Opening the cage

[Moonflower]

Just tonight I happened to notice my wife's phone, and while she was texting my son and in our group chat, I noticed that she'd changed my name to my new name in it. That's something that I wouldn't ever really see. It's just for her.. but seeing it, made me smile.

I don't want to miss a single opportunity to have that kind of effect.

You, your wife, my wife, and I have such important stories to share. When I began learning about trans, I was overwhelmed by the warnings that most trans people lose significant others.

I couldn't see any reason why I would disconnect from her in any way. She's such an important, valuable part of my life! Her public self expression is so thrilling and means so much to me! As she said the other day, people are responding to her so much more kindly than they did to "him".

[Moonflower]

Congrats on the first steps in the name change process! Just started looking at that and it seems like a long road!!!

Just now, I started putting together a checklist to help her manage it:
First, social security, then driver's license, then birth certificate.
Citizenship and immigration documentation, such as a passport or visa.
Voter registration.
Workplace and school records.
Military/veteran records.
Licensing boards and professional associations.
Financial institutions including banks, lenders, credit unions, credit cards, investment companies/brokerages, and retirement or pension accounts.
Credit bureaus.
Legal documentation and accounts for real estate and personal property (vehicles), including deeds, mortgages or lease agreements.
Legal documents including those where listed as an agent, beneficiary, or trustee, such as a Deed, Last Will and Testament, Living Trust or Power of Attorney.
Insurance documents including health, auto, home, renters, umbrella, and life.
Bills, including electric, water, sewer, fuel, internet, phone, cable, memberships, medical, shopping, and subscriptions.
Social media and email accounts.
Health care proxies.

Do any others come to mind? We can post this list on another board where others are more likely to find it.

[imallie]

That seems excellent. It seems to me... at the onset (just printed out the name change paperwork for my state) that the whole process is a bit like whack-a-mole. You just keep knocking down each thing when it pops up until, hopefully, eventually you "win". 😂

[LoriDee]

I also sent a certified copy of the name change to each of the three credit bureaus, TransUnion, Experian, and EquiFax. That helps speed things along because then their information matches what the banks and credit cards are reporting.

[Moonflower]

I also sent a certified copy of the name change to each of the three credit bureaus, TransUnion, Experian, and EquiFax. That helps speed things along because then their information matches what the banks and credit cards are reporting.

Great! I added that to the list.

[Northern Star Girl]

@Moonflower  @imallie  @LoriDee  @Sarah B
Dear Ladies:  
I am very much appreciative of all of your contributions in this useful
and informative conversation regarding the name change processes and procedures
that can apply to our members that are in their transition journey. 

Thank you for sharing and posting and please continue on with more of your
thoughts, comments and followup information.

Note: As you can see, I have included quotes of a of your posts here on my
reply comment which can be referred to anyone that is having name change
questions and/or problems.

Many Hugs,
Danielle   [Northern Star Girl]
The Forum Administrator
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

I also sent a certified copy of the name change to each of the three credit bureaus, TransUnion, Experian, and EquiFax. That helps speed things along because then their information matches what the banks and credit cards are reporting.

That seems excellent. It seems to me... at the onset (just printed out the name change paperwork for my state) that the whole process is a bit like whack-a-mole. You just keep knocking down each thing when it pops up until, hopefully, eventually you "win". 😂

Just now, I started putting together a checklist to help her manage it:
First, social security, then driver's license, then birth certificate.
Citizenship and immigration documentation, such as a passport or visa.
Voter registration.
Workplace and school records.
Military/veteran records.
Licensing boards and professional associations.
Financial institutions including banks, lenders, credit unions, credit cards, investment companies/brokerages, and retirement or pension accounts.
Legal documentation and accounts for real estate and personal property (vehicles), including deeds, mortgages or lease agreements.
Legal documents including those where listed as an agent, beneficiary, or trustee, such as a Deed, Last Will and Testament, Living Trust or Power of Attorney.
Insurance documents including health, auto, home, renters, umbrella, and life.
Bills, including electric, water, sewer, fuel, internet, cellphone, memberships, medical, shopping, and subscriptions.
Social media and email accounts.
Health care proxies.

Do any others come to mind? We can post this list on another board where others are more likely to find it.

Hi Moonflower

You mentioned in this post:

Such a wondrous occasion, I'm happy you are enjoying that moment and the future ones, that are to come.  You should celebrate with a party or something similar, write it down in a diary.  So you will always remember these occasions more vividly than I can.  I hope you do not have lots of those documents to change.

I believe I only had the following to changed, when I changed my life around.  My driving licence, Medicare card, my Medibank card (health insurance) and my scuba diving cards.  As far as I know I never jumped for joy or had a party to remember those occasions by.  It was a case of I got one done, lets move on to the next one.  I also had only two sets of transcripts to be changed over.

As for the  Velveteen Rabbit, I will get a copy and I will be reading it shortly.

The love you both have for each other shows no bounds and the sharing of your journey to the members of Susan's is priceless and shows what is possible.  Maybe you should write a book about that journey.

Take care and as always best wishes for the future.

Love and Hugs
Sarah B
Official Greeter
@Moonflower

[Moonflower]

just printed out the name change paperwork for my state

We really lucked out. We stumbled upon a nonprofit organization of Cornell University law students who helped my wife change her name and gender. No charge for their services. We paid the court fee (>$200!), which is discounted for people who qualify, and provided a photocopy of her birth certificate. They got it all done in just a month, and the necessary court typo correction was done overnight! They arranged for the court record to be sealed. We provided all of the info that they needed to file, and they answered all of our concerns in less than an hour.

Their URL
https://vlpcny.org/
They might connect you with a similar service where you are.

I found some awful stories here at Susan's of long, drawn-out procedures in other states, and some much better ones in other countries 15 or so years ago. Let us know if we can help you in any way.

@Northern Star Girl
Another piece for your list. I also started a new Name Change Procedures thread on the Transgender talk board.

[LoriDee]

Here in South Dakota, I got the paperwork from the Court Clerk. The cost was $25 and included the filing fee.

Once filed, they gave me a court date (offered three for me to choose from). Then that paperwork must be filed with the Clerk.

A copy of that Notice of Hearing then must be published in a local newspaper at least once a week for four weeks. The newspaper charged $175 but gave me a notarized affidavit that the notice was published as required which also gets filed at no charge.

At the court hearing the judge reviewed all of the paperwork, including the Petition for Adult Name Change and supporting documents, Notice of Hearing, Affidavit of Publication, and asked if there were any challenges present in court. Nothing heard and the judge signed the Order for Legal Adult Name Change.

That goes down to the Clerk and it too is filed. The Clerk then told me I could get an unlimited number of Certified Copies of the Order. There is no charge because it is my case. I asked for 25 copies.

Done and done. After that, I began my mailing campaign. For local businesses (utility companies, credit union, cell phone, internet, landlord, etc.) I walked in and presented them with a copy of the Order. Most of them made a copy and returned my certified copy, so I have spares.