: Therapy, electrolysis, and voice training 

...and then I ran like hell!

Month 7: HRT
Month 9: Full-time (except work)
Month 16: FFS
Month 24: SRS/BAS

Therapy and electrolysis continued through the whole timeline. 

[Maddie86]

I'm taking my transition a little slow. I've come a long way but I still have so much ahead of me! I made the decision to transition back in Feb and started coming out to some close friends. I started therapy in march and in may I had a consultation with the doctor that could prescribe me hormones. I had a laser session on my face in may too but I don't think laser is going to work well on me, so I'm gunna go with electrolysis for now. Nothing much happened in June but this month has been big, I had my first electrolysis session and last friday I went back to the doctor and got my prescription for HRT and I started it on monday! I also went out to a bar with some friends dressed as a woman a couple weeks ago for the first time!

It's going to be a long time before I'm fully out though. I work for a union and I'm not vested yet. If I drop out before I'm vested then I lose all the benefits I've been working for for the last 5 years. as of now my pension is worth $300 a month when I retire, and that's only with 3.5 credits (i need to get to 5 credits). If I work through september this year I will have earned a credit for the year, and then I have to work 4 or 5 months next year to get that final half credit to be vested, ugh!! it's a super masculine job too, which may get to me mentally, it already has a lot but right now i'm ok. at least it gives me more time to work on getting my beard removed before I come out!

[elkie-t]

Young people probably should jump into it as fast as possible (in order to stop t-exposure as soon as possible). Older people need to plan first and careful, prepare as much as possible in stealth - start hair removal as soon as possible, change jobs to a place with good record of trans-people acceptance, etc), then execute fast (life is short, and if you aren't young, the faster you act, the more good years you may expect ahead of you).
What I am saying, is that once somebody starts HRT and transition, the straighter and faster is she going through the awkward phase of transition, the faster she arrives to the new station


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