Man buns? Yucky! We'll all struggle with hair, until you reach the point where you just don't give a darn what others think. It's harder when you are still working, and unfortunately "people" are judgmental. My goal is not to attract attention.
I think longer hair is best around my face (see avatar just think white and no bangs.) At least I can get some curls into my locks with a curling iron. They'll even hold a few hours, but only with hair spray/spritz.
Mostly I give in to headbands, not severely pulling back. Scrunchies cause tangles; pony tails no matter where worn, pull my hair back too severely (age related high forehead scalp line) which I think is an ugly look for me. I think my less than classically femme face needs the frame of the hairstyle. I'm not young, cute, petite, or blonde or even brunette haired any more. Just white haired with under side (neck) gray strands showing up when my hair is damp. I tried coloring the white and gray away about 10 years ago. It was even worse of a look (think mutton dressed as lamb.)
I'm settling into my pensioner years gracefully and somewhat anonymously, I hope?