The Job Search (a bit of an essay- but I need help here)

[jessilynn]

I am revisiting this subject. After an interview yesterday, I have to. So because this is so long, I hope someone will listen, and help with some advice.

So let me explain a bit about myself first;

I am trained as a Medical Assistant. However upon graduation, thats when my dysphoria was THE WORST, I was constnatly depressed (better now). Anyway that is the position I am seeking is a Medical Assistant position. And frankly, I feel I am QUITE professional about it, I knew after graduation, that I could not be what I needed to be. YEAH I looked for jobs, but half heartedly so. At the time I was uncomfortable with myself. I mean I was still "male" as according to all my legal documents. And I didn't feel the confidence. Had to dress up and present fully male (it doesnt help that I have a BAD fear of men who wear dress shoes- which I had to wear. That's a long story trust me). Which further put me into a depression, and I would actually harm myself after interviews.

What I Need

I need advice for finding a position where I can either dodge the questions or discriminatory crap I can potentially deal with, and either prance around it.

In the past I have been told "DO NOT DRESS FEMININELY!" So what I wear is something rather feminimely obscure. I have a nice black shirt with a little buckle Here! This is a picture I have on FaceBook So Trust me it's safe... https://scontent.fsnc1-1.fna.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/15134616_648697775311212_638035019149345745_n.jpg?oh=5ae86526841e4b714e13a9238495ebfe&oe=59CC6CEC

But that's how I dress for interviews. My father in law who DOES do hiring (not in my field though) has said that yeah... maybe I should wear a skirt. And present a little more feminine?

The Bad Interview

I walk in confidently. They hand me a piece of paper to fill out asking references, days available, and what date I am able to start. I start to fill it out. There is me, and a parent of a patient in the clinic (it's urgent care for all, not just paediatric patients)
And the woman behind the reception desk keeps saying "Sir" I thought she was talking to the patients parent. So naturally knowing I am a woman, I ignore it. "SIR!" she says "SIR!" I finally look up and the parent says "yes" then go about my business filling this out further"
I look up to see a woman standing before me as she sais "EXCUSE ME SIR! What is your name?"

I correct her and say "Oh I am a woman, and my name is Jessilynn Jane B****"
She gives me the MOST DISGUSTED look as if she were about to slap me. Then she writes something down on a piece of paper, that trust me, took longer than my name to spell out. And then goes in the back.

The interview went all of about 8 minutes (which is MUCH shorter than I've had without an offer, and much too short for a medical facility interview. Yeah I handed a copy of my name change documentation to the interviewer, as well as a copy of my degree, and obviously resume.
She takes my resume, but faces down the name change, and degree and leaves it on the desk. As I walk out, the woman who misgendered me said "Have a nice day sir"


So I am wondering if something skanky was just going on there. And how to exude the confidence that I normally do when I... well dress like the woman that I am.

[Michelle_P]

Wow.   But... Just think about what it would be like to work there, with that receptionist, and very likely given the unusual interview length, that boss.  The supervisor likely did the perfunctory interview to avoid something possibly actionable like refusing to consider someone based on gender identity.

Would you want to work in such an environment?  Complete transition there?

[elkie-t]

I would suggest to add a little bit to your resume at the end under 'other' title and write up that you're currently in process of mtf transition and would like to be presenting as a female on the job. A nice professionally yet feminine picture at the top of your resume might help as well to ease their concerns that you'd look too bad for a woman. That way you might have less interviews, but those where you'd be invited might go much better than that bad one. And dress professionally feminine for interviews if you want to be subject to female dress code there and generally treated as a female.


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[Gertrude]

If I was interviewing as Gertrude, but I would wear a skirt suit or a sheath with a blazer, low heels or nice flats. As far as what you experienced, run like hell.


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[Gertrude]

I would suggest to add a little bit to your resume at the end under 'other' title and write up that you're currently in process of mtf transition and would like to be presenting as a female on the job. A nice professionally yet feminine picture at the top of your resume might help as well to ease their concerns that you'd look too bad for a woman. That way you might have less interviews, but those where you'd be invited might go much better than that bad one. And dress professionally feminine for interviews if you want to be subject to female dress code there and generally treated as a female.


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While I'm all for honesty, putting that on a resume will be a job killer, especially if you go through a recruiter. Tell them when they have some interest. Just saying. Anything interpretive and especially that has nothing to do with ones ability to do the job, leave it off.


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[Gertrude]

You should look up the career guru Liz Ryan. She has some great tips and advice. She'll give personal advice if you pay too.


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[elkie-t]

While I'm all for honesty, putting that on a resume will be a job killer, especially if you go through a recruiter. Tell them when they have some interest. Just saying. Anything interpretive and especially that has nothing to do with ones ability to do the job, leave it off.

I don't agree that it will be totally a killer, those who are in the LGBT-friendly list might actually seek some benefits in hiring an open trans-person.

Although, on a second thought, OP could get a name change, update DL and medical assistant license to the new name and start applying for a job under her new name. DL is usually asked by HR only after job offer is made and accepted

[Dena]

The big problem today is the Social Security card. When the employer submits payments, the name and number must match exactly. If they don't, the employer gets a note back asking that the differences be resolved. On the plus side, this information isn't required until after you have the job so you can wait until your intake with HR before revealing it. It's worst in Arizona because my own mother had to do an E verify on me before I could be employed in the company business. Makes me wonder if my  mother is really my mother.   

[Gertrude]

I don't agree that it will be totally a killer, those who are in the LGBT-friendly list might actually seek some benefits in hiring an open trans-person.

Although, on a second thought, OP could get a name change, update DL and medical assistant license to the new name and start applying for a job under her new name. DL is usually asked by HR only after job offer is made and accepted

If that's the case, the résumé isn't the introduction, usually it's through networking and even so, it's something that would be more likely used in a cover letter. I suppose one could have a résumé for companies where one might think they're welcome, but you never know. Some companies have great policies on paper, but the branch in BFE just doesn't follow the policies. In other words, it requires some planning and thought. It all depends.

[Kendra]

I think it is good to present yourself the way you plan to work.  You don't need to outline future transition plans in writing at that stage - those are personal medical details between you and your health care provider.  I agree with Gertrude: before a job is accepted, focus on your job skills and what you can do for the employer.

Different countries have different norms for resumes.  In some countries a resume commonly includes a photo and sometimes a person's age.  In the US I rarely see a photo and never a person's age, and a sensible company won't request those before a hiring decision is made (unless it's a job requirement - modeling agency etc.). 

I wouldn't have been able to resist the temptation - when the receptionist told you to "have a nice day sir" after you had politely corrected her, I would have very loudly responded, "Thank you, sir!"  If that cost me the job, oh well - they probably have competitors who are hiring. 

[jessilynn]

The big problem today is the Social Security card. When the employer submits payments, the name and number must match exactly. If they don't, the employer gets a note back asking that the differences be resolved. On the plus side, this information isn't required until after you have the job so you can wait until your intake with HR before revealing it. It's worst in Arizona because my own mother had to do an E verify on me before I could be employed in the company business. Makes me wonder if my  mother is really my mother.   

My SSN IS under Jessilynn Jane Baker

[jessilynn]

It was just rather jarring, though I think I am going to start interviewing as a woman as per my father in law, and one other suggestion... ANY HELP would be appreciated!!!!!!!!!!! I do not know what to wear in the professional world.

The most "professional" thing I own, is a pin stripe skirt and jacket. The Skirt comes up too high (in my personal opinion). it is mid thigh length, and the jacket is short sleeved. I got it in hopes that I may be able to wear it at a function or something.

[elkie-t]

The most "professional" thing I own, is a pin stripe skirt and jacket. The Skirt comes up too high (in my personal opinion). it is mid thigh length, and the jacket is short sleeved. I got it in hopes that I may be able to wear it at a function or something.

Be a big girl, buy something nice to yourself and it doesn't have to be too 'professional'. Today's standard is 'business casual'

[Kendra]

The most "professional" thing I own, is a pin stripe skirt and jacket. The Skirt comes up too high (in my personal opinion). it is mid thigh length, and the jacket is short sleeved. I got it in hopes that I may be able to wear it at a function or something.

I don't work in your particular field and local standards vary, but I'd suggest a skirt for business interview should at least cover your knees while you're standing.  If you find that too frumpy, wear a pant suit for the interview.  The advice for any gender is - you want the interviewer to focus on you, not your clothing, so avoid things that are distracting.  Don't go heavy on makeup or jewelry, and definitely go light on the perfume (or skip perfume entirely, just deodorant for an interview). 

Pin stripes sound too formal to me.  I'd go with a dark solid color, easier to combine with other clothing, buy it for the interview but something you can enjoy occasionally after the interview.  Dark grey, dark blue or black sound masculine but are common colors for womens' suit colors.  A red or white suit looks great but could cause the interviewer to pay too much attention to your clothing.  To buy a suit you might occasionally enjoy after the interview, consider your favorite blouse colors - for example a charcoal or black coat looks sharp with a red shirt. 

At the office I've been paying more attention to what women wear as I'll make the switch at work a few months from now.  Business casual is more flexible but for an interview I think it's best to be dressed well, and never more casual than the interviewer. 

[Stevie]

When I interviewed for my current job I wore black slacks with a patterned blouse, short black jacket, black flats and some ear rings that complimented the blouse . I did not tell them, I am trans I have changed my name and all my legal documents.  I was actually more relaxed  and confident than I had ever been in an interview than before I transitioned.
I have been working there since last august and have never been misgendered or treated differently than any of the other women there.
I have many years of experience in my profession, which is much different than a trying to get established in a field. All of that was under my old name, but that never came up in the hiring process though.  I consider my self very fortunate that I can continue to work in this field, as I know  a lot of us lose that ability when we live as who truly are.
Go to interviews dressed as any other woman would while interviewing, you do not have to tell them you are trans.
You are a woman looking for a job all of the same things about presenting yourself for an interview apply.

[jessilynn]

I don't work in your particular field and local standards vary, but I'd suggest a skirt for business interview should at least cover your knees while you're standing.  If you find that too frumpy, wear a pant suit for the interview.  The advice for any gender is - you want the interviewer to focus on you, not your clothing, so avoid things that are distracting.  Don't go heavy on makeup or jewelry, and definitely go light on the perfume (or skip perfume entirely, just deodorant for an interview). 

Pin stripes sound too formal to me.  I'd go with a dark solid color, easier to combine with other clothing, buy it for the interview but something you can enjoy occasionally after the interview.  Dark grey, dark blue or black sound masculine but are common colors for womens' suit colors.  A red or white suit looks great but could cause the interviewer to pay too much attention to your clothing.  To buy a suit you might occasionally enjoy after the interview, consider your favorite blouse colors - for example a charcoal or black coat looks sharp with a red shirt. 

At the office I've been paying more attention to what women wear as I'll make the switch at work a few months from now.  Business casual is more flexible but for an interview I think it's best to be dressed well, and never more casual than the interviewer.

Unfortunately with the subject of "earrings" I have a different style. My ears are gauged for religious purposes. So I have blue saddle plugs. They are not the types where there is an actual hole there, They are filled in.

[DawnOday]

A front ruffle white blouse and black pencil skirt.  Fairly cheap at Penneys and available in Tall if you need it.