What is your rationale for having GRS than not

[stephaniec]

I'm 65 years old and in this mental debate on whether or not I should have GRS or just go into the sunset without it.For those contemplating having GRS what is your major deciding reason for having GRS.

[AnonyMs]

I've been struggling not to socially transition, but I get to the point where I have to do something. Well grs is something... maybe it will help.

Apart from that, why not? I like the idea. A lot.

[RobynD]

Although i don't have a lot of dysphoria about things down there, for me it represents a sort of completeness. My views on this have changed from maybe to almost definitely over only about a year.

Also, as i have a male partner and whatever happens there, that trend is likely to continue, it seems like a good thing to do for that type of intimacy (certainly not mandatory but you know what i mean)

[stephaniec]

The intimacy thing is what would probably make the final point for me

[JMJW]

Personally, GRS is too difficult to maintain and the risk of complication far too high. Based on what I read on wikipedia.

[KathyLauren]

Like Robyn, it's about completeness.  Transitioning socially has cured most of my dysphoria, which had been focused on social and expression issues.  But now that the major noise has been quieted, I hear the remaining dysphoria about my body image.  If the doc told me that I couldn't have GRS for whatever reason, I would survive and be reasonably happy, but since I can have it, I want it in order to complete this journey.  I have come so far, why stop now?

[SadieBlake]

I posted a fairly long pair of threads that walked through my decision. The essence would be that after waiting 18 years to start hrt - by which time I was desperately depressed - I felt it was most likely I would just turn up back in the same unhappy place if I didn't address my genitalia. Complicating was the fact that my really good insurance (via COBRA) runs out at the end of July. It's true that all Massachusetts plans have to cover GCS, however a plan that let me pretty much pick any surgeon in the US I wanted put a fixed timeline on my decision.

20:20 hindsight, I'm really happy post op

[LizK]

Like Robyn, it's about completeness.  Transitioning socially has cured most of my dysphoria, which had been focused on social and expression issues.  But now that the major noise has been quieted, I hear the remaining dysphoria about my body image.  If the doc told me that I couldn't have GRS for whatever reason, I would survive and be reasonably happy, but since I can have it, I want it in order to complete this journey.  I have come so far, why stop now?

I am in this basket as well I think. I have resited the idea for a long time however I still went ahead a scheduled an appointment to see the surgeon next month. Everything in my head tells me logically that I should not really be considering this. However I let my head have way to much control over my heart for too many years and that has not worked out well for me. Each time I run through all the logical reason why I shouldn't

Money
Age
Never going to use the equipment
possible risks

It is always a feeling of...yeah but I want this surgery I want to be complete as I can be. What hangs between my legs is a source of  unrelenting dysphoria, I think it is  because having a penis reminds me of my maleness...

I may not have any choice as I am going to have to find a way to fund the shortfall. Even though the Govt assists I am still up for 13k+ and more like over 20k by the time I pay for all the required extra's....so I may not have a choice in this anyway. I don't have that much nor do I have a way to earn it....

I would like to be able to stand in front of a mirror and see myself the way I feel, that is about the best I can explain it in a few lines but it is like most things far more complicated than just that.

[stephaniec]

Yea, the brain vs body divide

[ryokohimura]

What really started the GCS internal debate for me was that after having come out as a lesbian (as well) back in February. I now find myself single and wonder if it would help me feel more confident when dealing with cis-women in particular. At the time I did come out, I was in a relationship with another trans woman so whether or not to get GCS was sort of...mute? The two of us could cross that bridge together, but life had other plans.

Another thing is that I'm only 34 and while I'm not "young", for whatever reason, I seem set on carrying my own children. It may seem "pie in the sky" but it did keep GCS as a "Someday" type of thing. For whatever reason, I figured I might as well get the full functional reproductive system, even if it meant waiting till my 60s.

[CarlyMcx]

I'm a practical girl.  To me GCS means my panties fit better, I can wear leggings and short shorts without an overhanging top, I can wear a bikini in public without doing a tuck and tape, and it is an indelible passport into the women's locker room.

[Michelle_P]

Like many others, I really don't like what I've got.  I can't stand seeing my male genetalia in the mirror, and have my life full of workarounds to avoid seeing it.  Gender Confirmation Surgery (GCS) can re-arrange the tissues into an organ that matches my identity.

Bonus:  my clothes will fit better, and I won't have to worry about coming untucked any more.

My biggest decision right now is whether to get the cosmetic version or go for the full depth vaginoplasty with all that maintenance work.  I identify as a lesbian, and don't see any need to rebuild myself to please a person with an 'outie'.    There's always the chance of connecting with a female who needs to engage in acts involving toys, I suppose, but I have to be realistic about the odds for that happening!

On the other hand, I fear feeling 'incomplete' if I have the 'zero depth' cosmetic version.  Decisions, decisions...

[michelleh]

Michelle,
     I just three weeks ago had GRS. It radically changed my psyche. Many of my CIS gender female friends consider it for me just being a woman not being a transgender woman anymore but, some hang onto your previous life impersonating a male. I see myself in the mirror with my GRS plus BA and gives me a wonderful feedback loop baby your for real. It is hard to mistaken my girlness now. FFS and Voice are also important if needed. Also with GRS no spiro needed anymore if you like to sleep through out the night without needing to get up 3:00am in the morning. It also frees your estrogen to be more efficient.

Love,
Michelle J.

[Sinclair]

What really started the GCS internal debate for me was that after having come out as a lesbian (as well) back in February. I now find myself single and wonder if it would help me feel more confident when dealing with cis-women in particular. At the time I did come out, I was in a relationship with another trans woman so whether or not to get GCS was sort of...mute? The two of us could cross that bridge together, but life had other plans.

Another thing is that I'm only 34 and while I'm not "young", for whatever reason, I seem set on carrying my own children. It may seem "pie in the sky" but it did keep GCS as a "Someday" type of thing. For whatever reason, I figured I might as well get the full functional reproductive system, even if it meant waiting till my 60s.

I'm sorry, I don't understand your post.

No one can get the full reproductive system unless they are born with it. Are you saying you are a cis female and want to be FtM?

[J2J]

I am nowhere near deciding GRS but if I was to start the journey I would certainly want it to feel complete, I just hate the feeling of it being a costant reminder, especlially when you sit down and it is just there but as I said,  it's a dream at the moment and may remain one.

[Thessa]

I'm sorry, I don't understand your post.

No one can get the full reproductive system unless they are born with it. Are you saying you are a cis female and want to be FtM?

I think it's based on the hope that advancement in science will give cis- and trans woman a uterus grown from stem cells.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/science/2016/06/20/infertile-women-could-get-new-wombs-grown-from-stem-cells-within/

[Laurie]

Hi folks,

  Although I am still quite new to discovering ,admittance, and working on acceptance that I am a trans woman, I too have thought about this some. I do not view it as something I need to make a decision about right away but at the pace I am doing things I may be in for a surprise and need to make a decision soner than anticipated.
  I like to think of myself as a logical, practical individual.  My logic tells me this final step isn't necessary at my age (64) for all the reasons listed by others. It's expensive... won't use it... it's risky... etc  everything about it tells me it is completely unnecessary. There is that practical logic where how clothes could fit is concerned and lets face it that was a definite factor in my wanting breasts.  Forms just were not the correct solution as I wanted it to be "me" filling out the bodices with the right weight and more importantly the correct jiggle and bounce.
  On the pro side is that totally unlogical desire to be complete as a woman, useless equipment and all it would be nice.
   So at this point I have no idea what I will choose when the time comes.
   
  Hugs,
     Laurie

[RobynD]

For those that have zero attraction to men (or anyone with a penis) i can totally understand the use or not use thing. For those of us that have even a smidgeon of attraction to the same though, i think things can change quickly in that respect. Just a thought.

[ryokohimura]

I think it's based on the hope that advancement in science will give cis- and trans woman a uterus grown from stem cells.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/science/2016/06/20/infertile-women-could-get-new-wombs-grown-from-stem-cells-within/

Yes! Yesyesyes! This!

Sorry. I probably should have made myself more clear. Reading the reponse to my reply sent me to a dark place I seem all too familiar lately. But back on topic, it was more paragraph two being "Why GCS was not the prority" and the first being "Why I'm thinking about it more".

Again, I apologize. I should probably start explaining myself better from here on out