Hi Rachel! Yes, I'm OK...
I have been keeping a low profile because there are some things I have said in the past (usually regarding relationships) that I later regret putting out there for the entire world to see. I need to be better about finding that middle ground. Somewhere between baring my entire soul (and the souls of those around me) and going radio silent is the right place to be!
I'm now a little past the 3-month point post-GRS, and I'm very happy with the results. I had a couple weeks recently where my dilations were pretty difficult, and I had my local doctor take a look last week. She noted a little more granulation tissue and got after it with some silver nitrate. I'm doing a lot better now.
One very significant thing in my life is that my ex-wife is about to move out of the house. There is no animosity on either side, although living together had become a bit toxic. She is worried to death about the financial side of this, and I am for her as well. It'll also be a bit of a problem for ME financially, since the $$ I give her in child support won't be coming back to me anymore as "rent / bills". My oldest wants to stay with me, and my ex isn't going to make her go. My youngest is fine with the 1 week on / 1 week off setup that is in the divorce decree. It will definitely be a major life change, and I'm feeling that even though the divorce was final well over a year ago, this is really making it FINAL.
I continue to spend time with the person I mentioned quite a while back as someone who really does a great job of tempering my anxiety. We're just really good friends, and sometimes that's what you need. It's not like I can "do" anything right now, anyway!!
I'm also continuing my therapy with Dr. Torres, and she has been helping a lot with all of the different things going on in my life. Between GRS, the toxicity in my house leading to Kristin's departure, and navigating the dating scene, she has had her work cut out for her. I think I'm doing pretty well with everything that is going on, and I don't really feel much of the "transgender self-loathing" anymore. It's nice.
OK, enough for now --
~Sara
