Allie's Blog IV: Revenge of Allie's Blog

[LoriDee]

I think shaving is a smart idea. If the topper is tugging at the hairs, it could be painful and possibly damage the follicles. You don't need that. I forgot to mention, the prescription strength of the Rogaine they sent me is for men.

[imallie]

I think shaving is a smart idea. If the topper is tugging at the hairs, it could be painful and possibly damage the follicles. You don't need that. I forgot to mention, the prescription strength of the Rogaine they sent me is for men.

Gotcha. And yes, I would shave it... but obviously I think I'd like to give it a shot first to see if I can fill it in enough to bead it. That would be so much better. To not have to deal with tape at all, you know?

When I've been putting on the topper at home (mostly just for practice putting it on) I'm obviously not doing the tape... seems like it would be a waste. But it's also obvious what a major difference it makes not having it be secure in the front.

Let me know if the script works for you! I'm curious!!!

[Moonflower]

Is Minoxidyl much stronger than Rogaine?

Rogaine is the brand name for 5% Minoxidil. Minoxidil is available in several strengths (%) by prescription. A former dermatologist of mine prescribed a specific 7% formulation that cost a fortune, so we never tried it. We understood that it works best on recently-lost hairs.

Minoxidil was originally prescribed in pill form for high blood pressure.
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6691938/
Doctors noticed that increased hair growth (including facial hair) was a side effect of the oral dose. When applied to the scalp, it should only increase hair growth where it touches. Foam seems to be easier to use than the liquidy solution. Lots more info at that government website.

[imallie]

Rogaine is the brand name for 5% Minoxidil. Minoxidil is available in several strengths (%) by prescription. A former dermatologist of mine prescribed a specific 7% formulation that cost a fortune, so we never tried it. We understood that it works best on recently-lost hairs.

Minoxidil was originally prescribed in pill form for high blood pressure.
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6691938/
Doctors noticed that increased hair growth (including facial hair) was a side effect of the oral dose. When applied to the scalp, it should only increase hair growth where it touches. Foam seems to be easier to use than the liquidy solution. Lots more info at that government website.

Thanks! Now that I'm not in the fog of migraine and Vicodin, I believe I knew a BIT of that. 😂 But that's helpful.

And yeah, if it's wildly pricey I'm not sure I'd go for it... especially since this isn't recent hair loss. I would literally never have even bothered with this idea, had not the salon owner and the stylist said that they thought it might help someone like me. I figure they'd seen it pretty often.

So it's worth exploring. Thanks again for the info and link. ❤️

[imallie]

So as we prepare for this next (and final) round of "the telling" I'm working simultaneously on the note (a fun-sized version of letter) and the list.  One of the list issues is a bit geeky, but it relates to my fantasy baseball league.

And while I know that sounds like a bit of nonsense, our league is one of the oldest in the country — we've been together since 1989. So two of the members were in the original six I've already told, and another of the original six was a founding member of the league who left like 20 years ago.

But even so, the remaining members are all people I've known for quite some time, so they are on the list — except for one member. We have a new guy this year. And him, I barely know at all.

So the question is - do I need to tell him just for the sake of completing the set? Or, more, seriously... is it really nice to tell the others and then immediately ask them to keep a secret from "the new guy"? But on the other hand, this seems like a DRAMATIC elevation in the relationship between me and this new guy, you know? Uncomfortably so — for him, I would gather.

So this morning, I called one of the two league members who knows to get his advice. He is the one who brought the "new guy" into league. And so I thought he'd help me navigate this.

He certainly did.

Because he told me "Oh, uh... yeah, I already told him."

🙄😮🤔😂

I mean, WTF?

He said that the new guy bumped on my long hair at our draft (which was done via Zoom) and when they were talking shortly after my friend got the letter, new guy brought it up again... and, somehow one thing led to another and he told him.  Oh and he was fine with it. He's a doctor and he has patients, blah blah blah... all good.

So as I said to my wife, there are two ways to take this:

1. Be ticked off that, yet again, someone else just has gone and told my story without asking.

2. Look at this like there was an issue, and now that issue is sorted out.

With all the other things going on in our lives, I told her we should absolutely just go with #2. She laughed and agreed.

This is just further proof that we have NO IDEA nor NO CONTROL over who knows ... and once we told my sisters, from that day forward we knew again we never would. Any time we get deluded into thinking that things are operating on our timeline, reality slaps us in the face with a mackerel.

So... now it just means we really need to hurry up and get the note out. Because really as long as we make sure we've told the people whom we want to hear it from us... if/when other people find out was and never really will be in our control.

Love,
Allie

[LoriDee]

Give me coffee for the things I can change.
Give me wine for the things I cannot.

I think you have it right. Talk to the people you want to hear it from you. The rest will take care of themselves.

[Oldandcreaky]

Allie, I understood people talking when I transitioned, but I'll never understand people talking without my explicit consent after 20, 30, and 40 years.

"Really? Really, I want to say. "That's still the most interesting thing about me, the thing that you think summarizes me?"

I was gone for a bit because I couldn't log onto Susan's. Was that just me?

[LoriDee]

It was everyone. The server was down over the weekend.

[imallie]

Allie, I understood people talking when I transitioned, but I'll never understand people talking without my explicit consent after 20, 30, and 40 years.

"Really? Really, I want to say. "That's still the most interesting thing about me, the thing that you think summarizes me?"

I was gone for a bit because I couldn't log onto Susan's. Was that just me?

If you scroll up you'll see I made a delightlful droll joke about the outage and how it was my fault. They say if you can make just one person laugh?... well, that means you are decidedly not very funny as far as I understand it. But Lori liked the joke, so I can live with that. 😘

And yes, I made peace with people talking. I just said to my wife this evening "I have to stop asking people if they have told anyone, especially if I really don't want to hear the answer.."

I just trimmed the list down for the "note" I am going to send to a tight 25.  This will be the final group whom I tell myself. After that... it's out in the world.

Well, my wife still has to tell her work folks at some point.

But other than that, it'll spread how it will spread... and we will probably just post some pics on facebook at some point. Not like "look at me, I'm in transition" photos... but more like, "hey here we are on vacation" stuff we normally do... only I'll be the real me.

The people who know, will know. The people who didn't at that point... will catch up real fast.

Love,
Allie

P.S. to be more specific, though. We are going to Washington DC for a week in early June. I will 100% be dressed for many of our days there... it's a good way to start getting comfortable. And we will certainly take pics. But we aren't sure if we will share those pics beyond family. We might only share the pics when I'm in guy mode on FB for now.  We really haven't decided.

[LoriDee]

Or pics of the sights with no one in them?
I haven't been to DC since the 70s.

[imallie]

Or pics of the sights with no one in them?
I haven't been to DC since the 70s.

When it comes to nature — I'm on board with that. But otherwise, I feel like what is a photo of a place without people in it? A postcard. I very much know that's not a majority opinion but that's kind of where I land.

And wow... not since the 70's! We thought not going in about a dozen years was a lot!

We were just laughing about how the last time we went, my college roommate got us a private tour of the capitol and the White House for me, my wife and our son.

And now 12 years later, last week our son said "Let me know if you want me to arrange a private tour of the Capitol for you."

Life moves pretty darn fast.

[LoriDee]

Yeah, it was a weird situation when I went. I had just received a bonus check from the Army. I was on leave and hanging out with a friend. We were having coffee one Saturday morning trying to decide what to do. She said, "Have you ever been to Washington, DC?". I said I hadn't and she hadn't either. So we caught the next flight out of Louisville. We spent the day walking around, then when it got dark we flew back. Not much of a visit, but now we both can claim we have been there, and done that.

The following weekend, we were doing the same thing trying to decide what to do that day. She wanted to visit some friends in Indianapolis. She said she hitchhikes there all the time. Truck drivers pick you up and she has never had an issue. So we hitchhiked, and a driver gave us a ride (a car not a truck) and dropped us off right at the door. I was amazed! Later that night, we headed home. It started raining hard. We walked a long way, but a truck driver picked us up and got us close to Louisville so we could walk another few miles to her house. That was the last time I hitchhiked anywhere. The following week I bought a car.