Pronouns when telling an old story about yourself?

[SaintAlia]

I've bumped into this situation many times now, and I wanted to get all of your opinions on it. Let's say I'm telling someone a story about my childhood. Or I'm discussing my divorce a few years ago. Or whatever; I'm telling someone about me from a time before I transitioned. It's awkward. What pronouns do I use to refer to the me who wasn't me now, and to all the world and even myself appeared male?

Obviously, I'm sure some of it depends on who I'm talking to. While I don't pass well, I'm not officially out as trans to everyone I know. So while I'm sure they *know*, I haven't explicitly told them. When(if) I pass more, I'm sure I'll start changing past-tense pronouns even more for people who I haven't come out to. Since there's no reason to needlessly out myself to people who I don't care to.

But what about to people who already know? What about situations that would make it odd to use my current pronouns? Like talking about any of the many life experiences that are different for different genders?

What do you guys think? I'd love your input!

[SailorMars1994]

Trying to think when i would need to refer to my old life in a male context... Nope, cant think of it. I just use my past in 1st person text  with ''me, I and myself''. Sure i wasnt living as I should have been and wish I did, but i see no way in which i need to pronoun my past...

[JB_Girl]

Trying to think when i would need to refer to my old life in a male context... Nope, cant think of it. I just use my past in 1st person text  with ''me, I and myself''. Sure i wasnt living as I should have been and wish I did, but i see no way in which i need to pronoun my past...

Agreed!

[Barb99]

Me, myself and I. Nothing more required. I've had many conversations regarding my past and have not had a problem.

[KarynMcD]

I had this same question a few months back. I think Brooke had the best answer.
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,222070.msg1966644.html#msg1966667

[KathyLauren]

I have run into this situation.  And while 'I' and 'me' are more common, sometimes it is necessary in a recounted story to use the third person.  (I can't seem to contrive an example right now, but I know I've run into this situation in the past.)  If you are trying to be stealthy with the audience, then obviously use the pronouns of your current gender.

However, if the audience knows your background, there is no wrong answer.  It is obviously appropriate to refer to yourself by your current pronouns because that's who you are and really were.  On the other hand, it is not wrong to refer to yourself by the pronouns you used at the time, because that's what you used at the time.

No matter what you do, it's going to sound weird.  Just carry on like you know what you are doing, and it will be fine.

[Anne Blake]

As mentioned earlier, first person pronouns are gender neutral and have not been an issue for me. What does get in the way is the context or content of the stories. We all have lots of stories to tell and I try to tell stories with intent and purpose. Most times keeping my gender in the story meets the intent of telling it and then I need to shape the story to be believable for a woman. Yes I agree that women can and do virtually everything that men do but some of the more extreme tales (working cowboy, biker, etc.) might push folks to look past my current gender presentation. Other times I find it needed to break gender presentation and out myself for the purpose of educating those it might help. Those are often the harder tales to tell.

[HayleyVera]

I always use female pronouns when referring to myself in past tense, no matter who I am talking to. I have just found that sometimes misgenderig myself in that way makes other think it's okay to do the same. Also, I feel although I hadn't transitioned yet, even back then I was a female.

[Sophia Sage]

I always use female pronouns when referring to myself in past tense, no matter who I am talking to. I have just found that sometimes misgenderig myself in that way makes other think it's okay to do the same. Also, I feel although I hadn't transitioned yet, even back then I was a female.

This.

If your truth is that you were always female, privilege that truth over the misconceptions the world around you had at the time. 

Sometimes we are the last people in the world to keep clocking ourselves.

[Natalia]

I Always use female pronouns too and I am always referring to myself or with gender neutral words ("when I was a child") or with feminine words ("when I was a little girl")....

Actually I find it a bit weird... sometimes I feel like I am trying to lie or change the real history... but it is like others have already stated: I am not lying...I was a girl... I only didn't know at that time what exactly was wrong with me.