Klinefelter syndrome: 28 years on hormone therapy and still feeling feminine

[Mich]

Hi all

I'm Mich from Belgium, @ age 17 diagnosed with Klineflter and on hormone therapy since then. @ age 14, my hips became wider and I got breasts. The area below my nipples had some hard tissue, so it wasn't just fat.

Back then i got bullied a lot, especially during sports @ school. When we changed clothes, everyone was staring at my breasts. "Being told I was a girl and I had to sport with the girls" was something I heard quite often back then. When I got 17 I was done with all the bullying and asked help from the school nurse. She knew some endocrinologist so she was the right person in the right place for me.

At age 17 I got a surgery to remove my breasts. And I went on testosterone hormone therapy till now. I would say that changed a lot for me but I've never had the feeling being a common guy.
I like girls, I'm not into men.. I love fashion, talking for hours about nothing sharing, health issues
Girls like my companion, they say :"I understand them", they feel immediately at ease with me. I'm not really a danger to them. They feel that right away.

But there were some things just off. For instance in a relationship with a girl, I felt a stong feeling of jealousy. I was jealous because she could express her feminine with make-up, lingerie and fashion. When I told her, she didn't understand it and told me I was probably gay. But that isn't the thing. Believe me, I tried  men are not my thing.

So now after 28 years of testosterone therapy, the feminine me is still inside me.She must be quite strong, because even after all the testosterone injections she's still there. I feel a strong duality, let's say she's 20 days a month the leading lady and 10 days it's my masculine me. This duality rips me open from the inside.

If I could go back in time, I would tell my younger me: "don't get rid of the breast and start female hormone therapy". And become the beautiful person you are in a female body.

I'm starting therapy now with a sexologist, just to discover what my goal is. Is the female desire I feel enough to make steps to become a woman? Or is it just ok being an intersex person? I have to do something about it, because the feminine feeling gets stronger year by year.

I just hope making the right choice ...

[Dani]

Is the female desire I feel enough to make steps to become a woman?

Only you can answer that question. Therapy from a counselor trained in gender issues can help, but, ultimately, the decision is yours to make.

Or is it just ok being an intersex person?

Yes. Are you OK with living with an intersex condition?

I have to do something about it, because the feminine feeling gets stronger year by year.

I do believe you just answered your own questions.

Welcome to the group. We are more numerous than most people are aware of.

[HappyMoni]

Hi Mich,
  I am not intersexed but your story of being pulled in two directions is the story of my earlier years. I do hope you will explore your feelings. Running never got me an answer. I am sorry it is so hard for you. I hope you stick around and maybe find a little support and maybe some feedback from the site. Welcome! Oh, my name is Moni.

[Dena]

Welcome to Susan's Place. As long as you take it at your own pace, you should have time to make up your mind as to what's right for you. RLE (real life experience) will help you get to know what life is like from the other side and if you male days will still be an issue. I am binary so I didn't experience switching but it still can be somewhat difficult to give up what you are comfortable with to try something totally new. If there is anything I can help you with, let me know.

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